You Don't Know Me At All
by xXDark.Lord.MeloniousXx
Summary: The war has passed, Voldemort vanquished thanks to our hero Harry Potter. However, while in battle, the Golden Boy was saved by an enemy who refuses to answer why. Harry must learn to look past masks and much deeper to understand why he still stands. HPDM
1. Love Is The Shadow You Cast

**Disclaimer: Yeah. I don't have a Harry Potter series to call mine sniff**

**PS: This is my first HP fanfic, so forgive me for any OOCness :P**

**Warning: SLASH and OOCness**

**Couplings ahead: HermionexRon, DracoxHarry**

**Other Warning: It's rated mature for a reason, kiddies**

**Ages: 15**

Harry stood over the blonde's limp body with concern writ on his face. The battle was over, leaving Harry unharmed along with most of Hogwarts. What had happened was a blur when he tried to recall the moment. It had all happened so fast that he wasn't quite sure it had happened at all. In the heat of the battle Harry had somehow walked into Draco and found that Draco wasn't firing any curses at him or at anyone, only defending. It was an odd and significant change in the blonde's fighting style, he was usually the first to throw a spell. In any case, they were back to back and Harry found it somewhat comforting that the other boy of fifteen years was helping defend.

Harry heard a familiar voice call out a curse, one he hadn't known how to repel, so he casted a curse of his own—one he didn't even hear leave his lips—when in a flash, Draco was in front of him with guarding arms, taking the spell for his own as the boy's father hit the ground, lifeless. Draco's body had collapsed after blocking Harry, and the Chosen One hadn't even noticed he had killed Lucius until he comprehended the voice's owner. Now that everything was over, though, he stood beside Malfoy's hospital bed, wondering why in all of Hell Draco Malfoy would sacrifice himself for Harry Potter's safety.

"Is he…going to be okay?" Harry asked the nurse softly.

She looked to him sorrowfully, replying, "I'm not allowed to speak about this sort of thing. We're doing all we can, but he's pretty unstable."

"What…uhm…can you tell me what curse hit him?" The ebony-haired boy implored.

The woman told him, "Honestly, I've never seen anything like it…I can't be sure, I'm sorry."

He sighed, "It's okay."

Harry fell silent again when very abruptly Hermione and Ron wandered in. Ron looked to Harry and inquired, "What are you doing here, Harry?! The whole bloody wizarding world is waiting for you outside the effing castle! You've got to go and talk about how you saved all of our asses!"

Hermione seemed a bit bothered by the lack of grace and etiquette in Ron's conversation, but said nothing. Hermione looked to the seemingly dead body of Draco Malfoy and wondered aloud, "Are you…worried about him, Harry?"

Ron scoffed, "Prat nearly tried to kill Harry, I'm sure. Harry's not one to gloat allowed, I'm sure he's here for a victory stare, eh?"

Harry didn't seem like he even heard the comment as he stared at Draco. He replied to Hermione gently, "Yes. I'm really worried."

"What happened? Voldemort isn't inside him too, is he?" Ron snorted; Hermione glared to him, successfully shutting him up.

Harry told them, "Actually, the nurse said they've never seen anything quite like it…" Harry turned to them finally and revealed, "He did it to protect me."

"What?" They both asked in incredulous wonder.

"Yeah…he blocked the curse with himself…and I…"

Ron perked a brow, "…you?"

"What the hell have I done in return, I killed his father!" Harry barked, surprising the two enough that they jumped.

Harry ran a tired hand through his sleeves of charcoal hair as he elaborated, "I killed him…and because of me, Mrs. Malfoy is not only a widow, but she may end up without her son! I've killed the man she followed, her husband, her son…what have I done to the Malfoys?"

Hermione looked sympathetic, although Ron looked angry at the very fact that Harry felt mercy for the family. Ron scoffed, "You know what Malfoy's done to you the past years, right?"

Harry glared at Ron, "I know full well what he's done…but I mean…when it all came down to the moment of choice, he chose to sacrifice his life to save me."

"A miserable life."

They all looked to the door where a dirtied Pansy stood. Her eyes were red, worn and tired. She looked eighty years older with the worry and dismay contorting her face into sadness. Their faces begged her to continue in what she had said, so she told them, "Every action his frail little body has ever produced, every nasty syllable that ever left his mouth, every little movement and sound was all in hopes of gaining his parent's…acceptance, I suppose."

"Acceptance? The Malfoys were proud of him, you know that." Hermione fought.

Pansy glared, "You think you know that family better than me, Granger?" The girl paused, sighing and continuing, "All he ever got was disappointment or a nod of acceptance while his parents took credit for 

whatever he accomplished…he's so strong, but he only strengthened for them, and he's so smart, but he only studied for them…he's done everything in his power…even now, he's been promised to marry me since we were born, but he never argued…never tried to get rid of me or trade me. He never complained. Not once."

They all looked to the body with a new sort of admiration. Harry asked, "Did Draco's…I mean…did his parents…well…"

"Harry, I know it's hard for you to understand. I know you miss your parents terribly." The genuine care in the Slytherin's voice caused concern among the teenagers as she explained, "But, Harry…sometimes it's better off not having parents rather than…than having strangers."

Harry's eyes widened as he shot them back to the sleeping boy. His blonde hair was no longer sleeked back, it was much more feathery and soft, fanned out beneath him. Harry tried desperately to remember the color of Draco's eyes, but for the life of him could not remember. Had he ever looked into Draco's eyes? Of course he had, he had plenty of times. So why was it this way? Why couldn't he remember a sliver, a glimpse of anything…

The blonde's pallid features gave him looks of a vampire, as did his long canines that Harry often spotted when he'd smirk. That smirk usually meant that chaos was to ensue momentarily in Harry Potter's life. It usually meant that there would be trouble and drama and struggle ahead, but those lips simply stayed there now. They didn't smirk, they didn't pout, didn't frown, they didn't part they just sat there, lucid but stoic, unmoving, lifeless. Harry looked down at them and thought of how his lips looked as if they had never smiled at all. Perhaps Draco had never actually been happy.

Harry admired the boy's freckles, faded against his paled complexion. His lanky, but Quidditch-toned body was spiritless, seemingly never moved. Harry felt a very unfamiliar emotion rush over him when he heard a loud intake of breath. It was through the nostrils, that much he could tell; it was not a gasp. His eyes never averted their intent gaze as the youngest Malfoy's eyes fluttered open, slowly to meet the ceiling's stare.

"Draco!" Pansy nearly shrieked as she flew to him and wrapped him tightly in her hold.

He was sitting up now, encircled by Pansy. Hermione's heart melted at the concern drawn on Draco's face as he pulled her away to stare her in the eyes as he questioned desperately, "Y-you're okay? You're okay, r-right? You're n-not hurt, are you?"

She smiled, clearly touched by his concern as well as she shook her head negatively and told him, "No, Draco, I'm fine."

His head slipped, his chin hitting his chest as he sighed in relief, "Thank goodness…w-where am I, though?"

"You're in the hospital wing, Draco." She told him slowly.

He looked up to her and quizzed, "I…when did…where was…I…was…I was…" Realization dawned on Draco's face as he shot his covers off and yelped, "Oi! Potter, he's-"

He met Harry's emerald eyes with his own; Harry found himself ensnared by the stormy look in them. They were a powerful silver, a melted gun shooting through Harry's being; beautiful like a dark thunderstorm. He could almost hear the thunder that Draco's heart created, the lightening gone from him, though…the lightening was mostly likely snuffed out as the spark of liveliness emptied from him.

"He's…here." Draco finished as his expression calmed.

He rose from the covers and walked up to the raven-haired boy; his first few steps were very slow and somewhat wobbly, but he quickly regained his usual grace as he finally met him by a few inches of space. He looked Harry Potter in the eyes, devoid of emotion until he lurched forward and hugged the boy tightly. Harry's heart thudded against his ribcage as Draco's arms wrapped around his torso, encasing him in a chill that must be the sign of a cold-blooded Malfoy. Too shocked to hug back, Harry did nothing as Malfoy pulled away.

Hermione and Ron stood in shock, their faces jaw-dropped, awe-struck. Draco looked stoic, though, as always as he told Harry, "You…you saved me. Thank you."

"Sorry?" Harry uttered.

"I think…I think you saved me…"

"Your head must be bashed up, Draco, you saved Harry." Pansy stated matter-of-factly.

Draco looked to Harry again, his stormy eyes augmenting as he said softly, "No…no, he saved me…that's…he's…no, he's saved me before. Even if he didn't save me tonight…what…"

He looked to Pansy, "Pansy…what…why do…why do I feel like I'm mourning…"

Her eyes curved in despair as she glanced to Ron, then Hermione, then finally Harry. She signaled to him that it was his job to tell the boy of his father's passing. The blonde turned to Harry and implored,

"W-what…what don't I know yet, Harry?"

Harry's face flushed; since when did Draco Malfoy call him 'Harry'?

"I…" Harry gulped inaudibly, "I…Draco…your…your father…he's…"

Hermione and Ron looked to each other, both clearly fearing the same thing as Harry; that Draco would pull out his wand and fire at them mercilessly in rage when the word would slip. Draco pressed for Harry to continue by stepping back. Harry finally sighed deeply, shakily as he finished, "He's…he's dead, Draco."

Rather than the infuriation or sullen reaction the trio thought would explode from Draco, the boy stood as if he had just seen a ghost—if that wasn't a normal thing to be seeing. His gunmetal eyes were wide, shocked and his face must have paled ten times more.

"…dead?"

"Y-Yes, Draco…"

"Draco?" Pansy asked nervously.

Draco dropped to his knees, frightening everyone for a moment until they realized he was okay, physically. He looked ahead blankly, bewildered.

"Draco…I'm so sorry for your loss." Hermione nearly whispered.

Draco glanced to his side; he was acting like someone who had just woken from a comma with severe memory loss. Looking around at his surroundings as if he had never seen them before; acting in a way he never usually acted. Harry pressed with concern, "Draco?"

The blonde looked to him, his normally condescending glare replaced by a hunted, shock-writ expression. The open window of the hospital-wing allowed a cool rush of air to breeze through, pushing the long white curtains towards them and brushing through Draco's nearly matching hair. The lift of cool air picked up at the loose-fitting hospital clothes he was wearing; he was so white with the room and curtains and clothes, he looked like a phantom.

"…Draco?"

The pair of wounded eyes still gazed at him as his voice finally escaped, "My father…"

"I'm sorry, Draco." Harry told him sorrowfully.

Draco glanced down, then back to Harry as he implored, "So you…you killed him, Harry?"

Harry's heart thumped against his ribcage in agony, "I-I'm so sorry, Draco, you have to believe me, I had no idea wh-"

Harry was stopped by Draco's hands stretching out before him. Harry asked simply, "W-what?"

Draco stated as if common sense, "Help me up, Harry."

Harry blushed again at Draco referring to him as anything other than 'Potter' then leaned forward, gripping his thin arms and helping him to his feet. Draco smiled weakly, "Thank you, Harry."

"What is going on with you? Are you sure you're okay, Draco?" Harry pressed.

"I know you'd never use the killing curse on purpose, Harry. You're too good for that. I know it was a mistake. You don't have to apologize to me." Draco elaborated.

Harry uttered in amazement, "Too good?"

Draco smiled, "I'm just…glad you're okay, Harry…"

Draco seemed to lose strength in his knees, almost falling had Harry not gripped more tightly onto his frail arms. He brought Draco back to the cot and planted him down on the open sheets; Draco's metallic eyes only open as slits as he muttered, "That's all I wanted…it's all I've wanted…"

He faded back to sleep; Harry figured the shock must have been a bit much right after he gained consciousness.

Ron snorted, "Too good? Harry Potter is too good for the killing curse in the eyes of Draco Malfoy? Did he even call you Harry? That's too much! Think maybe he's gotten himself hit with a memory charm?"

Hermione glared to Ron, "Maybe it's the near-death experience that has given him a change of heart, you dunderhead."

He scowled, "The rat's hardly human; he's got no heart."

"Ronald! That's a god-awful thing to say!" Hermione scolded.

Ron shrugged, but all of their attention turned to Pansy and her sudden cascades of tears. She sniffed, wiping at her eyes and smiling sadly as she told Ron, "No, Weasley…it's not like that…Draco has a heart…" She looked Ron in the eyes, her brows curving into a desperately sad expression as she continued, "…it's just broken…"

Harry's curiosity only grew, so he implored, "Broken?"

She laughed morbidly, "Harry Potter…you and your stupid friends…" she gasped to catch her breath from beneath her cries before finishing, "…could never understand him. You could never understand him…he's a mystery."

Ron interjected, "A mystery? He's as mysterious as a hippogriff standing next to a giant sign reading 'I am a hippogriff'."

She glowered, "You, most of all Weasel, could never understand him…his kindness, his beauty is subtle and uncommon…"

She held her pallid hands to her heart as she closed her eyes and told them as if reciting a poem, "He once saw me crying in my room because of an awful prank some Gryffindor girl pulled. He didn't give me any kind words, not even a glance really."

"Where's the kindness?" Ron interrupted. He was glared at by the group, thus silenced as she explained,

"But when I went to my room, sitting on my bed was a rose with dark, green petals and a blood red stem. A note lying beside it read 'You are wonderful' with a small dash and in his beautiful cursive he wrote 'Draco'."

Hermione laughed softly, "Draco…he couldn't have actually…"

She looked to Hermione and told her, "I would never have imagined it either…but he has always told me that although he doesn't love me, he thinks I am beautiful…he once told me that bravery is not in the stupid risks that Gryffindors take, true bravery is in the daring silence of Slytherins."

"Is he…somewhat of an older brother to you?" Hermione asked kindly.

She sighed, "I am so in love with him."

They all gulped inaudibly as she looked to him softly, repeating, "I love him so much. He doesn't love me, though. I sometimes think that maybe…his heart is too broken to love anything."

Harry asked again, "You keep saying his heart is broken, but…who broke his heart if he's always stayed loyal to your arranged marriage?"

Her expression etched into a deep seriousness as she murmured, "Do you know what kind of torture he has had to endure?"

Harry didn't know how to respond, so she continued, "You don't understand him…you never could. I never could…I can't either…he'll never let me in…although…"

Harry pressed, "Although? What?"

She smiled again, "He did…let me in…once."

Hermione asked casually, "How do you know?"

"We were sitting out by the astronomy tower in the first year." She began, "He looked at me and told me, 'I hate Potter.' And I told him as a joke, 'You hate everything.'…he told me, 'Not everything. I don't hate you.' …and I smiled…I asked him, 'Do you hate Voldemort?' and he told me, 'I hate being controlled.'…I asked him, 'So in a sense, you feel the complete opposite for Potter that you feel for Voldemort…you feel a type of love for Potter?'…"

She trailed off for a moment, keeping the group in a painful suspense until she finished, "And he told me, 'In a hateful type way. I admire him. He is going to do everything I want to. He deserves every happiness.' …I can remember the very look I gave him. I was disgusted at first, terribly confused, but then he looked at me and told me, 'I wish you every happiness too.' …it only reminded me of how much I love him…but that was the only time…the only time he ever really let me in."

Harry backed away a bit, telling her, "I'm sorry, I just…I don't think I can believe Draco Malfoy saying I deserve every happiness."

She glared at Harry, barking, "That's because you don't know the real Draco Malfoy! You never saw how he cried or how he screamed and writhed in pain! You never saw when he tried to protect your pride, your side of the story, your fate! You never saw him being kind or gentle, you never saw how broken he was because you were too distracted with the charade he put on to cover up all the pain!"

Harry flinched at the sound of anger in her voice, he asked, "How do I get to see it then? How was I supposed to know?!"

She shook her head in frustration, "Draco would tell me, 'I will protect you, Pan, from the darkness inside you. I promise.'."

Harry cocked a brow, arguing, "What does that mean to me?!"

She snapped back, "Deeper, Potter! Look deeper! Draco didn't just see me as the happy girl I painted myself to be, he 'knew' there was darkness there, he 'knew' there was sadness and he offered to heal me! He told me he would protect my heart, without ever having to ask a single question…without ever requesting anything…"

She smiled, looking to the sleeping figure again as she stated with a soft laugh, "My mother told me once that 'True love is the willingness to give without a thought of receiving anything in return.' …but I guess she was wrong."

Harry frowned, following her gaze to the blonde boy.

Draco Malfoy…

A deep mystery.

He wanted to know more.


	2. My Song is Love Unknown

**Hey, here's chapter two! Hope you guys like it. Thank you all for the reviews and adds so far! It's all insanely appreciated. Anyway, hope you enjoy you're latest update!**

The quick figure ran through the halls, zooming past the gigantic windows, past the thousands of portraits, the small, traveling groups of students and teachers. His cloak flew behind him like wings to carry him to his anticipating destination. His emerald eyes shined with a glossy layer of glee, his feet tapping against the hall's echoing floors and stone stairs being the only noise besides the soft conversations he passed. His grin was growing at the wonderful rush his body felt as he created a wind around himself in his speed. Finally he screeched to a halt; he reached his destination.

"Harry, you're early." Hermione told him with a smile.

Harry lifted his hands to his hair, trying to calm its wind-rushed fashion. He walked up to Hermione and Ron, simpering, "'Lo, 'Mione."

She smiled sweetly, "Sorry for not waking you, but…everything's just been so…well…you know."

"Stressful." Ron pitched in.

Hermione nodded, "Harry…it's kind of…uhm…unlike you to be so…uhm…"

"Chipper." Ron interjected.

Hermione shot a look to the red-head, silencing him before continuing, "Well…I mean, you usually end up beating yourself up for…losses, even when in the grand scheme we win…I've just never seen you…ehm…recover so quickly. It's been only a week since the battle, after all."

Harry grinned, "Don't worry, 'Mione, I'm just…"

He looked away for a moment, gathering his thoughts before coming back, "You know…I don't have to end my sentences as 'if Voldemort doesn't kill me before then'…and…people seem a lot more peaceful and…I'm just…I'm just glad. I can almost be normal now."

"Harry Potter; normal, that'll be the day, eh?" Ron joked.

Hermione frowned but Harry laughed along with Ron, adding, "Yeah, that'll be the day."

Hermione's concern was clearly not vanquished, but she sighed and told him, "Well, if you find yourself in need of someone to talk to you, you know you can come to me or Ron."

Ron smiled, "Oh, come, 'Mione, the man knows he can come to his best mates!"

The curve of Harry's lips only broadened. This was life. This was beauty and magic and happiness. He liked this. The beauty was in the castle's renovations and peaceful aura. The magic that didn't need a wand; the constant chemistry between his two best friends that was completely denied or 

unacknowledged childishly. His peers, teachers, even the school animals, Hagrid, everyone completely safe and sound to help him along to the rest of his journey in life. That was happiness.

"You kids can come in now." The nurse announced to the trio.

You see, Harry was in such a rush because this was the day that Draco Malfoy was well enough to return to his house and classes. Harry was eager to see Draco, ask him why Draco embraced him so coolly when he saw him last, ask him why he saved him, ask him if he forgave him for his father's murder, ask him to show him his kind, gentle side—his mystery. He was going to ask Draco to always look him in the eyes, so he would never have to forget their stormy look. He was going to ask if Draco wanted a book-carrier, if he wanted help in catching up on school work (although there were about three classes since the battle, dedicated mostly to praising Harry and explaining the Wizarding World's current conduct). He was eager to be Draco Malfoy's friend now. With all of the knowledge gained due to Pansy Parkinson's emotional melt-down he could hardly wait to see Draco's true colors. The colors that cared about Harry Potter, the ones that wished him every happiness. Oh, the suspense had killed him all week!

He walked in, finding that Hermione and Ron were still fighting by the entrance of the Hospital Wing, leaving him alone with Draco. Draco was sitting up in the hospital bed, his back resting in the swollen pillows as the soft breeze from outside pushed through his bleach-blonde hair. His stormy eyes locked with jade as Harry finally found his voice, "Draco, how are you feeling?"

Harry's anticipation grew as Draco's lashes lowered a bit, shadowing his foggy eyes, his plump but paled lips pressed together as his brows furrowed. Harry felt confusion wash over him as he identified this expression as a glare; one of Draco's brows perked upward as he replied coldly,

"My spine's likely been severed, I've got a headache like a mandrake's stuck in my ear, my eyes feel like they're bleeding and my entire body is in excruciating pain. Other than that, I'm dandy, Potter."

Harry was taken aback by his sudden change in character. Harry's heart ached, the last he had seen Draco was…

"_You…you saved me. Thank you."_

"_Help me up, Harry."_

"_Thank you, Harry."_

"_I know you'd never use the killing curse on purpose, Harry. You're too good for that. I know it was a mistake. You don't have to apologize to me." _

"_I'm just…glad you're okay, Harry…" _

"_That's all I wanted…it's all I've wanted…" _

"What's got your wand in a knot?" Harry sneered as nonchalant as humanly possible.

Draco was glowering at him, a mutiny shimmering in his gunmetal eyes as he stated simply, "You killed my father."

Harry's face paled, "You forgave me for that."

A thick silence fell upon them, creating a nearly palpable aura of discomfort. Draco looked away,

"What are you doing here anyway, Potter?"

Harry somewhat missed Draco calling him 'Harry' as he replied,

"I came to see you back."

Draco looked back to him, "I can take care of myself."

Harry scowled; every word that slipped from the blonde's lips was dripping with distain and loathing. It was an ugly sound, one Harry hated as much as the screech of nails on blackboards. He shook his head a little to brush a slip of charcoal hair out of his eyes, telling Draco,

"I know that. I was just trying to help or be nice or something. It's called being civil, you might want to look into it. I hear society likes it a lot."

Draco's face darkened further if possible, he looked like a white tiger about to pounce on its much-awaited prey. He stated simply in return,

"You have no right to speak to me in such a way. I didn't kill your parents."

Harry snapped defensively, "Your mother's not dead!"

"She might as well be!"

"While she's still with health?!"

"Not while she's without him!"

They stared silently at each other again. Draco finally told him,

"Leave."

"Why do you hate me so much?!" Harry fought.

Draco looked away, "I don't have to answer to the likes of you."

Harry's blood was boiling and firing up into his head. He could feel his teeth gritting, his fists clenching. Today was supposed to be a day that Harry celebrated love, magic, happiness and beauty, the safety of his friends and family and his new found friendship within Draco Malfoy! Instead Draco's forgiving, gentle persona from only last week had been replaced by this cold mask. Harry growled from 

somewhere in his chest and turned on his heel to storm out the door. His hand was on the door handle when he heard a mumble. Harry turned his back, barking, "What?!"

He was met with Draco's stormy eyes again, but they had that weak, hunted look as they did the week prior.

"Nevermind." Draco muttered softly.

Harry sighed, "S-sorry, what? What did you say?"

"Just get out."

"Draco-"

"Just get out!"

"Ugh! Fine!" Harry yelled as he turned around again and stormed out of the hospital wing, past the fighting brunette and red-head, towards the great hall.

It wasn't long before Harry heard Hermione's gentle voice calling after him, asking, "What's wrong, Harry? Slow down, we can't catch up!"

He reluctantly made his feet stop by their nearly empty table. He looked to his hands balled into fists so tight that his knuckles shown as white as Draco's feathery hair. He snarled,

"That right snob! He's a nasty prick and we should be hexing his bed to fall apart in his nasty-vomit-green room right now!"

He heard the smile in Ron's voice as he backed up, "Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout! Yeah!"

Hermione glared to Ron, then to Harry and implored, "What's wrong? What happened?"

Harry turned to her and explained, "He's being a prat again…dunno what happened, it's as if he doesn't remember seeing me last week or anything…"

"Well…maybe he doesn't. Maybe it's a side-effect of all the medicating potions and stuff. Plus, he just lost his father, he's in a rough spot." Hermione tried to reason.

Harry looked away from her; she didn't get it. This wasn't how today was supposed to start. It wasn't supposed to be frustrating or confusing. Not like every other day of his life, this was supposed to be only happiness and relief. He released his fists and muttered,

"I just…I mean…you saw the way he acted with me last week…" Harry turned to look her in the eyes, "I just sort of hoped…that…I might get to know him better now."

Hermione sighed, "You know, Harry…sometimes…sometimes in our lives there are just…constants. Draco Malfoy…will always be a jerk, Harry."

Harry looked to her from the corner of his eyes, nearly wincing at her choice of words. She continued, "Ron and I will always be here for you, Harry. That's a constant, just like Draco Malfoy. He will always have that undying, childish loathing for you. He's just…not part of our destiny, Harry."

"Destiny?" Harry inquired.

"Ron, you, me…Voldemort, Dumbledore and…everyone…I mean, it just seems like we were bound to find each other. Like it was fate…Draco Malfoy has a different fate, Harry. One that's not entwined with any of ours." Hermione explained.

Harry frowned, "I don't know, Herm. I don't think it's that simple. I don't think you can say "it will be" or "it won't be" when it comes to people…"

Hermione's eyes told him she was not wavering in her opinions, so he sighed and told the two, "You know…I'm not really hungry, I'm just gonna go take a walk for now."

Ron nodded as did Hermione and he successfully made it out of the Great Hall without hesitation. He descended moving stairs and narrow halls until he found himself near the lake. He finally slowed his pace once his racing thoughts calmed and comprehended where he was. He looked to the tranquil waters and wondered if the glassy look was so restful because the war was finally over. Harry hadn't tried thinking about the war. He tried not to think about the people he failed to save. He tried not to think about the weapons he could have used, all of the mistakes he could have corrected. It was the past now and there was nothing he could do about it. He simply wanted to start moving on. His wish to move on, though, was halted by Draco's egotistical attitude. Why did he have to talk to Harry that way? What was he trying to hide? Harry found it odd that his brain accused Draco immediately of hiding. Perhaps this was Draco's true self. Perhaps he had nothing else to offer Harry.

"_That's because you don't know the real Draco Malfoy! You never saw how he cried or how he screamed and writhed in pain! You never saw when he tried to protect your pride, your side of the story, your fate! You never saw him being kind or gentle, you never saw how broken he was because you were too distracted with the charade he put on to cover up all the pain!"_

No. Harry knew there was a side he didn't know. There was something that impassioned Pansy Parkinson, there was something deep inside Draco Malfoy that warped a young girl into a tragic love that could only offer her heart break. Harry wanted to know what. The curiosity was eating away at him and he needed to know more, but he was scared to ask. He didn't want to investigate to find a dead end. He wouldn't be able to cope with that kind of disappointment. Not when there may be a friend in what was once an enemy. Not when there was hope in faithlessness, not when there may be light in darkness. He had to know if he had mistaken black for white, danger for safety, fear for bravery, pain for strength or hate for love. He needed to know, he needed answers.

"Are you okay?"

Harry looked behind him to see the young lady he had just been thinking of. He smiled sadly,

"Yeah. I'm fine."

She looked to the water and told him, "You know he's…small."

Harry cocked a brow, "Small?"

She smiled, "Yes…he really…uhm…only speaks when spoken to. At home, anyway."

She chuckled and added, "Because you know well enough that he loves starting scenes when you're around."

Harry breathed a laugh and agreed, "Yes, he's made that quite clear."

She laughed quietly for a moment before looking back at Harry and inquiring, "I think…you make him…want to…change."

Harry blushed lightly, "What do you mean?"

"I mean…I think…that maybe…he wants you to come and open him up." She connected her sad eyes with Harry's, explaining, "I think that he might really want you, Harry, to be the one who he reveals himself to."

Harry rolled his eyes, "Somehow I doubt that."

She sighed, "How long are you going to act like this?"

Harry wanted to snap some aggravated comeback, but at the desolate look in her face he found himself shoving his foot in his mouth. She told him,

"I know that he honors you with a type of respect that from a Malfoy…well…it's shocking. I know he cares a lot more about you than he's willing to show."

Harry looked away, trying to explain, "You know, Pansy…sometimes…there are…constants in our lives…people we're destined to be with and others we're…not."

Before he could complete his lazy lesson she told him, "I think we all meet people for a reason."

Harry's eyes widened a bit as he turned back to her and implored, "A reason?"

She nodded, telling him, "I think…that people come into our lives, bringing a lesson we must learn and we are somehow led to those who will help us most to grow…if we let them, and I think we teach them something as well. I think…I think Draco was destined to meet you, I think it was fate that made him hug you, that made him worry about you…I think you should keep trying to open him up, because if you can't…"

Harry waited in suspense as she laughed softly, finishing, "Well…if you can't help…the rest of us are fucked."

Harry was at first appalled by the girl's foul language, but she must have wanted to be taken seriously about it. He looked away again, mumbling, "What if…he decides he doesn't want my help."

She laughed, "I don't think you can see it, Harry, but he will never let me in."

Harry's chest contracted, his heart wrenching. He felt a great pity for the girl. She was enamored, infatuated with a cold, emotionally unavailable, stone statue. Harry wished Draco would simply open up to her, show her kindness and gentle love to ease her punctured, pained ego and heart. He asked softly,

"Are you asking me to do this for you?"

She smiled with sadly curved brows as she looked out at the water again. He followed her gaze, looking for something that may have grabbed her attention away. There wasn't anything to be seen, though. The sun was slowly setting over the watery horizon; it was a misty grey sky in which the sun could barely be spotted. It had rained a lot that week, explaining why the clouds were so portentous. Then it stuck Harry more clearly than Cedric's body hitting the ground. He realized why she was so ensnared by the sky and ocean; they were Draco's eyes. The metallic shine of great light crawling out onto the water, peeping out at spaces in between the gunmetal clouds, it screamed Draco Malfoy to her. It reminded her subtly and secretly of her undying love for him. A love that would never be returned. Harry's heart squirmed again when she returned her look to him and replied,

"I'm asking you to do this for him."

He felt ridiculous asking, but proceeded, "How will…how will I know when he opens up?"

She smiled sweetly again, "You'll know, Potter. There's this spark in his eyes, it's kind of misty, but it's poetic and inspiring. It's beautiful. His voice gets real soft, nearly silent and you find yourself straining to hear his words, but it's still a heart-wrenching melody when it escapes his lips. I think you'll find it as stunning as I do."

He simpered, "You really love him, don't you?"

She bowed her head a little, looking up from under her lashes as she simply said, "He startles me and makes my blood feel weird, but I like it. No one in the world could replace him. His aura excites me and his smile electrocutes me…without a wand or whisper…" Her teary eyes looked all the way into Harry's, "he leaves me spellbound."

Harry tried to smile, but he wasn't sure if he was as successful as he had hoped to be. She bowed her head again and muttered some parting words. Harry's head was pounding with more questions, but the first thing that splurred from him was, "Wait!"

She looked back to him from a few feet away as he finished, "I…I think you're wonderful too."

She clearly blushed, somewhat surprised by the small compliment. She smiled nervously, girlishly before bowing her head in thanks and walking away. Harry watched her back and hoped she would keep giving 

him those uplifting pieces of information when he was in doubt. They reassured him that good was in everyone. After a war like the last, that was something he really needed.


	3. Out of All the People I've Known

**Chapter three :D Hope you guys like it! Thank you all so much for all and any reviews thus far, it's so so so so appreciated! Hope you all enjoy the latest chapter!**

"I'm so glad you're all alive, now open up to page six hundred and forty four."

They all groaned; Severus Snape hadn't changed a bit. He still slurred evilly with every syllable pricking at egos. He still moved like a snake, his glare still as freezing, but Harry was glad that Snape hadn't been working for Voldemort. He was happy to learn of Snape's protection over him. Knowing what he knew now made Snape's lectures and insults more endearing than irritating. Harry thought him to be some kind of outward beast with a kitten's heart; the very idea made Harry chuckle.

He opened up his textbook and passed a note from under the table to Ron. Hermione spotted the red-head laughing and mouthed discipline to them. Ron seemed to be having issues keeping his laughter subtle and found himself silently laughing hysterically. His cheeks were a vibrant, Gryffindor red, his eyes scrunched up and teary with his pale hand covering his clenching teeth. The moment Snape's attention fell on him would mean the end of their flawless trading system beneath their tables.

"Vampires, Professor Snape?" Hermione implored.

Ron passed the note back to Harry, it read; Bet you he's Dracula; think he sleeps in a coffin?

Harry smiled and began writing a response as Snape answered, "Yes, Ms. Granger, vampires are more sophisticated creatures of darkness, but what I would like to talk about is the venom found in their teeth, not the creatures themselves."

Ron felt the note hit against his leg (it's been floating back and forth between them), so he grabbed it and opened it, it read; More like Frankenstein; do you think he showers?

Harry bit his tongue to keep from laughing at the sight of Ron's reluctant laughter. Hermione's voice still peaked through,

"Are they really considered creatures even though they're so human-like?"

Ron wrote a response sending it back to Harry as Snape's monotone voice continued, "They are considered creatures because they are not human. This does not mean, Ms. Granger that they are inferior to us, it means they are different and in this case, dangerous. If you want more information on magical creatures I suggest you approach your magical creature professor on the matter rather than bringing irrelevant inquiries into my classroom and if Mr. Weasley and Mr. Potter do not cease their antics this moment there will be astronomic points deducted from their house."

Their laughter abruptly ended, fear striking down their spines as Harry hid the note behind his back, setting it on fire with a tap of his wand and a whispered spell. It was nonexistent only moments later. Snape perked a brow and turned around again, "Now, can anyone tell me what vampire's venom is used for?"

On cue, Hermione's hand shot up into the air, but surprisingly she was not the only one. Harry look to his left and on the Slytherin's side of the room, Draco Malfoy's pallid arm stuck high into the air, demonstrating his proud and self-certain attitude that was consistently found in Malfoy blood. The blonde flicked his chin up, trying to brush his parted platinum bangs from his eyes, only to find that they fell back into place. He scowled, but the glare that seemed self-directed was broken and melted into nothingness when Snape called on him. Draco replied simply,

"Veritaserum."

"Elaborate." Snape commanded softly.

Draco sighed, continuing, "It's a potion that forces the drinker to tell the truth no matter what the question or answer may be. 'Parently it first started in the Ministry. Not that that's a surprise."

A few classmates chuckled, but Harry was captured by Draco's sunset eyes. They really were the sun over the lake, the thunder and lightning of a stormy night, melted silver and dark gunmetal. They were beautifully grey, troubled eyes. Harry wanted to know the torment, he wanted to know the pain and agony Draco knew. He wondered how much stronger Draco was than him. He wondered how awesomely Draco deserved every ounce of Harry's respect and admiration. And perhaps sympathy. Harry very suddenly heard Draco's distinct, annoyed voice pierce, "What are you looking at, Potter?"

Harry blushed, looking away and avoiding the stares of Ron and Hermione. Snape's voice interrupted their intent gazes, though,

"Now, for partners. Seeing as Mr. Weasley and Mr. Potter may be plagued with some misconception that they will be working together, I've decided to see to it that there are assigned partners. Weasley, you're annoying and frankly, you're failing. I'm teaming you with Ms. Granger to up your grade and if I don't see you working don't expect any credit whatsoever."

Ron groaned; Hermione was always a hard partner to match up to. Ron never did seem bothered by in-class humiliations such as bad grades being announced. Ron was probably much more concerned with how he'll keep from killing the brunette while working with her than actually accomplishing anything. Snape continued on a list of partners until he finally proclaimed, "And Malfoy…you're with Potter."

Harry saw the dismay and sickly shade of green wash over Draco's face as the blonde snapped,

"Outrageous! I demand another partner this instant or my fa-" Draco cut himself off from his favorite line. There was no father to consult anymore, to complain to or kiss up to. The blonde's perfect, boyish face shrunk back into a cross of anger and sadness as he mumbled some colorful words. Snape didn't act on his unfinished sentence, probably feeling just as uncomfortable as the rest of the class. Harry picked up his books and moved beside the pale boy, smiling weakly.

"'Lo, Draco."

"Shut up, Potter."

Harry glared, "Don't start it up just because I greeted you."

"It has nothing to do with you greeting me."

"So?"

"It's the very fact that you even dare to exist."

Harry scoffed, "You are so immature, Malfoy."

"And you're repulsive, but we all have our crosses to bear, Potter. You'll understand when you're older."

Harry felt the blood rising into his head; murder was in the air. The ebony-haired boy sharply turned to his textbook, opening to the assigned page. Harry tried to clear the angry auras between them by mentioning, "So ehm…do you know how we'll be getting the venom?"

Draco very slowly looked to the Golden Boy, a lazy and condescending look on his face as he sighed,

"Yes, Potter. I have my garlic and crucifixes right in my bag, gimme a minute."

Harry rolled his eyes, "That's to ward them off, not to lure them in."

"Will they work on you?"

Harry scowled, "What is your problem? I'm being completely normal to you and you're being a prat!"

Draco sat up straight, his voice taking on a new tone, "Yeah? And what are you gonna do about it, Potter?"

Harry contemplated standing up and possibly shoving his foot into Draco's rain cloud eyes. Or perhaps hexing him until the blonde was completely covered in boils and painful rashes. Or maybe Harry wouldn't move at all, just take his leg to the leg of Draco's chair and send him falling to his boney little ass. These options all meant, though, that he would be feeding Draco's hunger. Draco's hunger to set him off. He wouldn't please Draco no matter what, he wouldn't give in until he was at wits end. He couldn't let Draco work him up, he couldn't give him that satisfaction. That knowledge that he got inside his head.

"I'm going to ignore it and do my work."

Draco glowered as Harry turned his attention back to the typed pages before him. He read one of the side passages which described what many vampires appeared as;

"Male vampires have been highly documented as dark-haired (black, brown or dark reds) creatures with no irises, or black ones. Female vampires are more likely to be light-haired (blonde or white) with much longer canine teeth than the males. The females are known to appear paler and thinner than the more muscularly-toned males."

Harry looked to Draco, unable to resist the urge to start a fight, "Draco, I think we may learn a bit about you."

Draco leaned over, shortly reading the passage, but to Harry's wonderment Draco's finger moved across the page to another paragraph titled "The Fire Rat's Dirt Kingdom" as he snorted, "Too bad we haven't gotten to your section yet."

Harry's half-lidded eyes moved dangerously to Draco's as he muttered, "Very funny."

"I know, people think it's hard to do, but it comes so naturally to me."

Harry was exactly two seconds away from knocking Draco's teeth out, so he looked away to his work again. Harry found, though, that his concentration level was pathetic this day. Concern washed over him; was Draco going to be okay? His attitude, his bate for arguments may be a cry for help or perhaps it was simply his way of coping. Harry glanced back to the platinum blonde and found himself once again ensnared by his smoky eyes. They were dark tornados twisting in and out of Harry's soul, winding in and winding through, creating a labyrinth of grey web within him. The foggy eyes were all Harry could see, all he could hear or comprehend. They were the only real thing in that moment.

Harry watched in horror as said eyes connected with his, but Harry found himself bolted. He had never noticed but all this time there was this weight on his shoulders, but it was somehow lifted when Draco looked into his eyes. A weight he had never known was there; he had felt all alone. Harry had felt completely alone in this castle of thousands, until that moment. When he looked into Draco's rainy eyes, glassy and spine-tingling cool, he felt that perhaps he wasn't completely alone.

That perhaps Draco was there while no one else was. There was a magic erupting from deep inside Harry's chest, a sort of tug or thrust at his ribcage and his mind was racing with thoughts he couldn't remember. Every time he tried to remember the one that had just passed it drifted further from his reach and was instantaneously replaced with a new thought that he would chase. The tips of his fingers had pins and needles while his feet felt restless, but no matter how his body reacted he couldn't move his stare from Draco's beautifully grey eyes. The silver stare had captured him; left him spellbound.

"…Potter?"

Harry snapped back into reality, "S-sorry? What?"

"Stay on Earth, Potter, I'm not failing because you were busy gawking."

Harry blushed and defended, "I-I was not gawking!"

"Yes you were, I know what I saw."

Harry rolled his eyes with a scoff, "You can't know what you see when you don't know what you feel."

"What I feel?!" Draco snapped, "What would you know about my feelings, Potter?!"

"Enough to know that you don't have any!" Harry spat.

Draco sat up straight, a mutiny shining in his brilliant eyes, "Dare to say that again, prick?"

"You're the prick here, Malfoy, all I ever am is polite to you-"

"Oh," Draco cut him off, "except for that time you killed my father, but again, that was only once."

Harry snarled, "You told me you forgave me!"

"How could I forgive you for killing my father?!"

"I don't effing know! You're the one who said it, you tell me!"

"You're just making shit up because the Golden Boy can't be out of the center of attention for a minute, can he?"

"What?!"

"You know it, just admit it, you're worried that the Chosen Boy's thunder is over now that the war's ended!"

Harry's face filled with blood, "You're just jealous because you'll never be as strong as me!"

"Jealous?!" He laughed, "Yeah, that'll be the day, Scarhead, I'd rather be a spider or a rat than you, you ugly attention-whore!"

"Potter! Malfoy!" Snape's voice pierced.

It was then that Harry realized he was standing in a fighting stance right before Draco Malfoy. The blonde's infuriated gaze was troubling Harry; what made him crack so easily? Harry shook the thought away; he was too aggravated to deal with it right now. He looked to Snape and awaited the proclamation of his immanent doom. The tall, serpentine professor looked almost concerned for Malfoy; the teacher could probably see through to all the struggle. Harry thought that maybe Snape even saw the pain. The pain Harry so wished to know.

"What is going on here?"

Draco opened his mouth and told him with poison dripping from his words, "Potter has decided to test a, frankly stupid and meaningless, psychoanalyses on my beautiful mind without my consent."

Snape cocked a brow and for the first time in history, the man looked to Harry and ventured,

"Is this right, Mr. Potter?"

Harry swallowed; why? Why the first time Harry has done something where he wasn't completely a victim did Snape ask for Harry's side? Harry sighed, though, clearly disappointed with the events of the last few minutes as he told him,

"Ehm…I suppose in a harsh, exaggerated type way, yes he's right."

Snape nodded solemnly and announced, "Well, then twenty points deducted from both of your houses and you'll be serving detention for me for the next two weeks."

The groaned in unison until Draco slurred, "Surely you mean Harry, though."

The professor sighed, "Yes. Along with yourself, Mr. Malfoy."

Draco threw himself back in his chair like the spoiled prince he was, his lightning eyes glaring off to nowhere. Snape told them, "I have a plan for the two of you."

"A plan?" Draco implored anxiously.

Snape looked down at him, telling him, "Yes. You see, Mr. Malfoy, it takes a common goal for people to communicate."

"…what?" Harry asked.

Snape rolled his eyes, explaining, "When people have a common interest or goal they find common ground, meaning these two or several people can sit down and have a conversation in which they connect. Emotional connection is key to communication and communication is key to a relationship."

"…what kind of relationship?" Draco murmured.

"Any civil one. After all, if you don't try you won't see them and if you don't see them, you can't possibly ever see how they feel. Isn't that right, Mr. Potter?" Snape moved his gaze to the charcoal-haired boy.

Harry sneered, "And what if you already know how they feel?"

"You can't know how they feel unless you ask and listen, can you Potter? And the only way to ask questions and receive answers are when you communicate. And to communicate takes patience, bravery and most importantly, connection."

Harry blushed at the thought of any of those words befitting a relationship between himself and Draco Malfoy. Harry inquired, "But I have none of those things with him."

Draco snorted, "You can say that again."

"Didn't hear it the first time, prat?"

"I'm sorry, I don't speak obnoxious."

"Yeah, retards usually have a hard time translating."

"Boys."

"Yeah, real mature, Potter."

"Boys."

"I know, some people say it's hard maintaining awesome intelligence and social skills while being a hero to millions, but it's just so organic when it comes to me."

"Boys."

"At least I'm modest about how amazing I am."

"Boys."

"In your dreams, Malfoy."

"Boys."

"You pickin' a fight, Potter?"

"Boys."

"I'd knock you out in ten seconds, Malfoy."

"Boys."

"That's nine more seconds than I need."

"BOYS!"

They looked to the frustrated professor as he glowered and snapped, "Potions lab. Nine tonight. You better come prepared because we clearly have a lot of work ahead of us. I want you out of my classroom for now. I can't come here breaking you two up every five minutes."

"Yes sir." They replied in sync.

Harry moved his intent gaze back to Draco's angry eyes. They stayed there for a moment; Draco glaring from his seat to the Golden Boy and said boy once again captured by his icy eyes. Life had slowly been melting back to normal for Harry as of late. Nothing was out of the ordinary as it had been during the war and for a week or so after, but then something happened. While they remained looking infuriated with one another Draco mumbled three words that would forever haunt Harry's mind, send him spinning down a black hole within himself that Draco's stormy eyes and weaved themselves, tainting his soul and squeezing his heart, cutting him from air…

Those seemingly dead, silver eyes were short slits of loathing as he said nearly inaudibly, "I hate you."


	4. I've Really Been On a Bender

**Kind of shorter than usual, but I'll probably be updating tomorrow as well, so I hope you all like your new chapter. And again, thank you to all adds, PMs and reviews; I appreciate it so much.**

"What an ass." Ron sneered.

"Ronald, he's having a hard time, don't be cruel!" Hermione scolded.

Harry rolled his eyes, "No, it's my fault too. You can't blame him completely."

"Harry, don't say that. You sound like Herm." Ron chuckled.

Hermione glared to the red-head, "What's wrong with that?"

Ron's laughter immediately died out as he stuttered, "N-nothing."

She huffed and turned back to Harry, staging her face back into an expression that was kind and gentle.

"I think you're wonderfully fair about it." She complimented.

Harry nodded and sighed. Hermione was still determined to cheer him up; "Well…Harry, think about it this way; perhaps you'll get to learn something about him that you didn't know before."

"Like, that he's a bigger prick than we could have ever imagined." Ron interjected.

Harry chuckled softly, "Probably."

Hermione glared to the both of them, crossing her arms childishly and snapping, "Fine! You both are so insensitive!"

Ron laughed, "We're no insensitive, 'Mione, we're just sane."

"Harry?"

The trio looked to the corner of the hall where Pansy stood. She was looking much better nowadays; Harry predicted it had a lot to do with the fact that Draco was healthy enough to start fights again. Her short black hair had light green ribbons entwined in her small braids, her tiny ears decorated in silver beads and two diamonds on either ear. Her thin lips were glossed and pinkish, her eyes containing a girlish spark, while her very thin physique was hugged in her uniform. She smiled, noting that she had captured Harry's attention as she inquired, "Could I talk to you, please?"

Harry looked to the other two and they nodded positively. The two of them probably wouldn't talk to her regularly, considering how awkward and sorry they felt when they were around her. Unrequited love really did clear out a room fast; so uncomfortable. Harry was walking beside her for a while until she stopped and said, "He doesn't laugh."

"…sorry?"

She looked to him, smiling sadly, "Not like he used to."

Harry's brows furrowed in concern as he requested, "Ehm…can you tell me when you knew you were in love with him?"

She blushed lightly, looking to the side for a moment, "I suppose…when I saw his eyes."

Harry immediately asked, "Love at first sight?"

She shook her head, "No, not really…I mean…the first time I really saw them…I hope someday…you'll know what I'm talking about."

Harry didn't know how to reply, so he decided to say nothing at all. He waited a moment before inquiring, "Uhm…did you need to ask me something?"

She smiled, "Oh yeah…ehm…I've got…an offer for you."

"What offer?"

She looked to him, wondering aloud as if daydreaming loudly, "What if I told you that you could watch every movement, hear every word and feel every touch of Draco until you knew him backwards and forwards without an drop of Veritaserum."

Harry grinned, "Well, I'd absolutely adore you."

She laughed cutely; Harry was learning to find the petite Slytherin very endearing. She replied,

"Alright, well then, Harry…I've been making a…polyjuice potion…"

"Ehm…okay."

"And you see…well…" She trailed off for a few seconds until she returned with, "it's very nearly finished…it'll be finished by Christmas break…which is in about three weeks, so I was thinking…well…I was going to use it for something else, but I thought that since I go to the Malfoy Manor for all the vacations…" She moved her eyes to his as she finished, "I thought maybe you'd like to go in my place."

Harry's face erased any evidence of color as he asked incredulously, "Are you serious?!"

"Very much so. Believe it or not, Potter…I've kind of grown to like you. I'd really like to give you this experience…maybe he'd…I don't know…maybe you'd be able to reach him."

Harry was flabbergasted, inquiring, "Do you realize I'm dead if he finds out it's me?!"

She pouted, "Well I've made more than enough to supply you for the week that we're off."

Harry's jaw was dropped; unable to form anything coherent. He calmed his twitching jaw as he formed his question, "W-when would I be…uhm…turning into you?"

She looked around as if the answer were somewhere floating above her head until she answered,

"I suppose the night that he's leaving. You'll board the train with him as me and I'll stay at the castle for the break; lie low."

Harry's mind was racing with blankness…could this really work?

"Uhm…a-alright…I'll talk about it with Ron and Hermione…see if they'll cover for me."

She grinned, "That's good, then."

Harry nodded, "Alright…I'll get back to you sometime tonight or something, then."

She agreed and gave some parting words before Harry turned on his heel and began walking back to his friends; eager for their opinions. Harry was frozen, though, when he heard Pansy call after him. He turned back to her and asked, "Yes?"

She looked to her feet, something akin to sadness or guilt etched on her face as she told him,

"I just…if you decide to…I have to tell you before I forget…no matter what, no one goes in Draco's room when he's alone in there."

"Alone? Then what-"

"When he goes in there and locks the door it means he's crying. He wouldn't want me walking in on that. He wouldn't want anyone walking in on that."

Harry's eyes widened, "…how do you know he's crying if you don't go in there?"

"Extendable ears."

"…ehm…very well. Thanks, Pansy…I'll get back to you soon."

She smiled and nodded before walking off. Harry was only two steps closer to the corner when she called after him again. He turned, "Yes?"

She blushed, clearly embarrassed about making him stop so much as she told him,

"Uhm…you're pretty wonderful too, Potter."

Harry smiled, his eyes lightening as she turned away and he strode back to his feuding friends.

"Sanity has a lot to do with sympathy, Ronald!"

"Not when it comes to Malfoy!"

"Guys, shut up for a minute." Harry breathed, catching up to them.

Hermione looked to him with a perked brow as she implored, "What's going on, Harry?"

Harry smiled, "Pansy…she's a bright one."

"Alright boys, come this way."

Draco wouldn't give Harry the slightest glance, not that Harry was being much more reasonable. Snape was guiding them through some corridors neither recognized until they reached a door much alike to that of the Room of Requirements. Harry looked to the professor as the man directed, "Go in."

The boys stepped in the room; it was a gigantic ballroom with marble and pastel colors, but it was completely unfurnished. Draco looked to the teacher and inquired,

"And what are we supposed to do with this?"

Snape's stoic, unreadable face remained in that fashion as he stated simply, "Get along."

"What?"

"A common goal." Harry said softly.

Snape nodded, "Indeed, Mr. Potter."

"What's the goal, though?"

"That's for you to figure out." Snape slurred as he left the room and distinctly locked the door behind his cloak.

Draco walked further into the room, placing his hands on his sides before starting, "Well this is fabulous."

"At least we're not cleaning up the gunk Neville leaves behind in the potions lab." Harry tried to lighten up the dread.

The blonde scoffed, "Don't speak, Potter."

"Well I'm the only person you could have directed that to, so-"

"Yes, well when I'm speaking in general you can assume I mean everyone and everything beside you."

"You 'do' realize I'm not 'actually' a Fire Rat, right?" Harry joked, secretly wanting to punch the boy.

"Could have fooled me. In any case, you're a speck of insignificant life, like a dead owl or a dust bunny, so I normally brush you aside from my thoughts towards actual people."

Harry cracked his knuckles in his fists, trying hard to stay calm as he implored, "Do you think you could just work with me on this to get out of here?"

Draco finally turned to Harry, snapping, "No. No, Potter, I don't think I can."

"Draco, the two of us are smart, we can do it if we just cooperate."

"No, Potter, it's got nothing to do with 'if' I can do it. I know full well that I am far more capable than you at most everything, so if you think you can, what cause for concern do I have?" Draco paused to appreciate the frustrated look on Harry's face before continuing, "It has nothing to do with my capability, only my willingness and the likeliness of me actually working with you, you dirty prick, is…well, to keep you on the same miniscule-brained page, it's not likely."

Harry stepped forward, defending, "Look, Malfoy, I don't know what your problem is, but we're not getting out until we at least figure out what the goal is!"

Malfoy ventured a step further as his voice sounded, "No, Potter, 'you' can figure out whatever the fuck you want, I want absolutely nothing to do with you, okay? So you just leave me alone and I'll treat you with the same respect."

"Malfoy!" Harry started as he stepped closer, "What the hell is your issue with me!?"

Draco's face became a frightening shade of angry red as he stormed towards Harry, three steps more as he fought, "My issue? My issue?! My ISSUE, Potter, with YOU is probably, oh, I don't know, probably just the FACT THAT YOU MURDERED MY FATHER!"

Harry stepped forward again matching his volume, "YOU forgave ME!"

Draco laughed morbidly before returning to the argument, "I could never forgive you! You fucking lying, attention-obsessed, life-ruining, selfish, nosey fucking bastard! Everyone always gave you exactly what you've wanted, you always got exactly what you needed! You haven't worked for a single thing on your own! You always have to be number one! You always have to be the savior! You're just a freak with a scar on your fucking head, what the fuck's so special about you!? I fucking hate you! I loathe every inch of you from the top of your rat's-nest hair to the nasty-ripped soles of your shoes with each and every fiber and cell in my entire body!" Draco stopped to catch his breath; Harry had discovered, though, that he could not move as Draco finished in a breathy voice, "I hate you."

Harry would have dwelled or his harsh words had they not been followed with an intimidated sound. Harry cocked a brow as Draco stepped forward harshly, muttering, "What the…"

They looked around, only to find that the walls had been closing in on them. Draco looked to Harry,

"See what you've done?"

The walls pushed into Draco and Harry more before Harry concluded, "They must move in the more we fight…"

"Yeah, thanks Professor Apparent."

The walls closed in more before Harry snapped, "Stop fighting with me, Draco!"

"Don't tell me what to do, I'll fight with whoever the fuck I want to!"

The walls pushed more, creating a space of four inches between the boys. They stood glaring at each other, a rage and destruction shining in their eyes. Harry's eyes were his vibrant jade like an irate, tropical ocean determined to leave an island in ruins as they glowered into Draco's catastrophic irises. They were a horrifying thunderstorm, upsetting the sunset and lake into miles of murky fog that passed through the smoke of burning buildings. Harry tried to see deeper into them, tried to find a passion other than the one that so wanted to wring Harry's neck. He wanted to see so badly those eyes Pansy saw. He wanted to see it more desperately than he had wanted…well…he couldn't quite remember wanting something as terribly as he wanted this.

"Potter…"

"Yes?"

"You're disgusting."

The walls tightened, successfully crushing their bodies together in painful agony. Harry cringed at the pressure on his chest, the wind nearly knocked out of him as he muttered, "Are you alright, Malfoy?"

"Alright?! AM I BLOODY ALRIGHT DID YOU JUST EFFING ASK ME?! I—"

"SHUT UP OR WE'LL BE CRUSHED!"

The walls gripped again, causing them both to curse sharply. Draco's chin was hovering right above Harry's shoulder as Harry's rested on the opposite blade of Draco. The Golden Boy could smell the sweet aroma of the blonde's platinum hair and in all the terrible vibes, it was somewhat pleasant.

"Are you falling asleep, Potter?!"

The ebony-haired boy's eyes were nearly shut as he mumbled, "Not falling asleep as losing consciousness…"

Draco sighed and started ranting about what a bother it was, but as the walls pressed further onto their weakened and emotionally exhausted bodies, Draco was silenced. The blonde heard the rhythmic, slow breathing of a dreamer, so he simply sighed and announced to no one, "Fine…go to sleep, then…"

Draco moved his cheek a moment, accidently brushing against Harry's mess of silky black hair. The Slytherin noted reluctantly that although the hair was a mess, it was not a rat's nest. That it was wonderfully soft and controlled. Draco let his head finally collapse onto the Golden Boy's shoulder as he mumbled, "Night…Potter."


	5. Just Say You'll Wait For Me

**Sorry for taking so long to update; hope you guys like your new chapter :D**

"I had a nightmare about that once."

"Ronald, you never let up on him, do you?"

Harry laughed, "Ron, you've had nightmares about waking up with Malfoy on top of you?"

Ron blushed lightly, defending, "No! No…not like that. You weirdo."

Harry just laughed again as Hermione protested, "You're both cruel and unusual."

"Cruel?" Ron scoffed.

"Yes! He's been terrible, it's true, but you're stooping right back to his level! You're so stubborn!"

Ron shrugged, "It's part of my undying charm."

Hermione glared, "You aggravate me beyond coherent words."

"Hermione? Being incoherent? I don't believe it." Harry gasped dramatically.

The girl rolled her eyes, "So you wake up with him on top of you every morning…how does he act?"

Harry told her, "Well, ever since the first morning after detention he acts angry and unprepared. I mean, he knows what the goal is, and even though getting along in general seems like a simple task, it's not easy for him. He's really pissed. Really pissed. Not that I can blame him…after what I've done…"

Harry paused to sigh, "Anyway, I'm sorry I haven't talked to you guys a lot lately. It's just every morning starts with being crunched up against Malfoy, bruised and in excruciating pain, then being yelled at by Snape, then classes, homework, detention and the vicious cycle continues…at least tonight's the last night, then break."

"Yeah…uhm…about that, Harry…you're really…uhm…going to go to Malfoy Manor?" Hermione inquired.

Ron interjected, "Yeah, Harry…are you sure we can…I mean…you really trust Pansy?"

Harry was a bit taken back, but still walked alongside his two friends with a cool and collect stride as he replied, "Well…of course I do. I mean…tonight I'll be turning into her. She has to trust me not to take advantage of her body and her personal life just as I have to trust her with my safety."

"No…I mean…you don't think she'll just…poison you instead, right?" Ron asked stupidly.

Hermione opened her mouth to scold the red-head about prejudice, most likely, but was silenced as Harry spoke before she did, "She wouldn't poison me, Ron. She just wants to see if I can get him to be emotionally available to her."

Ron looked away, "I dunno, Harry…it's all a bit…sudden, don't you think?"

"Well, Lucius's death was rather sudden too, don't you think?" Harry answered.

"What?"

"Well…it only took me a second to kill Malfoy's father…and it took that like…half hour for Pansy to break down about her love for Draco…it's all sudden. It's all sudden cause we're working off instinct, Ron. None of this can be planned. And…I mean…it only takes a few kind words from Malfoy and Pansy's in a puddle on the floor…it's all…it's all in an instant."

"Well," Hermione began, "I think this will be a wonderful experience. I think you're going to learn a lot about the Malfoy family."

Ron suddenly looked much more lively as they entered the Great Hall, his smiling face leaned over, looking to Harry as he added, "Oh yeah, I almost forgot, Fred and George wanna know if Malfoy's mum's gone loopy over everything. Ya gotta tell me if she's up there crying all day and whatnot, they'll be dyin' to know all vacation!"

Hermione's face contorted into a horrified expression as she snapped, "RON! The Malfoy's loss is tragic and shouldn't be nosed into by you and your pea-brained brothers!"

Ron's familiar scowl grew on his face as he muttered, "My brothers are geniuses, 'Mione, you of all people should be able to recognize that. Plus, they just want to see if Malfoy's getting what he deserves."

"Oh, and what does he deserve exactly, Ronald?" Hermione spat.

Ron recited as if a memorized monologue, "Well…I'm thinking something along the lines of a life filled with misery and misfortune, constantly in pain and suffering while following a life-path that will spiral into loneliness only to end in an ocean of alcoholic self-pity."

"…"

"Where he will die a slow, painful, agonizing death. Preferably by a gaggle of faeries. That way we can still laugh at his funeral. Then we will dance."

"RON!"

Ron laughed manically, but Harry found himself staring off to the Slytherin table. The blonde was sitting with his friends as they ate in silence, but Harry had noticed that since he exited the Hospital Wing and comprehended his father's death, that he hadn't eaten. Sure, he would nibble here and there, but there weren't any meals actually in his day. The Draco Malfoy Harry knew so well had gone away. The Draco Malfoy that he had known for the past five years was proud and self-assured, confident with a Slytherin-God complex. This, though. This was something entirely different. Harry couldn't quite tell what it was, 

but it certainly wasn't the Draco Malfoy he knew. Harry had failed to acknowledge if that was a good or bad thing, though.

"I suppose we'll just pray that detention isn't too long for you two." Hermione stated as Ron and Harry sat across from her.

"Yeah, mate…I'll miss you over break, but the juicy details will be worth it." Ron piped.

Hermione glowered to the freckled boy, "Ron, honestly."

Ron made a nasty face and mimicked, "WON, ONUSSLY"

Harry could see the anger burning in her eyes as Harry fought off a chuckle; the two were so cute, after all. Harry could hardly keep from laughing, they were just so clearly made for each other. Harry wished that all things were that clear. That Draco Malfoy's foggy eyes would clear so Harry could see the road ahead, so they he could see the sun and the water. So that he could see his soul, his fire, his song and heart. He wanted to clear away all that smoke so the blonde's eyes could breathe into Harry's, so Harry could see through the lies and hold onto the truth. So the blonde could look into his jade eyes and Harry could return that gaze. Return it to truth.

"I'll miss you guys too." Harry mumbled as they fought louder.

Not that Harry was against it. This was home after all, Harry wouldn't have it any other way.

()

Snape was eyeing the boys from under his dark hair as he muttered, "I will be back soon. I know you two have to pack and finished last minute homework to leave on tomorrow's train, so you won't be spending the night. I'll be back in exactly two hours. Try again."

With that, they were alone for the umpteenth time of the last two weeks. Draco walked further into the room, as he did every night. He looked around, but rather than turning around and snorting some offensive insult, he sat. Harry watched as he simply lowered his body down onto the marble floor, sitting Indian-style while holding his ankles, staring blankly ahead.

"Are you okay?" Harry implored with concern flowing from his words.

The blonde didn't answer, just sat looking blankly ahead. Harry admired his cobble-street eyes. They were snowy and ice cold, the blade of a katana slicing through Harry's heart leaving imprints and fossils of tropical storms. They were beautiful. Harsh, unfeeling, perhaps dead, but beautiful all the same. A stone statue, stoic and unmoving. Forever.

"Are you-" Harry was cut off by the boy stating,

"Tired."

Harry paused, "…what?"

"Tired. Tired, Potter, I'm tired."

Harry sat in the same fashion as the platinum, but still closer to the door. Harry wasn't exactly frightened of Draco, really, just intimidated by the aura Draco gave off. Growing too close caused Harry to feel as if he were approaching a white tiger in the midst of its beauty rest.

"I'm tired too." Harry replied.

Draco looked to Harry and told him softly, "Finally."

"Sorry?" Harry inquired.

"We agree."

They sat staring at each other, Draco in his unreadable and unreachable blank stare and Harry in wonderment. Harry coughed slightly, announcing gently, "You're…uhm…looking somewhat ill lately."

"So's my father."

A silence.

"It's pointless for me to ask if you're okay." Harry stated.

"It is." Draco retorted simply.

Harry breathed in deeply, asking breathlessly with irritation, "Why do you make this so hard?"

"Don't blame me for everything you did wrong."

"Existing, Malfoy? I'm sorry, but I wasn't really in control of that decision."

"You wouldn't die if I asked you to, Potter."

Another silence.

"Why do you…say stuff like that?"

Draco sighed inaudibly, "It makes it easier."

"What's easier? Nothing's easier, it all just gets harder!"

The walls closed in slightly. Draco looked away and said aloud to the room, "Silence, Potter. We can agree to hate each other."

"But, Malfoy, I don't want to hate you. I don't hate you."

"That's too bad, Potter, seeing as I've sworn to loathe you for all eternity."

Harry's brows curved in sadly as he looked to his curling fingers.

This wasn't going to be easy.

"You're uhm…going to marry Pansy Parkinson, right?"

The nature of Draco very suddenly changed into one Harry could not recognize. There was a moment of quiet before Draco answered, "Yes. I am."

Harry looked to his fingers again as he continued, "Do…uhm…do you love her?"

"No."

Harry blushed; he already knew that.

"Do you love anyone?"

"No."

The immediate answer shocked Harry, so the ebony-haired boy questioned, "But…your family…your friends…"

"They don't need me. I don't need them."

Harry glared sadly at the back of the blonde's head as he asked very lowly, "You don't need anyone, do you?"

That aura changed again as Harry continued, "You're right well off on your own, then. All alone."

"Doesn't matter if I'm alone or not."

"What does matter, Malfoy?" Harry quizzed harshly.

"Silence." Draco snapped, "As long as it's silent…as long as it's silent."

The quiet re-entered the room and stayed there for those two hours, the walls never closing in, insults never being thrown…simple, elementary silence.

()

"I think you're doing a real sweet thing, Potter. Maybe they were right about you being a good guy." Pansy smiled.

It was midnight and Harry was in the girl's lavatory receiving a polyjuice potion and two suitcases. Harry looked as Pansy stood in front of both cases. She pointed to the brown suitcase and stated, "The brown one's got all my clothes and every-day junk in it. You'll get used to it all, I'm sure."

She pointed to the other one and continued, "The black one is full of vials. The vials are all strapped in and are as small as shot glasses. One glass of polyjuice should be taken every six to eight hours to maintain the transformation throughout the week…kay?"

Harry nodded nervously, visibly, though only slightly shaking. She smiled, "You're gonna do fine, Harry. It'll come naturally, I'm sure of it. Just don't pry too much into everything he says and whatnot…oh, and never defy Narcissa…she doesn't take that."

Harry gulped, "I'm…uh…still a bit uneasy."

"Don't worry, Potter. I'm real proud of you."

He nodded again and took hold of the suitcases. The girl grinned, telling him, "Take the first vile first thing in the morning and be sure to board with him in the morning. I'll come wake you up to make sure you're ready. That'll be in about five hours."

Another positive nod and she leaned over to hug him. He hugged her back as she mumbled over his shoulder, "Thank you."

He smiled; now that was what he wanted to hear. He sighed softly, "Thank you, Pan."

They tightened their holds for a moment, then released and parted ways. Harry settled the two suitcases at the foot of his bed before cuddling under the blankets. He wouldn't get much rest that night, though. The anxiety was choking him. Cutting him off from air. Sharp pain; Draco's eyes were haunting him.

"This better work…" Harry mumbled before forcing sleep to take his body.


	6. Say You'll Love Me, Love Me Again

**Sorry it took so long to update, but to make it up to you guys I made this chapter 11 pages long! :D**

**Thank you for all of you leaving reviews and sending PMs, it means SO SO much! Hope you all enjoy your latest chapter!**

The Great Hall was empty when Harry first peered in, but once his foot actually entered the threshold, it was flooded with people. They all wore masks and charmed outfits. One woman who wore a white mask that stretched out and around her head with staircases was wearing a dress that was nearly see-through, but you couldn't tell where it began or where it ended. One man wore robes being carried by flamboyant little birds while his young mistress was wearing a feathery mask and dress made completely of ivy and daisies. Harry noted that he was wearing an outfit that he was quite sure he once saw in a painting of Godric Gryffindor. His mask was settled on his ears like his glasses and he couldn't tell what it looked like, but it was most likely red with gold designs. His robes were obnoxiously sparkly, flowing behind him like wings.

"Merlin's pants! I thought you couldn't make it!"

Harry looked to his right and there was a small faerie, about the size of his forefinger fluttering above his shoulder.

"S-Sorry?" He replied.

The microscopic girl smiled, "Oh I am so glad you came! I want you to meet someone you already know!"

Harry was following the pixie as he inquired, "W-wait. Why am being introduced to someone I've already met? Someone I already know?"

The girl wore a pout as she maneuvered through some gossiping couples and answered, "Oh, no, no, no! Meeting once is simply not good enough! You've met, sure, but you must meet again and again and again, then you know them. A face is nothing, Mr. Potter. You should know that because of your scar!"

"My scar?" Harry implored as he mumbled apologizes to a female goblin he slightly stumbled upon.

"You scar, Mr. Potter, plagued you with prejudice and gave people this conception that they knew everything about you because you killed Lord Voldemort!"

The sound of that villain's name in such a cheery tone perked one of Harry's brows, "I-I suppose…"

"In any case, Mr. Potter, once is simply not good enough. Again and again, you need to know them again and again. Rehearse the old and embrace the new. Backwards and forwards, left and right, bottom and up and blue and red, am I right?"

"What?"

She shook her head, "Pish posh! The ceiling fan gave me a message full of crystalline and vitamin D!"

Harry's head was spinning, "What? What are you saying?"

"Know them like the back of your hand, Mr. Potter, again and again! Once is not good enough! I don't understand that saying, Mr. Potter. I don't really know the back of my hand all that well, really."

"Uhm…I'm…sorry?"

"Guinea pigs in Venice and Tokyo, they want the powerful hypersonic cavitation technology to destroy the mountains of Malaysia!"

"What??"

"새로운 작풍! 새로운 사람들! 몇번이고, 씨. 도공!"

"…WHAT?"

"Have fun!" She chirped as she patted his back and allowed him to approach another boy all in black.

His mask was black and adorned in lace, he wore a silver chain around his neck which was covered by a black turtleneck. It led down for a while until the outfit was disrupted by the intrusion of the silver lock on his cloak. It was like smoke, slowly dissolving to fog at the hem. His shoes were polished, though and Harry could see his festive gold and red mask in its reflection.

"You don't need to speak."

Harry looked to the boy and implored, "Wh-what?"

The boy tilted his head, the lace on his mask looking more grey in the light as he explained,

"No one bothers. You don't need to. I really don't mind being alone."

"Are you lying?"

The boy looked back and told him, "I don't want to be a bother, I don't want to be a burden."

Harry reached forward, "You're not a burden."

"If you touch me, then you'll become one too. No one will talk to you anymore. No one will look at you anymore, you won't be a hero anymore."

Harry's heart was wrenching, "I don't mind, I really don't care…I don't want a be a hero…not if I can't help one person, one single person like yourself."

"Don't help me because I'm pitiful."

"You're not-"

"Help me because you care…"

Harry's eyes widened, "What?"

"You must be hard of hearing. You say that word a lot."

"I'm sorry."

"That one too."

"If I stay, then there won't be any more heroes, is that right?"

The boy nodded, "If you're gone, then they'll be angry. If you leave me, well…I'm back to square one, aren't I?"

"Don't say that."

"It's true, isn't it? I don't want you to be forced to notice me…I want you to think about me on your own terms…care about me on your own."

He sighed, "But…I don't even know your name."

"You don't even know my face."

Harry's face was a combination of aggravation and eagerness, "Please! Let me save you! I want to stay with you, you don't bother me! You're not a burden, I want to stay with you!"

"But do you want me to stay with you?"

Harry paused, "…what?"

"You want to stay with me. That doesn't mean you want me to stay with you."

"I still don't…I don't understand…"

"You can't save me like this. And I can't save you, so please, let me be alone."

Harry looked to the boy pleadingly behind his mask and muttered, "I need to stay…"

The boy scoffed, "Why? I don't need your charity. I never asked for your help. I never asked for any help…so what's possessing you?"

"Possess…possessing…not a….no…uhm…no…no…no…"

"…Harry…"

"…no…"

"Harry!"

"AH!" Harry shot up straight in his bed, his eyes bulging.

He looked beside him to see Hermione, Ron and Pansy sitting by. He asked, "How long have you been here?"

Pansy smiled, "Only a few minutes. You sounded like you were having a strange dream…are you okay?"

He glanced away, "No…I mean, yes, yes, I'm fine…no as in…no, it's nothing…nothing to worry about, that is. It's nothing. I'm okay."

She raised her brow, but complied, "Alright, well…it's time to take your first shot, dress and go on into Draco's room. I always have to wake him; he loves his rest."

Harry nodded, lazily rubbing his eyes as he flipped his legs out of the covers and took a vial from Pansy's hand. He looked to her uneasily and stated, "I still haven't gotten over the taste of it from last time."

She grinned again, "I've flavored it to be sweet for you."

Ron looked to the brunette and inquired, "Why the hell couldn't you 'av done that for me and Harry?"

Hermione glared, "She's had more time than me."

Pansy glanced back at Ron and told him, "Not to mention I'm a wiz-kid in the kitchen and potions. Kinda goes hand in hand when you think on it."

He nodded, still laughing at Hermione's annoyed expression. Harry glowered at the ugly potion, but quickly downed it. She was right, it tasted tons better than the last polyjuice he had had. It was still a little bitter in the aftertaste, but beggars can't be choosers. Harry noted that the transformation was very quick and less painful than their second year, but he figured that mentioning that may cause Hermione to actually explode. Pansy giggled at the sight of herself in Harry's baggy pajamas and handed him a black, quarter-sleeve dress, black underwear and a pair of black dress-shoes. He looked to Hermione and Ron; Hermione seemed as though she were debating all of the different things she could have done with her polyjuice potion compared to Pansy's while Ron simply smirked and announced in a fake voice, "Aw, my little Harry-dear is finally a lady."

Hermione laughed, "Finally, you two are compatible."

Ron's face sank into one of horror as he retorted, "Gross, Herm. Not right. Harry's my best mate and all, but he's snogged with Ginny before…AND he has glasses."

"So it's not that he's got the same junk as you?" Hermione laughed out.

Ron shook his head, "I'm not into men, Herm. They're disgusting little creatures, all hairy and sweaty and gross."

"Sounds like a mountain troll." Pansy interjected.

"Exactly!" Ron answered, "Point being, if I were in love with Harry, which I'm not, I wouldn't care if he were a man, a girl or a mandrake. I'd love 'im for 'im."

Hermione and Pansy's faces slowly melted to contentment in unison as Hermione told him, "That's sweet, Ronald."

Harry stepped forward in Pansy's body, addressing, "Ehm…and what was that bit about my glasses?"

Ron shrugged, "Glasses are for dorks. I don't date dorks."

Hermione rolled her eyes, "You are a dork."

"You're the dork, book-worm!"

She chuckled again, "That's a nerd, butt-head. Dorks are people with no cool hobbies or friends. Nerds are the same as that, just more academically successful."

Ron shook his head, "Man, she's a walking dictionary, she is."

Harry smiled Pansy's smile and walked into the bathroom to change. He didn't so much as glance at anything he wasn't supposed to and lingered only in the mirror to twist the ebony curls by her ears. He walked out, grabbed her suitcases and looked to the trio.

Ron smiled gallantly, "Remember to note anything 'worth noting'."

Hermione nudged Ron's ribs before telling him, "You're gonna do great. Keep in mind why you're there. It'll all be worth it, Harry."

Pansy finally looked to herself and announced, "I knew no one else could be as brave as you, Harry. Thank you."

He smiled again, "No problem, Pansy. I think this is going to be good for me."

They all hugged before he left, walking down to the Slytherin house, through the common room and into Draco's prefect bedroom. He looked to the bed to find the pale little prince completely lost among the bloated pillows and enormous blanket. He walked over to the sleeping boy and very slowly, nervously lifted his arm and brushed it against Draco's. He pushed him slightly and the pallid boy slowly opened his eyes, "Morning, Pan…thank goodness you got me up, I'm so tired…I'd have slept all day if it weren't for you."

Harry simpered and Pansy's sweet voice answered, "Well, it's about time I'm credited. Now come, the train's leaving in a half hour and I don't want to miss out on sweets."

The blonde rolled his grey eyes with a timid smile, "You're too cute sometimes, Pan."

Harry looked away and muttered, "W-well, come on now. You don't need help dressing now, do you?"

The platinum chuckled,"I'll be out in a minute, Pan."

"Uhm…kay."

With that, Harry exited the room and stood beside the door for ten minutes. When the blonde teenager was beside him Pansy's voice sounded, "Ready?"

"Yes, I'm ready."

Harry was quickly walking through the halls with Draco. He spotted Hermione and Ron at one of the tables in the Great Hall; he wanted to wave, but immediately stopped himself. The eye-contact was enough to grab their attention. Ron seemed to be chuckling while Hermione seemed overwhelmingly proud; like a new mother watching her baby son take his first steps. Harry smiled Pansy's smile as Crabbe and Goyle wandered over to them. Crabbe shook Draco's hand and unexpectedly hugged Pansy. Her body was unusually stiff, as Harry was very disturbed by the contact. Goyle repeated the greeting ceremony and looked back to Draco as did Harry and Crabbe. Crabbe's low voice announced,

"Hope you have a good trip, Draco. We'll be waitin' on ya."

Goyle nodded, "Yeah, have a good break, Draco. Send our best wishes to your mother."

Draco's serious face never wavered as he looked to both of them and replied, "Right, the same to both of you. I'll see you two in a week."

They parted ways and as Harry and Draco neared the train Draco mumbled, "Droids."

Pansy looked to Draco with lifted brows, "Sorry?"

His grey eyes moved to Pansy's as he explained, "They're like robots. They're incredibly stupid, the two of them."

"Oh…"

They boarded the train swiftly and sat across from each other in the small room. Draco's pointed elbow settled by the window as his glazed look traveled through the glass. Harry's mind was elsewhere, though; not entirely a good start. He was supposed to be concentrated on Draco and what to say, how to act, how to look and what to do, but he was far too distracted with his dream. The train was moving for what could've been ten minutes when Draco's voice pierced the comfortable silence,

"Pan, are you alright?"

Harry snapped back into focus and uttered, "W-what?"

Draco's smoky eyes were looking quizzically at Pansy as he repeated, "Are you alright? You look troubled."

Harry glanced to his hands curled in Pansy's lap as he replied, "Oh, no, I'm just trying to understand a strange dream I had."

Draco dropped his elbow from the window and repositioned himself comfortably, crossing his legs and resting his arm on his dominant knee. He painted on a friendly smile and suggested,

"Well, then, I'm fairly good at this. Let us figure it out together."

Harry sighed; what was the harm in it?

"Well…it starts off in the Great Hall. There's a very extravagant ball and I'm immediately approached by a…faerie type thing…"

"Alright, well let's start here, Pan…" Draco began, "It's in Hogwarts, is it?"

"Yes."

"Then your subconscious is telling you that whatever this dream is about, it's close to home. There's an extravagant ball; are you involved in it, or looking on?"

Harry paused before replying, "I'm part of it. It's a masquerade."

"Wonderful, that means that you feel like you don't know or don't understand the people you surround yourself with. Although it might also mean that the only way to be part of the fun—the masquerade ball, in this case—is to hide your real self. And now what happened next?"

To say Harry was impressed by Draco's skill in his psychoanalysis would be an extreme understatement. After gathering himself he continued, "Well…uhm…a faerie came up to me."

"A faerie?"

"Yeah."

"Well that's very significant, Pan. Faeries are very intelligent and spiritual creatures. Your subconscious probably took the form of a faerie to illustrate that it's trustworthy and knows something that you don't. Most likely about yourself. What did it say?"

Harry thought a moment, trying to recollect what exactly it was that the pixie told him, "Well…she wanted me to meet someone I had already met. She told me that seeing someone once isn't enough. To know someone I have to study them, that I have to know them…like the back of my hand…but…"

There was a short silence until Draco pressed, "But what?"

"But…" Harry trailed off for a moment, "Well…she stopped making sense…"

Draco smirked his canine smirk and noted, "That's very good, Pan. It means that you're still discovering this part of yourself that you don't know yet. The faerie is symbolic to something about yourself that you don't know yet, but you may not know it because it hasn't fully developed…anything happen after that?"

"Uhm…yes, I met…I met the person the faerie wanted me to."

"Hmm." Draco hummed, "And I suppose this person was wearing a mask, then?"

"Yeah. He…uhm…looked different from the rest of them."

"Well…can you remember how?"

Harry thought hard before listing, "Dark. The colors were dark, I remember. The mask was black and lace…in the light…he tilted his head at some point and it all looked…a little…silver."

Draco's brows curved inwardly, "Well…hold onto that thought a moment…"

Draco dropped his sophisticated pose and start rummaging through his suitcase. Harry saw from where he was at least seven, thick, hard-cover books. Draco picked one of them with a golden spine and peeled it open, sifting through pages until his finger started tracing downward. Harry couldn't help stating,

"Uhm…you have an awful lot of books with you…"

Draco looked up from beneath his blonde threads of hair with somewhat wide eyes, childish eyes as he mumbled, "Yes, well you know I like psychology, Pan. I suppose it's grown into something of a passion rather than a simple interest."

Harry nodded as Draco's eyes dropped back to the paper. His thin, pale finger traced down the words until it stopped midway and tapped twice, "Ah, here."

Draco looked back to Pansy's eyes and announced, "Black and lace. When you said black I knew that was symbolic to death or mourning but that lace…that lace threw me off…the lace, Pan, is beauty."

"Beauty?"

"Yeah, you know lace is usually popular in…ehm…more…sensual or uh…romantic settings."

Harry couldn't help the little laugh that escaped; Draco seemed so uncomfortable, it was too hard to resist.

"Go on."

Draco sighed and explained, "Well, it means that something terrible has happened, something worthy of mourning but…the lace means…there's uhm…something good in all the bad…a silver lining, ya know?"

Pansy's soft smiling face nodded slowly before inquiring, "About that…what about the silver? What about the silver I saw?"

Draco looked away for a moment, "Sorry, Pan…I'm not sure what that is."

"Hmm…" Pansy's voice buzzed.

Draco closed the book and interrogated, "Anything else happen after that?"

Harry felt Pansy's ebony curls bounce slightly as he quickly whipped her head to look back to the blonde before debating.

"_I don't want to be a bother, I don't want to be a burden."_

"_If you touch me, then you'll become one too. No one will talk to you anymore. No one will look at you anymore, you won't be a hero anymore."_

"_Don't help me because I'm pitiful."_

"_Help me because you care…"_

"_If you're gone, then they'll be angry. If you leave me, well…I'm back to square one, aren't I?"_

"_It's true, isn't it? I don't want you to be forced to notice me…I want you to think about me on your own terms…care about me on your own."_

"_But do you want me to stay with you?"_

"_You want to stay with me. That doesn't mean you want me to stay with you."_

"_You can't save me like this. And I can't save you, so please, let me be alone."_

"_Why? I don't need your charity. I never asked for your help. I never asked for any help…so what's possessing you?"_

"_Possess…possessing…not a….no…uhm…no…no…no…"_

"Pan?"

"W-What?"

Draco's eyes were concerned as his voice was soft and gentle, "Did anything else happen?"

Harry shook her head, "No. Nothing. I can't remember after that…sorry."

Draco put the book back in his suitcase before regaining his snooty-looking pose. A few moments passed in silence again before Harry thought it appropriate to tell him, "Thank you for your help, Draco."

The platinum simpered so gently, so sincerely it warmed Harry's borrowed heart. Draco's ghostly but plump lips parted as he responded, "It's my pleasure, Pan."

"Do you…do you not like it when it's quiet like this?"

Draco seemed intrigued by the inquiry as he told her, "…I don't dislike it."

There was a short silence until Draco continued, "You're the only person…I enjoy talking to. You're the only person I enjoy being around so when we talk…I like it. But I don't mind silence either. Being around you is enough."

Pansy's cheeks filled with pink, "Oh…thank you, Draco…"

He nodded and after another short quiet passed he told her, "You seem tired, Pan. You should rest, we've got a lot of hours to kill."

"Eh, I don't have a pillow or anything. Too uncomfortable."

Draco chuckled, "You're a snob and a half."

He rose from his seat and walked over to Pansy; her eyes followed each of his movements with suspicion until he sat beside her. He wrapped his chilly, lanky arms around her shoulders and lowered her down. Her head was gingerly placed in his surprisingly comfortable lap, one of his athletic arms blanketing her with his previously removed jacket. Pansy's face flooded with color again as Draco winked and told her in a low whisper, "Go to sleep. I know you've been upset about my father, Pan…it's been…stressful for all of us."

Her heart nearly stopped, Harry's reasoning ability was being warped by guilt as Draco continued, "But, Pan…as long as I've got you to understand me…then I'll be okay. I need you to know that."

"…Draco…"

"Don't worry, Pan. I'll stay here till you wake up again."

Harry had to step away from this sad aura; Draco was being too gentle, he was being too soft and kind and sincere and loving. Harry's defense mechanisms stepped into play, forcing him to joke, "And if I don't wake by the time we get home?"

"I'll carry you home."

Her face flustered again, "Thank you, Draco."

Draco's eyes looked something akin to sad as he glanced away momentarily, returning as he requested, "Hey…Pan…tell me…tell me that you love me."

"I love you."

Draco smiled sadly, exhaling deeply, "Go to sleep now."

Closing her eyes, Harry took the blonde's advice. He had a feeling this would be harder than he thought.


	7. Count The Reasons and Seasons I Love You

**Short; Sorry guys, Finals will be ruining my life for the next week. I'll try to update faster, though. THANK YOU ALL REVIEWS AND PMS IT'S SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO APPRECIATED! Hope you guys like the new chapter :D**

"So lovely."

"It's cold." Harry stated to the voice. His eyes were closed and he was standing in miles of completely vacant snow. The voice told him,

"You mean to say it lacks beauty because of its coldness?"

"Cold weather makes people ill, kills some even…sometimes it's catastrophic…"

"Doesn't the danger make it more beautiful, though."

Harry finally realized the voice was that of the faerie's. He opened his eyes to the snowy, blankness ahead him as he muttered, "Girl…where are you? What are you trying to tell me?"

"Is it not said, Mr. Potter, that the forbidden fruit is the sweetest?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"You say you dislike the snow and ice because it is cold. I love it for its angelic atmosphere…you need to look at it differently."

"Who was the boy I met at the ball?"

"There is beauty in all of us, Mr. Potter. In you, in your friends…even your enemies. There's beauty in absolutely everything. No matter the form or age, place or appearance. I want you to recognize that."

"There was beauty…beauty was the lace…there is beauty in the boy I met…but there's beauty in everything, so I still can't tell who it is…"

"It's a cruel thing, Mr. Potter, to say that someone is more beautiful soulfully than someone else. That's not how it works, though. Mr. Potter, when someone falls in love, their soul doesn't have some rare beauty or extreme beauty against anyone else's in comparison…it is judged by how the beauty aligns with your own." The girl's voice echoed.

Harry winced a little as snow accumulated on his lashes while he asked, "I'm sorry…I'm sorry this is all too much, too fast, what about love? I don't understand. Am I in love?"

"Only preparation, Mr. Potter. In good time, Mr. Potter, you will answer your own questions."

"Please…tell me who you are…please…"

"Why?"

"I…I don't know…I want to show you my gratitude properly…"

"Oh…is it shaped like a square?"

"…what?"

"No one will come if I'm stuck in the labyrinth with Haku on the frigid mountainside! All of my secrets will be uncovered!"

"No! You're not making sense!"

"Have you been practicing your basic exercises at all? At this rate you'll never make it to the advanced class!"

"Stop! Stay normal! Talk to me!"

"They collect the gondolas to marry off the Russian princes of the Neolithic age!"

"Please…tell me…tell me…please…please…"

"Pan…Pan…"

"Please…"

"Pan?"

"Huh?"

Harry opened the girl's eyes and found himself ensnared by the blonde's murky ones.

"Are you up now?"

He rubbed her eyes cutely, mumbling, "Yes, yes, I'm up."

Draco watched Harry as he lifted her body off of him. Harry looked to the boy and inquired, "Are we there?"

"Almost. We've got about a half hour left."

Harry made the pretty girl scowl grumpily as he muttered, "So why'd you wake me up?"

"You sounded like you were having another strange dream. My curiosity got the best of me and I wanted to see if perhaps there were more translations I could provide. It was only after you starting waking that I realized it takes at least four hours for someone to reach R.E.M sleep."

Harry perked her brow, "R.E.M?"

"Mmhmm. R.E.M stands for rapid-eye-movement. When someone sleeps for the appropriate amount of time there's a time in their sleep where their eyes move, usually looking at imagery in dreams. It's during that stage of sleep that one actually dreams and can retain what they've seen."

Although Harry had dreamt something he nodded, "You're very smart."

Draco chuckled softly, "Thanks, Pan."

Harry realized what Pansy meant in that moment; about Draco not really laughing. Not laughing sincerely; it felt forced. He was still pale, he was still ill, he still wasn't the proud Draco Malfoy he knew. He was still broken, still a statue, a storm, a katana, he was still so far out of reach. As Harry sat there, looking at the blonde his overworked brain simply asked him; How the hell am I going to do this? What was it that Harry could say? Or Pansy? Who was he now? Who could reach Draco Malfoy, if not Pansy Parkinson? Harry knew now how kindly Draco treated her, he saw how gentle and loving and benevolent he was when it came to her. If Draco couldn't trust her…if he couldn't love her…Harry doubted he could love anyone.

"You know, Pan…"

Harry looked to the boy, "Mmm?"

"You've changed."

His lent heart beat faster in anxiety; "W-what do you mean?"

Draco shrugged lightly, "Well, I only started thinking about it an hour or so ago. Maybe it's just because you're coming back home, or maybe it's about my father…or…maybe the war changed you, Pan."

"Oh…" Harry relaxed a bit more without letting his guard down as he inquired, "Changed…how?"

Draco looked away a moment before telling the girl, "Dunno…but it's good."

Harry felt the girl's face flush as Draco repeated, "Whatever it is…it's nice."

Draco's wonderfully handsome face looked back to the girl and Harry's loaned heart pounded against the girl's ribs. Harry was captured again; lost in Draco's metallic eyes. Whirlwinds of steal locks and sharp keys spreading across the frozen lake at foggy sunset. Misty and troubled, angry and hurt yet somehow unreadable; secretive and misleading. Red herring leading him down a cobble stone path of twisted lies and potentially heart-breaking secrets. He was hypnotized until his brain spat; What would Pansy say? What the hell should his response be? Staring into Draco's eyes like a love-sick school girl (which was what the situation was supposed to be) would do no good if Pansy would have been in a sisterly-combative relationship with the boy. Harry opened his mouth, spewing the first retort that came to mind,

"Oh," He started dramatically, "You didn't think I was nice before, did you?"

Draco looked pensive. He was still serious, though and Harry showed Draco that he understood the boy was taking it seriously by melting her joking smile into a blank look. Draco glanced away for a moment before telling Harry, "You were nice before. You were."

Harry had the girl look away, "Draco…why don't…why don't you love me?"

Harry saw Draco's face pale by ten shades as he stuttered, "W-what?"

"What…what did I do wrong…or what didn't I do?"

Draco's startled eyes never left the girl's. He was clearly appalled and was not shy about showing her; his mouth agape and face completely white…

"Pan…"

Staring blankly Draco finished, "You've…I was…I'm…I'm sorry, Pan…"

Harry made the girl's pretty face glare dangerously; why wouldn't he answer? Harry decided to back away, though; it was a sensitive subject and he still had entire week to figure out anything else he needed or wanted to.

"No. I'm sorry."

They held a very thick gaze then. Their eyes were locked and Harry could say nothing, do nothing but acknowledge how organic that response had been. Their eyes were staring into each others', but Harry felt a wall there. Harry had wished that when he looked into Draco's eyes, that he would be swept into a grey truth so revealing and so moving that his soul would shiver and Draco would be lost in his jade gaze. That Draco would find something beautiful in Harry's eyes, find something that he couldn't find in anyone else; trust Harry with things he couldn't trust in anyone else.

This wasn't the case, though. Draco was looking into eyes he knew well. Eyes that belonged only to Draco Malfoy, eyes that loved Draco and praised Draco. Eyes that followed the wishes of a broken heart, a heart that beat only for Draco Malfoy, a heart that only sang for Draco Malfoy. A heart that would never, ever be nurtured by the one that made it complete. A lock forever empty, without a key. A new home to never be furnished or an orphan never adopted. A handkerchief with initials that belonged to no one or an abandoned pair of new shoes. An unloved, unwanted love radiated from this torn heart, this torn heart that beat so that this lonely girl's lonely eyes could settle on Draco Malfoy. But all Draco Malfoy saw was a pair of eyes. Locking, pushing, knocking, kicking, rushing, keeping her out with every effort from his fingertips and even his toes. Every little bit of him wanted nothing to do with the emotion laid out on her sleeve. Harry wondered it embarrassed him.

"I…I…" Draco began with wide eyes, but he was cut off by an echoing voice from the halls of the train,

"TEN MINUTES, KIDS, START GATHERING YOUR TRUNKS!"

Draco looked to the girl again, stammering uncharacteristically, "I-uhm-no-eh…I…I'll get…some…I mean…our…whatever…we put back there-the suitcases we put back there, I'll get them…I'll…uh…be right back."

The blonde immediately turned around when he heard the girl's voice mumble. He still seemed completely shocked, worried even as he inquired, "Sorry?"

"You're a Saint."

Harry hadn't known what kind of reaction he was seeking, but the one he received left him just as puzzled. Draco's brows sank, his somewhat thick lips slanted more as he muttered, "Not even close."

With that, he walked out of the room, leaving Harry to wonder what the Hell made him agree to this plan.

()

As they walked off the train Harry saw a fairly young man wave to them. He was wearing a very clean black suit and grey hat and he was standing before a tinted-window limo. Harry boarded the extravagant vehicle as nonchalantly as he could while Draco followed and again, only stared out the window with his elbow up.

"Gerald."

"Yes?" answered the driver.

Harry moved the girl's eyes to the platinum as he implored, "Is my mother at home?"

"She is."

"Has she been…in good health?"

The driver frowned, "I'm sorry to report, Master Draco, that she has not. I hope your presence can lighten the house."

Draco chuckled softly, "Now, Gerald, you've known me since I was an infant…surely you know by now I barely…" Draco sighed, "Nevermind. How much longer until we're home?"

"Only a few minutes. Is there some business to take care of that you're anxious for?"

The blonde looked out the window again, "Not at all. I'm tired. That's all."

Harry tried making conversation, "Can we listen to music?"

Harry instantaneously hated himself for speaking; even the driver seemed shocked. Draco was looking at the girl strangely as he answered, "You know I don't listen to any muggle music. Much less on muggle technology."

Harry sighed shakily, "Oh…yes…of course."

Draco slowly looked away; devoid of interest. Harry looked to the driver he had grown to as Gerald and ventured, "Ehm…Gerald…has…ehm…has Narcissa been…been crying much?"

The driver shrugged, "Only a bit more than usual, Mistress."

Harry shrank back again; there was a usual?

What was he doing here? Why was he prying into Draco Malfoy's life? Harry had been the Slytherin's fiancée for about three hours and his only conclusion; Draco Malfoy's life is a cornucopia of disturbing and depressing concepts, people and situations that spiraled everyone involved into a shell of what they used to be completely alone to wallow in sorrow the rest of their miserable existences. Harry's borrowed heart beat a bit faster, a bit more painfully.

"Draco."

The blonde looked to the girl with a perked brow, encouraging her to continue.

"I'll always love you. I'm not angry."

Draco looked away sadly again, "Thank you, Pan."


	8. I Can't Save Everyone

**I AM SO SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG; I've been so busy, and it's kind of short, but I promise to be better with my updating! Thank you to all reviews and PMs, it's all really, really appreciated!!**

"Let me take your bags." Gerald requested as they entered the mansion.

Draco had already dropped his suitcases by the door, removed his dark coat and stretched his arms into the air with a deep grunt. Harry turned the tiny female physique to look out the window by the front door. They were on a bit of a hill, the snow covering every inch. The Victorian-like castle was befitting to the royal Draco Malfoy he was familiar with. The snow still lightly falling from the skies reminded Harry of his dream. He wanted to ask Draco to spell everything out for him again, he wanted Draco to show how intelligent he was, how capable he was. When Draco had helped the girl he was confident; confident that he was of help to her.

"_No, Potter, it's got nothing to do with 'if' I can do it. I know full well that I am far more capable than you at most everything, so if you think you can, what cause for concern do I have?" _

Harry changed his mind; Draco was capable of most everything, only willing for Pansy Parkinson. The one person he liked talking to, the one person he enjoyed being around, the one person he found delightful. The one person he would ever allow to see him stammer, the only person he would let rest on his lap, the only person he would lend his jacket to, the only one he would lie to. Draco took all the effort to forge a plastic smile, a forced chuckle and fill the space between them with something other than silence to show he cared. Only for Pansy he would make a sound, simper or laugh.

Harry wanted Draco to have more reason to smile. He wanted Draco to laugh involuntarily, he wanted Draco to grin from ear to ear, he wanted Draco to blush and have a spark in his eye. He didn't want Draco to look ill anymore. He didn't want Draco's father to have passed. He wanted to save him, he wanted to help. He wanted Draco to love life again.

"Tea, Master Draco?" A woman, seemingly a maid, inquired.

"No. I'm retiring to my room. I want no disturbances."

"_I just…if you decide to…I have to tell you before I forget…no matter what, no one goes in Draco's room when he's alone in there. When he goes in there and locks the door it means he's crying. He wouldn't want me walking in on that. He wouldn't want anyone walking in on that."_

The girl's eyes widened, her heart dropping to her stomach in realization. It was a strange sensation; it was almost like seeing the future, but it's a blur. Knowing that someone is trying to keep a secret you already know. Harry knew that Draco was going to ascend those stairs to walk into whichever room was his, perhaps bury his face in a pillow or open a book he's already read. And he was going to cry. Harry curved the girl's brows so deeply and let her lips part so timidly, but no words would escape. No words 

that would reach Draco Malfoy, anyway. Harry didn't think he could form a sentence that could melt into Draco Malfoy who was a statue, ice cold and eternally unmoving. A katana or a storm, the frigid lake or the sun blocked by rainclouds. A snow-capped mountain range standing tall and proud, never breaking down, never letting someone see fracture or fault.

"Mistress?" The woman asked the girl, sounding as if she had asked this word several times.

The girl's face turned to the woman, "S-sorry?"

The woman tilted her head strangely, "Tea?"

"Oh, ehm, no, it's okay. Thank you."

Harry directed the girl's body to follow the blonde up the stairs. The entire house was chilly, dust almost floating in the air. It was dank, foggy with distrust, reminding Harry of Draco's eyes. Pansy must have a hard time coming up the stairs. Harry watched the boy's back as he walked into one of the rooms. His room's entrance was two mahogany doors with silver handle-knobs. Once the doors were securely shut with a soft clink of the lock echoing through the dead air, Harry stepped up to the doors. Harry was only a step away from the handle when a feminine but worn voice called out, "Pansy?"

The girl's head spun to the right where Narcissa Malfoy stood. Her eyes were tired and pink from crying, she was even more pale than Draco and her entire body was seriously lacking flesh. She stepped forward and inquired, "W-when did you get here?"

Harry was almost frightened by the ill woman as he answered softly, "Only just now…"

"I s-suppose Draco's g-gone to his room, then?"

"Uhm…yes." Harry replied.

The woman stared at the girl for a while until she requested, "Come with me, Pansy. I n-need to sit for some tea and I'd like you to j-join me."

Harry nodded the girl's worried face as they descended the stairs again while Harry silently prayed that Draco would walk out of his room and come with them. He didn't want to go without a friend and paranoia was not being friendly to him; worrying that she may already know it's not the real Pansy. He sat down with the woman, however and remained very quiet as Ms. Malfoy shakily sipped from her china-cup. Harry mimicked her, very uncomfortable and incredibly nervous. She finally spoke, not looking to Pansy as she muttered,

"Our song was on."

"Sorry?"

The blonde woman who was aged terribly by mourning looked to the young girl, "I wasn't there; I was close to home at a concert and they played our wedding song. It was on at the time he was killed."

The girl's eyes were wide, "I…uhm…I'm so sorry, Ms. Malfoy."

Oh and Harry could see the pain in the widow's eyes; she clearly had not been called 'Miss' for a while. She was fragile and so unreal. She seemed far away, like a dimming star or a storm over the mountains. It reminded Harry of Draco.

Pansy must have a hard time looking at Narcissa.

"Pansy. I need you to do something v-very important for me."

Pansy's eyes looked to the mother, "What's that?"

"Do you recall the night that Draco was to receive the dark mark? It was about five months ago, if I-I'm not mistaken."

"Oh, yes, of course." Harry lied; he hadn't the slightest clue that Draco was so devoted to the Dark Lord.

"I need you to go back to that night and watch where Lucius takes a few papers. I believe he takes it somewhere into his study, but I'm too i-ill to go back myself and check exactly where. It's very important papers for his f-funeral. Would you please?"

"Ehm…" Harry began, "How will I be…getting back there?"

Narcissa stated, "Don't worry, I know how dangerous it is to cast the spell on yourself, I'll cast it for you."

"Spell?" Harry pressed.

The blonde tilted her head, inquiring "I-I suppose I was wrong in th-thinking you were there when Draco h-had to go back to Christmas eve? I-If you weren't there, then you probably h-haven't heard of the spell yet, I-I'm sorry dear, l-lately my memory's been f-failing me terribly."

Harry's heart wrenched as he looked away; he couldn't keep eye-contact with the poor, broken woman. He suddenly felt the older woman's hand on Pansy's and looked back; she smiled so weakly and so unstably as she finished,

"I-I would n-naturally ask Draco, but that night w-was so painful for him, I w-wouldn't want him to have to see t-that again…so would you p-please go in his place?"

Harry instantaneously nodded, "Of-of course, Ms. Malfoy, I'll go if you need me to…"

Draco's mother's cold and vane-y hand was twitchy and so very skeletal. Harry stood with Narcissa and once the blonde raised her wand Pansy's eyes shut and absorbed the words

"Theraponia Elianas…"

"_Tonight is the night, Draco. Aren't you proud?"_

_The blonde boy looked up from the couch he so nervously was perched on. He glared to the Dark Lord,_

"_I don't want the Dark Mark tonight."_

"_What?" Lucius immediately snapped._

"_Lucius!" The serpentine man interrupted, looking only at Draco as he inquired threateningly, "You mean to say you will not follow me?"_

"_I never said that."_

_There was silence._

"_Explain yourself!" Voldemort barked._

_The pale boy looked away, "You're going to kill me anyway."_

_The boy didn't have a moment to breathe before Voldemort casted the Cruciatus curse. He fell from his seat, writhing in pain. His thin physique was bent, his back arching and his hands gripping at his vanilla hair, his elbows pointing directly upward while he screamed a shriek unlike anything Harry had ever heard. Voldemort pulled his wand's focus away, allowing Draco's body to fall limp as he whimpered on the floor…_

"_Now are you ready?" The Dark wizard pressed._

_Draco's arms and waist twitched as he scowled as best he could, "Harry…Potter…"_

Harry's heart thumped; had he been spotted? He looked to Voldemort who stared daggers at Draco for saying his name, _"…what of him?"_

Harry watched in horror as Draco's eyes filmed with blood that must have been tears' replacement.

"_This is usually…the time he comes…to rescue his friends…"_

"_And?" The man hissed._

_Draco's eyes closed, the blood coating his blonde lashes until he opened them, "He's not…coming…"_

"_No, Harry Potter is not coming to save your day, Draco. Now get on your feet, you're pathetic."_

_The boy unstably got back to balance, "I…I cannot…take t-the mark…I am in…a lot of pain…"_

"_Suck it up!" His father ordered._

"_Lucius, Lucius," Voldemort began, "give the boy his time." _

_He practically slithered back to Draco, gripping the back of his ivory hair, "You will follow me. And it's best you learn to love the Cruciatus curse. Because in your case, without all that pain in there, there's nothing."_

Through the corner of Harry's eye he could see Lucius walking off toward what may have been his 'study'. Harry didn't want to leave, he wanted to make sure Draco was okay, but he dared not to disobey Narcissa and followed her dead husband.

"So?"

"There in the top drawer of his mahogany desk."

"Thank you, Pansy."

He nodded the girl's head, "Don't worry about it, Ms. Malfoy."

He wasn't empty. Harry was determined to prove that.


	9. Sweet, Slytherin Seduction

**Kind of short, but at least I'm updating, right? Heh, thank you to all reviews and adds and PMs it's all so so so so so so so appreciated!!**

Harry took his polyjuice-shots on schedule, constantly checking the watch Pansy's wrist wore cutely. It was early in the morning when Harry woke and forced Pansy's body out of bed to shower and dress. He organized all of her jewelry, skirt, shoes and shirt to match perfectly; a grey skirt with black lace at the hem, a black tube-top with a gray-lace choker, black dangling earrings and a grey ribbon tying her ebony curls back. Her wrists both wore three silver bracelets, the left wrist fashioning the tiny black watch Harry was so paranoid over while her skinny legs wore knee-high, grey socks and black, laced boots. When Harry left Pansy's room he walked into the hall to find Draco's door slightly ajar. His curiosity took over and he walked over to the crack and looked in.

The sun was breaking through the boy's gigantic, open window and he was standing before it in only a pair of pajama pants. His thin but fit physique was outlined by the shining light, giving him a beautiful, golden aura and playing heart-wrenching chords of white and yellow on his ivory hair. His hair for once was not gelled back, allowing witnesses to gather just how feathery and silk it appeared on its own as it wavered in the slight breeze coming through. Draco's back was facing him, his entire back so athletic, strong-looking and his shoulders were so broad and boyish and Harry was surprised to see a muggle radio playing on his bedside table, the song 'Rough Justice', by the Rolling Stones buzzing softly through the room. His face turned on a slight angle, his perfectly carved nose lifted as his thick lips parted and Harry watched a wonderful cloud of grey escape; he finally noticed the cigarette in his left hand.

"You can come in if you like, Pan."

Harry's borrowed heart skipped a beat in shock as he opened the door all the way, muttering, "How did you know…?"

He turned to face the girl completely; his chest was beautiful, his torso virtually hairless, lightly freckled across his arms while his abs had found the perfect lighting to force all attention to it. His chest-plates were small, making him appear almost scrawny or lanky, but it made the rest of his stomach and back appear longer, serpentine. His lashes matched his hair, Harry noticed, and he thought that to be almost beautiful as Draco's katana eyes sliced through him again. He ran his right hand through his hair, only to find it fell back into perfect placement,

"Your air."

"My air?" Harry repeated.

"Your air." Draco stated again as he raised the cigarette to his lips and breathed it out again, "You've got an aura to you and I can recognize it."

Harry stepped further into the room, closing the door slowly behind her as he interviewed, "Ehm…is it good or bad?"

Draco was exhaling another cloud of smoke that matched his eyes perfectly when he asked with a cocked brow, "You want the truth?"

"Of course." Harry answered.

"Well," Draco began, never moving his eyes from Pansy's, "to be honest, it used to be rather annoying. At least when you didn't announce your presence. But something about it has changed and it's actually…lovely."

Pansy's cheeks filled with pink, "What do you mean?"

Draco blew out a ring of smoke before replying, "You remember on the train? How I told you that you'd changed recently? I had only noticed it then because something was different about your air. I'm not quite sure what it is yet, but once I know what's changed about you, I'll tell you."

Harry brushed away a stray curl from her forehead as he pressed, "And…and you said it's a nice change…right?"

Draco smirked all-knowingly as he let more smoke escape the corner of his curiously humored lips,

"Yes, it's a nice change. Speaking of; you look very pretty this morning."

More blood fled to the girl's face, "T-thank you, Draco."

The blonde looked away, crunching the cigarette out in a little white dish that sat on the mahogany desk beside the huge window. He settled his sizable, spidery hands on said desk, his shoulders meeting his ears and brushing against some of his bleach-blonde hair as he murmured,

"Pan…"

"Yes?"

"Are you going to speak at my father's funeral this tomorrow?"

Harry took a step forward timidly, responding softly, "I…hadn't realized it was expected of me."

Draco didn't look at the girl still, telling her, "It's okay. I'm glad. It's best that you don't have to go up there and tell stupid lies of heroism and bravery that never actually existed." He finally turned to Pansy again, walking so close that they were separated only be an inch. Harry could hear the beautiful boy breathing calmly, finally noticing his chest was a bit scarred, noting the perfectly subtle Adam's-apple he had and how his collarbone elevated with every breath. His breath didn't smell bad; in fact, it smelled like the tea he had shared with Narcissa the day prior. Draco was looking down at the girl and Harry finally gathered the courage to turn her head upward to the taller boy, meeting his stormy eyes as he closed in. His full lips were just barely touching the corner of her jaw, by her ear when he nearly whispered, "I haven't showered…am I offensive?"

His warm breath dancing across her small ears sent shivers down her spine, forcing her lips to part that didn't let escape the prevented moan; his very presence was seductive. Harry closed her eyes, responding just as softly,

"N-not at all. Your scent is actually…very pleasant."

He pulled away from her ear, bringing his slender digits to her heated cheek, scarcely touching her, really just brushing across her air, his lips slightly agape almost touching hers as Harry opened her eyes. Draco's intoxicating breath twirled across her starved mouth as his charming morning-voice requested almost inaudibly, "You should go; imagine someone spots you in my room while I'm barely dressed. They'll think I'm up to no good."

Her low eyes were hypnotized by Draco's tempting attitude and dazzling irises as her weakened voice replied, "You are."

They heard a door open and close from down the hall; Draco's eyes moved from the door to Pansy's before muttering, "You have to go before my mother thinks you've spent the night in my room."

With that he casted some sort Malfoy Magic on her jelly-legs that obeyed his every command and left the room. Once Harry exited to find a maid in front of her he blushed and explained,

"I-I-I…it's not w-what it looks like!"

The woman smirked, "Don't worry, I understand; he's always played Catch-And-Release with you."

With that she left and Harry rose the girl's hand to her pounding chest in horror…

_I was seduced by Draco Malfoy… _


	10. Mistakes Love's Made

**Thank you all adds and reviews! It's all awesome, thank you so so so much! Hope you enjoy your latest update!**

* * *

"Good morning." Narcissa stated as Pansy entered the room.

He nodded her head, "Morning."

It wasn't a moment longer before Draco entered; to Harry's great surprise, Draco's home-fashion was not princely and pricey, but rather gloomy…and tight. He tried not to stare for too long at his black jeans that hugged him by his waist, but fell into something more akin to bell-bottoms. He wore a bulky black bracelet that looked more like a belt for his frail wrist; his black shirt held fast to his torso, flattering his chest and back. His elegant neck was accessorized with a dark chain that fell into his shirt; Harry didn't linger on that, though and continued to gaze at Draco's sharp, handsome face. His tornado eyes seemed even more grey than before that morning; Harry blamed it on his sorrows. The blonde didn't so much as look to his mother; neither said a word to each other as the boy passed through. Harry's heart suddenly thumped when he realized Draco's intense eyes were concentrated completely on her.

"I'm going for a walk. Care to join me, Pan?"

Harry nodded the girl's head again, quietly following him out of the room to glance back at the woman sipping her tea. He looked back to Draco; he stared dead-ahead, not so much as perturbed by the silent encounter. He didn't make eye-contact with Pansy when he asked her softly,

"You prefer to walk or fly?"

"Wouldn't flying…seem a bit…celebratory at a time like this?"

The blonde's brows furrowed, still looking straight forward as he responded indifferently, "I suppose you're right."

As they approached the door, Gerald reappeared and draped their coats over them, dressing them in scarves and allowing them to exit. Once they greeted the frosty air, Harry regretted wearing a skirt. He followed Draco nonetheless, he knew Pansy would. Draco led the girl far away, never speaking a word and Harry dare not break the silence he knew Draco so adored. In the quiet and snow, looking at the tall and lanky prince all Harry could see was him writhing in pain and screaming a kind of shriek he never would have thought humanly possible has he not seen and heard it for himself. He couldn't stop wondering if Draco suffered the Cruciatus Curse as regularly as his mother cried.

"…_sometimes it's better off not having parents rather than…than having strangers."_

That's why Draco didn't say hello.

He didn't know her.

It had been just shy of an hour when Draco and Pansy arrived at a charcoal-frosted bench that sat in the middle of nowhere; surrounded by a desert of white and nothing and no one else. Draco sat down, as did Harry, right next to the blonde. Harry brought the girl's knees in, stretching the material as far over her legs as it would go until Draco stole his attention again,

"I don't hate this."

"What?" Harry inquired.

It looked like Draco was conflicted; perhaps having trouble with trying to find the right words,

"I…I don't hate it when it's quiet like this. I don't hate you. I don't ever want to hate you. I never will."

"Draco," Harry started gently, "…what are you talking about?"

Draco looked to the girl, his cheeks flustering, an uneasy expression that screamed awkward adolescence; as in, an anxious boy trying to express something profound to a teenage girl. It made Harry want to giggle; he knew Draco would only show this cute and insecure side to Pansy and it honored Harry to be allowed to experience being in her lucky shoes. Draco looked away again,

"Something is different. It's really different, but I can't put my finger on it. I told you something had changed and it was good…but it reminds me…of something…I can't seem to remember…and now…I don't know if I like it…I know that I do, but I think I don't…do you…do you understand that? Because…I don't think I do."

The girl chuckled lightly, "You're funny, sometimes, Draco. I do understand."

The blonde finally returned his gaze to her, "You really understand?"

Harry brushed away an ebony curl before replying, "I don't know, but I understand that you don't hate me."

Malfoy nodded and painted on that practiced smile before telling her, "That's good, then…that's okay. That's about all I understand about what I just said too…"

The girl smiled again, but before the comfortable silence could return to them, Harry stated,

"I have questions, Draco…"

"You know you can ask me anything, Pan."

"I…about what happened in the Hospital Wing…can we talk about it?"

His calm demeanor suddenly changed and Harry could feel the aura of the sleeping white tiger again. He still didn't know Draco that well; he still acknowledged that Draco was an unopened book with pages all torn and strewn around with words and pictures missing, making him a labyrinth. He didn't know if Draco created his heart and mind's maze on his own, or if he was forced to compose all of the secret passage-ways and traps. Because Draco Malfoy was such a mystery, Harry had no way of knowing how he would react to Pansy prying, but if he wouldn't let Pansy in, he knew no one else had a chance; so he took his chances.

"What about it?"

The girl's eyes stayed frozen on Draco's concrete gaze, "Uhm…why did you say…that-" He caught himself before saying 'I', then continued, "…uhm…Potter was too good for the Killing Curse…? Don't you…uhm…hate him?"

Draco looked completely away, muttering, "He killed Voldemort. He saved millions of people; wizards, squibs and muggles. Not only is he a savior who deserves our respect, Pan, but he's a powerful wizard with class; he doesn't wave his wand around just because he can. That's why I said he's too good for it. Had I been in any condition to speak to anyone, meaning, if I hadn't been heavily medicated, I would have told him off and not so much as looked at him again. You should forget everything that happened in the Hospital Wing. I was barely conscious at all."

The girl's cheeks filled with flattered red; he never would have thought Draco Malfoy could think so highly of him. Harry knew that those three last statements should have meant the end of the conversation, but Harry guiltily pressed further,

"Draco…he killed your father."

The blonde sighed out a cloud of fog, his fair face sinking into sad brows, lifeless eyes and a morbid smile of self-hatred as he mumbled nearly inaudibly, "No, he didn't."

There was a fast moment that Harry questioned if Draco wasn't willing to accept the fact that his father was dead. He wondered if perhaps Draco's heroic image of Harry would be shattered if he forced himself to accept his father's death, thus he pushed it aside and denied it. Suddenly Harry realized Draco's eyes on her; his mask was gentle again, looking at the girl as if she were an adorable animal about to be adopted. He blinked slowly, taking off his coat and throwing it over the girl's legs. When their eyes met again he told her,

"I don't want you to catch a cold. You know you won't catch my eye this way."

"W-what?" Harry stammered.

The blonde tilted his head, lifting a brow, "You don't have to dress like this to catch my eye."

Pansy's face went red, "I-I wasn't trying t-to…t-to…"

Draco faked another smile, "Are you about to tell me you were dressing like this in the winter-time without the intent of grabbing my attention?"

Harry's mind went blank.

Draco had a point.

Had Harry actually been looking for Draco to notice? For him to stare and flatter?

_"Yes, it's a nice change. Speaking of; you look very pretty this morning."_

Harry remembered how the blood had rushed to her face; could Harry's right mind be under attack by estrogen Pansy slipped him in his polyjuice shots? Or was he taking on a girl's instincts? Or their nature? Was he trying too hard to be like a girl that he's completely in character? Or…something a bit more disturbing…had he entirely intended to wind in Draco's romantic tactics?

"I…I'm sorry, Draco. I suppose…just…"

"What you asked me on the train?"

"What?"

Draco repeated, "What you asked me on the train…why…why I didn't love you…" There was a short pause before he continued, "I'm sorry I ran from that question. I'm sorry that I…I'm sorry that I apologized instead of…explained myself, Pan…I know it must hurt…"

"Are you going to answer me?"

The blonde broke eye-contact as he muttered, "You're acting different, Pan."

"What?"

"Are you hard of hearing, Pan? You've been saying that word a lot."

_"Don't help me because I'm pitiful."_

_"You're not-"_

_"Help me because you care…"_

_"What?"_

_"You must be hard of hearing. You say that word a lot."_

"…sorry."

"_I'm sorry."_

"_That one too."_

"Pan…it's not just your air, it's…it's how you word stuff and how you talk to me, I mean, we walked here in complete silence…" Draco looked to her again, "You always talk, Pan. You're always talking and telling me things, but you didn't say a single thing. Is it my father? Are you quiet because my father is dead, Pan or are you quiet because you're different? Are you quiet because the war is over or are you different?"

Harry glanced away, trying to gather the courage not to immediately confess it wasn't really Pansy, until he replied, "I don't understand, Draco, you said me being here was enough, that you didn't mind the quiet."

"_Do you love anyone?"_

"_No."_

"_But…your family…your friends…"_

"_They don't need me. I don't need them."_

"_You don't need anyone, do you? You're right well off on your own, then. All alone."_

"_Doesn't matter if I'm alone or not."_

"_What does matter, Malfoy?" _

"_Silence. As long as it's silent…as long as it's silent."_

"No!" Draco barked, "No, I don't mind it when it's quiet, I just…you just…"

"I just what? What does me talking do?"

"It makes it…it…you…I talk to you…" Draco looked off again, holding his temples, "I talk to you. I don't talk to anyone. I don't let anyone talk to me. But I let you talk. You talk and talk and talk and I don't care…I don't care when you talk…you're the only other one who understands me."

"What do you mean!" Harry burst, "Understand you!? How could I understand you when you hide in your room and lead me on and stay silent all the time! You don't love me, but you don't object to marrying me, you know the answers but never raise your hand in class, you have emotions but you never show me a single one! The only goddamn time I've seen emotion in you was in the Hospital Wing! Otherwise you're just dark and mean and cold and unavailable and grey and **empty**!"

There was a harsh silence that fell between the two; Draco's raincloud eyes were wide in horror, his light skin paler than usual. Looking into Draco's eyes in that moment, there was an emotion. It was something Harry recognized, the emotion was synonymous to the Mirror of Erised, to Narcissa's crow's feet, to Lucius's last will and testament and to Draco's very being. Pain.

It was etched across his perfect face, his mouth sewn shut and jaw tight…

"Draco," Her voice came out pitifully, "Draco, I didn't me—"

"Yes you did."

They gazed at each other, Harry unable to form a single word. Draco abruptly stood, breaking the stare;

"You're right."

"What?" Harry plead.

The blonde didn't look back at her, "Go home. Tell Gerald I won't be home for dinner."

"Where are y-"

"Go."

Holding his coat tightly to her chest, Harry mumbled, "Don't run away."

"I'm not a stupid pre-teen who can't handle their responsibilities. I wouldn't run away."

"I meant from me."

There was a heavy silence; their days of comfort all gone in a blink of an eye, an utterance of a word. As Harry turned, he told himself of how the only emotions he had been able to read in Draco were indifference and pain. That empty look in his eyes was constant, but when he looked at Harry Potter, there was a tangible hatred, an anger. When he looked at Pansy Parkinson, there was only pain. Or emptiness.

"_You will follow me. And it's best you learn to love the Cruciatus curse. Because in your case, without all that pain in there, there's nothing."_


	11. Fathers and Mothers

**Sorry for taking so long with this one, guys! Hope you like it! Thank you all reviews and adds, it's so so so so so so appreciated!!**

* * *

"Are you okay, Pansy?"

Harry twisted around on the girl's bed to see one of the maids entering. He changed the girl's pretty face into a forced smile, muttering, "I'm fine, don't worry."

"Where is Master Draco?" The girl asked.

The maid was about Pansy's age and from her tone Harry figured they must be friendly. He sighed,

"I don't know. We had a fight and he sent me off."

The maid's eyes opened wide, "You…had a fight?"

The utter horror and disbelief in the maid's voice forced Harry to question if he had made a bad decision in telling her. He brushed down at her skirt, turning around completely,

"Uhm…yes…I more or less blew up at him about his…eh…emotional availability, or rather, lack thereof. I think I've upset him terribly."

The maid sat down beside the girl, sighing, "You know, you're very lucky, Pansy. I mean…I know this engagement isn't what Draco wants, but once he's old enough to see how his father saw it…I mean…it's not like he treats you bad or ignores you completely. He's a gentleman, and a good-looking one at that. I'm sure you two will be happy together and he'll grow to love you."

"His father? What's he got to do with this?" Harry interviewed.

The maid cocked a brow, "Ehm…he…is the one that set up…the betrothal?"

Harry flicked her wrist, giggling, "O-Oh, I t-thought you meant from…like…beyond-the-grave or something!"

The girl laughed, but Harry was flooded with more questions.

He wondered if because Lucius was dead, the engagement was off. The girl sitting beside Pansy made it sound as if the marriage was still on its way; Harry then wondered if it would only be called off if all parents in charge were defunct and the following authority even cared to hear if the kids wanted it or not. Harry assumed no one really cared what the kids wanted, though.

"Uhm…would you help me pick out an outfit for tomorrow?"

The maid smiled and chirped, "Absolutely! After all, no one knows your wardrobe quite like Lila Livingston!"

Pansy flashed a friendly smile as the maid rose and walked to her closet; so her name was Lila. Harry hoped Lila would prove to be a good friend in such a scary place. The room was silent for the most part, Harry watched as Lila sifted through her hangers and examined each formal piece like a famous painting. The boy was possessed by less relevant thoughts, though. Thoughts of Draco Malfoy and how he had somehow hypnotized Harry. He remembered how harsh Draco's silver eyes had been, the pain and anguish they illuminated in the icy arena on that sole bench in the middle of absolutely nowhere. Then Harry wondered what Draco would be doing the next day; would he speak at his father's funeral? Would he stay very quiet or would he cry? Would he never talk about it; never accept it? Would he forever hate Harry Potter for it? Would the funeral be more of a meeting of utter loathing for The Chosen One than a gathering of loved ones who have suffered a loss? Harry then remembered Narcissa. Poor, poor Ms. Narcissa Malfoy and all her awful, awful pain. And Harry was to blame for that too.

_"What the hell have I done in return, I killed his father! I killed him…and because of me, Mrs. Malfoy is not only a widow, but she may end up without her son! I've killed the man she followed, her husband, her son…what have I done to the Malfoys?"_

Harry was wrong; Ms. Malfoy never had a son. She had Draco, who was just an expulsion from her body; someone she never knew. Narcissa was a queen who gave birth to the prince Draco, but after labor she ran off to the highest level of her castle and he grew older and she grew old; and like a fantasy, Harry was sure prince Draco would stand by the royal gates in hopes of catching a glimpse of the evasive stranger in his yellow-paged memory, never truly knowing her, though. Hours passed and Lila had been called down to the kitchen to help with dinner; the butlers and maids were all buzzing around keeping everything clean and healthy for Narcissa. No one ever so much as whispered her husband's name.

That would end by morning.

* * *

Draco hadn't spoken to Pansy all that morning. Harry felt extremely awkward sitting beside the silent prince, but he barely seemed bothered at all. He had that gently stoic and unreadable expression he usually wore. When he had descended the stairs that morning, his hair tied back in a short ponytail, his eyes low and foggy and fashioning a completely black suit with a silky black tie, Harry wondered if he had ever noticed just how thin Draco was before. Now that they were there Harry had to try and concentrate, but he found that when he listened everyone just talked about how wonderful Lucius was and just how terribly he would be missed. Narcissa hadn't cried yet, but Harry was counting the minutes. He was dazed; unconsciously daydreaming of the Burrow and how he would have preferred the up-beat celebration of his return over the overwrought agony and despair that was Malfoy Manor. Suddenly Harry's attention was resurrected when he spotted the boy standing up next to him. Draco stepped up to the podium that stood before the rectangular hole in the ground; his face still handsome, but indifferent. He sighed and everyone around Harry seemed to be anticipating the speech of Lucius's only son just as impatiently as himself. Draco looked up,

"My family," He started, freezing the audience, "there will be…tears today. My father is here today… I've left a chair for him." There was a short silence in which Draco had to look at his tie a moment, then 

return his blank eyes to his relatives, "He…my father, Lucius, held his mysteries close and…we all knew it was his way. As his son, I know there must be something beautiful in all of this. But…how am I supposed to make sense of what I've gained, and what I've lost? I…I don't think I'll ever find the…right words to say. I don't have a story about him or a funny conversation we had, he never gave me any advice I could pass on to you all…honestly, I never knew him that well. I always hoped we'd…talk one day. Despite my lack of a relationship with him, I was asked to speak for him today. He was evasive and clever, but he could not hide his openings. He fed me, he clothed me and gave me anything I asked for, he was more than just a stranger, a friend or a father. He was my protector, he was the love of my mother's life and he was the man who helped create me."

Harry glared…

"_I…I cannot…take t-the mark…I am in…a lot of pain…"_

"_Suck it up!"_

Draco had no protector. He had a demon, a sick and twisted sociopath that left him to raise himself. It pained, even offended Harry to have to watch Draco stand up there and lie about the man he never knew. Harry understood why no one was called, 'Dad' or 'Mom', it was too informal, it was too comfortable and too welcoming. Lucius and Narcissa were most likely betrothed like Pansy and Draco, and Draco was just a product of their teachings. Like getting a good grade after studying hard; Draco was just another number, just another name and certificate. Nothing more, nothing less.

"Lucius will always be with us."

A cousin shot out from the back, tears stretching the eyeliner down her face, "What about Harry Potter!?"

Draco cringed at her high-pitched shriek, then regained his posture, "What do you mean? What of him?"

"He killed him! Harry Potter killed Lucius! He killed your father, Draco! Why isn't he charged with murder!? Why aren't you avenging your father!?"

The blonde scowled at her, "He had every right."

Everyone fell completely silent; Harry's borrowed heart skipping a beat as he looked back at Draco. He sighed, "Harry Potter was only protecting what he cared about. There is no one to blame for this. If anything, our family should admire Potter's loyalty. You all know Lucius would have done the exact same thing for us. I don't blame Harry Potter, I don't blame Voldemort. I don't blame anyone. What happened was unfortunate and tragic. It doesn't mean that Harry Potter set out to break our hearts."

"How do you know that, you coward!? How do you know he didn't want to break us all up!?"

"Because Harry Potter doesn't use the Killing Curse."

Silence fell on them all again.

"He is too gentle. He is too scared of causing others pain. He would never take someone else's life out of anger or jealousy. He killed Lucius because he needed to. And if I were him…I would have done the same thing."

With that, he stepped down from the podium; Harry's heart thumped, his mind raced with questions and compliments, thanks all to Draco. They were all for Draco.

_"You killed my father."_

_"How could I forgive you for killing my father?!"_

_"My issue? My issue?! My ISSUE, Potter, with YOU is probably, oh, I don't know, probably just the FACT THAT YOU MURDERED MY FATHER!"_

_"I could never forgive you! You fucking lying, attention-obsessed, life-ruining, selfish, nosey fucking bastard! Everyone always gave you exactly what you've wanted, you always got exactly what you needed! You haven't worked for a single thing on your own! You always have to be number one! You always have to be the savior! You're just a freak with a scar on your fucking head, what the fuck's so special about you!? I fucking hate you! I loathe every inch of you from the top of your rat's-nest hair to the nasty-ripped soles of your shoes with each and every fiber and cell in my entire body!"_

_"You wouldn't die if I asked you to, Potter."_

So what had Harry just heard? That Harry was too good a person to kill? He was meant to be admired and let go without charge?

_"That's because you don't know the real Draco Malfoy! You never saw how he cried or how he screamed and writhed in pain! You never saw when he tried to protect __your__ pride, __your __side of the story, __your__ fate!" _

* * *

Harry entered the girl's room with a sigh. That day had been long and returning to the dark, gloomy castle of the Malfoy's was all he could hope for. He looked up to see on his bed bundle of something. He walked over and pushed away a curl from her ear before picking up the bouquet of beautiful flowers. Harry picked up a note lying beside it, it read…

___Pan,_

___Tied with a ribbon you gave me in our first year is Bindweed and Scarlet Pimpernel. Bindweed, you probably haven't heard, in this white shade represents regret. The Pimpernel, it's blue, but purple by the middle and it represents heroism or a great epiphany. _

___I want to see you later. I want you to talk to me again. _

___Draco_


	12. Never Got Such A Thrill

**Another update! Sorry it took me so long, but I hope you guys like it! Thank you to all reviews and adds so far, it's been so so so so wonderful!**

* * *

Harry stepped out of the girl's room, peeking out the door to find Lila. She grinned as Pansy was sent flying back with shock; he hadn't heard anyone approaching the door.

"L-Lila! What are you doing!?"

The maid giggled, "I saw Master Draco come in here earlier! What did he do? What did he say? I heard he made quite a speech about Harry Potter, can you give me the details!?"

Harry chuckled, "Alright, alright…well, this girl in the back practically strangled Draco for not killing Potter; he told her Harry Potter's bravery and loyalty should be rewarded with admiration rather than anger and that if he had been Potter, he'd have done the same thing."

Lila smiled sadly; catching Harry's attention as she inquired, "Did that upset you much?"

"Uhm…no."

"Have you dropped all suspicions then?"

Harry cocked a brow, "What suspicions?"

"That Master Draco is in love with Potter?"

Harry's mind went blank.

…what?

_"I love him so much. He doesn't love me, though."_

_"I think that he might really want you, Harry, to be the one who he reveals himself to."_

_"I know that he honors you with a type of respect that from a Malfoy…well…it's shocking. I know he cares a lot more about you than he's willing to show."_

"U-Uhm…I…uh…"

"Girls?" Came Gerald's voice from the door.

They both looked to him, his soft expression friendly as he chided, "Gossiping is unladylike, Ms. Lila."

She rolled her eyes, "It's the only fun I can get my hands on around here!"

Gerald smirked as she approached him, patting her head he told her, "They need your help in the kitchen so leave your fun for after work."

She stuck her tongue out and left the room; Gerald and Pansy's eyes met before he bowed. When he rose he seemed sad, muttering,

"I'm sorry to bother you with this, but Draco is alone in his room right now…he did not order me here, but I cannot help but feel he desires your company."

Harry bowed the girl's head, "Thank you, Gerald. I will go join him now."

He nodded and left the room; it took a few moments of deep breathing before Harry was able to leave Pansy's room and approach Draco's door. It was slightly agape, so he took it as an invitation. Draco had changed into his jeans, but was still wearing his black collared shirt, the bottom buttons undone and his hair was a little messed as he sat on his floor. Pansy closed the door behind her and stepped towards him, sitting down on the floor with him and interviewing,

"What are you doing down here?"

"Analyzing."

"Why not analyze on your bed?"

"If I'm not on a completely flat surface my reasoning ability drops by thirty percent."

"Why do you think that is?"

"I never cared to investigate that fact any further than that."

Pansy's lids were heavy and Harry was glad he was too tired to fight. The blonde faced Pansy completely, telling her, "When I was in the hospital wing…I was so terrified that you had been hurt. I was so scared that I had lost you somehow…Pan, you're…you're the only one who ever…tried to know me."

"Well, I'm going to marry you, I suppose I have good reason to get to know you, Draco."

The boy lifted a brow, completely un-amused at first, but then his polished indifference transformed into his tamed smile, "Yes. I suppose you would."

There was a short silence before Harry told the boy, "I didn't mean all that I said back there. I think I'm upset about Lucius, about your cousin, about your mother…in truth, Draco…" To Harry's dismay he felt tears fogging her pretty eyes which morphed Draco's expression to horror, "In truth, I'm scared that I don't know you at all, Draco and that's why I got angry, I'm sorry…I'm sorry, I don't want you to feel sad or alone, I just want to know you, I want to understand you better…I feel like I don't know you at all…"

Just as he went to brush away the tears from her eyes he was shocked to feel Draco's lanky arms wrap around her in a tight embrace, his full lips against her ear as he told her,

"Don't cry. You know I hate to see you cry. Don't be sad, Pan…now that the war is over…we have all the time in the world to learn each other, okay?"

"What about Lucius?" He begged.

Draco sounded confused over her shoulder, "What of him?"

"He engaged us! Now that he's dead, now that he's gone, are you going to get rid of me?"

Draco pulled away, holding the girl's shoulders before taking one hand away to wipe away a stray tear that fell down her cheek as he answered, "Don't speak such rubbish, Pan. You know I'll never leave you. It's been you and me since I was born and it will be you and me until I die, do you hear me?"

_"Even now, he's been promised to marry me since we were born, but he never argued…never tried to get rid of me or trade me. He never complained. Not once."_

"Yes, Draco…"

Harry was confused, terribly, terribly confused over the entire situation. When he agreed to being Pansy for the girl's own benefit, he thought he would see the Draco he always knew; the Draco who cursed Harry Potter and his friends, the one who ranted about 'mud-bloods' and walked and talked like he owned the world. He figured he would see the Prince of Hypocrisy, the spoiled Malfoy Royalty he had always known Draco to be, but he hadn't. He hadn't witnessed anyone like that. Harry was finally realizing he had never truly known Draco at all. The only person who came close was Pansy Parkinson and Harry never would have known had he not taken the one-time chance to be her. He never would have seen the Prince Charming, the flattering and wonderful Draco Malfoy who left her in a puddle on the floor. He never would have truly understood the utter tragedy and heart-break Draco lived in every day, unless he lived it for himself.

Oh no, it was happening again. He was sucked in by Draco's eyes; their luster was luring him into the steamed waterfall that was his iris. The metallic poetry it created by simply glancing to either of the girl's eyes astounded Harry, left him a rag-doll willing to do anything for anyone at anytime if only to stay and continue to gaze into the beautiful desert of silver in the prince's eyes. The blonde's voice finally came into focus again,

"Pan…would you like to join me for some tea?"

The girl blushed and smiled, "Ehm…yes, I'd love to."

With that he rose and offered his hand to her to help her up; Harry took the invitation and followed the boy downstairs. They entered the living room to find Lila waiting, grinning at seeing the two together. Pansy blushed, catching onto Lila's flirtatious presumption as she let slip from her tight smile,

"Master Draco, would you like me to get you tea?"

"No."

They all looked to the boy as he stepped forward, continuing, "We can make it ourselves. I'm feeling somewhat restless, I don't mind making it."

Lila's jaw was dropped and twitching to find the right words as he and Pansy walked by. Harry looked to the boy, smiling, "That was a bit unlike you."

Draco looked to her, "If you're going to change, I want to change too."

The fast-paced thumping in the girl's chest reappeared for umpteenth occasion, forcing Harry to look away from Draco. They came up to the door separating the kitchen from the living room; they, of course, walked through and up to the counter under the cabinets of glasses. Draco reached up and took down two big mugs that, even while using both hands, neither could completely hold. Draco took out two boxes and in one there was lemon tea while the other was unidentified, but smelled like flowers. The blonde perked a brow, "Well?"

"Uhmm…the lemon."

Draco seemed surprised; yet another mistake Harry would have to take credit for. Harry simply could not think like Pansy did; he wasn't a girl! Draco unraveled the packet, putting it in her mug and tying the white little string around the mug's handle, which Harry couldn't help thinking was strangely adorable. Draco chose the lemon too; catching Harry's interest before Draco set up the tea-pot. He looked back to the girl and told her, "Let's sit until it's ready, then."

She nodded, following him to the small, round table only a few feet away from the counter. The blonde was looking at her like he knew something she didn't; that worried Harry. Draco sighed,

"Well, tell me what else has changed, then."

"What?"

"What else, Pan, what else has changed about you. I want to know everything."

How the Hell was Harry supposed to know each and every difference?! The only way to escape the situation was to not give a full answer;

"Don't rush things, Draco. In time I'm sure you'll see everything. Like you said, we have all the time in the world."

The prince's lips pursed, "Fair enough, Pan."

Harry mimicked Draco's suspicious expression, causing the boy to change his position, which Harry copied. Finally, Draco caught on and smirked at the challenge; "Once I know everything, Pan, I want you to tell me in the end, what it was that made you change."

Her face melted into seriousness, "If in the end, that will matter."

He realized he caught Draco's intrigue, "How do you mean?"

"I mean, if in the end, you'll want to know what made me change. What if, in the end, the changes are satisfactory and you don't want to change a thing about it; wouldn't knowing what made me change in the first place, change me again?"

"Why would you change again?"

"Because if it is something like the war ending that changed me, then that's a permanent change. If it's something like the depression over your father's death, I can change again once I'm happy. There might be severe consequences for even wondering why."

"There always are."

At that, the teapot whistled and called Draco from his seat to pour for the two. They sat in a comfortable silence for a while before the blonde inquired, "What would you like to do now?"

Harry thought on that a moment; what is it that a girl would suggest? He had made far too many mistakes already, he couldn't suggest something like Quidditch or visiting the Burrow; yes, Harry was quite sure those suggestions may give him away. What is it that Pansy would want to do? What did he even know about Pansy?

_"Not to mention I'm a wiz-kid in the kitchen and potions. Kinda goes hand in hand when you think on it."_

Of course! Baking! That was girly and pertained to Pansy's talents! Harry smiled,

"Let's make cookies."

Draco choked mid-way through a gulp of tea, "W-what? You know I have no idea what I'm going in the kitchen…"

"I'll teach you!" Harry chirped; he was sure then that Pansy might kill him when he came back to Hogwarts.

* * *

"Do we even have raisins?"

"No. Just put in more chocolate chips in their place, they won't be missed, no one actually likes raisins in their cookies anyway."

Draco rolled his eyes, "I thought you knew what you were doing!"

Harry sighed; he had suggested baking because he considered himself a genius for remembering a hobby of the girl he was, but forgot that he is not truly that girl and knew as much about cooking as he did taming Banshees. Harry had even gone so far as to borrow frilly aprons from Lila; mostly out of humor because he simply couldn't pass up the change to see Draco in one. They had four gigantic trays in front of them, the oven pre-heating and they still weren't half-way through the recipe, as they never checked to see if they had all of the ingredients before beginning. Harry was re-reading the instructions for the eighteenth time while Draco was flicking at lost chocolate chips that could be found here and there on the counter. One accidently hit Pansy's face, forcing Harry to glare at the boy; Draco immediately shot his eyes wide open and put his hands up,

"Sorry, sorry, sorry; that was by accident, I swear."

Harry watched as Draco hesitantly sank back into his bored expression and started flicking at the chocolate again, that is, until a bomb of flour and sugar smacked him in the face. He stood up straight, causing Harry to chuckle as he retorted,

"Sorry, that was an accident."

Draco reached for the bag of chocolate chips as ammo, and in defense, Harry grabbed their bowl of sorted powders. Draco began firing the chips like bullets and Harry wincing and looking away with a wide grin tried to aim as best he could, the recipe at Draco. The first timer started going off; the second one after that as they both didn't know how long to let the oven pre-heat and Draco was convinced the first timer didn't work properly; the third one went off shortly after. They were chasing each other all around the kitchen and once Draco realized he was out of chocolate chips, he dove past Pansy and took hold of the small bowl with eggs in it and tossed it at the girl, concluding the fight with a shocked scream. Just at that, Lila and Gerald walked in; both of their jaws dropped. The kitchen was a disaster; the oven was open, allowing the steam to waft through the room, three timers were ringing loudly, powder was still slowly falling and settling in the air while water and milk was on the floor and even ceiling; chocolate chips decorated the walls and tiled floor and all the evidence was plastered to both teenagers. Pansy's hair dripping with yolk, Draco's face completely white with powder and both wore frilly aprons covered in God-Knows-What.

Gerald looked like he may have suffered from an aneurism while Lila couldn't even comprehend the scene. Draco's black, collared-shirt could no long be identified as such, but helped him wipe away the powder from his eyes and brows as he announced,

"Well…uh…I think…we should…go."

Draco took Pansy's dainty wrist and quickly led her away from the room, running past the butler and maid. He took Pansy into his room, leaving a trail of white that marked him like a target on the floor. Harry was mortified; what if he ruined Pansy's hair!? She would kill him! Harry reached up at the top of her head, touching at the sticky egg as he muttered, "Fuck, Draco, this shit'll be in my hair for a fucking—"

A sound…

Harry looked up to see Draco's hand at his mouth, looking at the girl with low eyes. The girl glanced to both sides, "…what?"

Then it happened; the prince burst into hysterical laughter, so hard and sincere he fell to the floor, holding his stomach. He was leaving a blanket of chocolate and flour, but Harry couldn't care less; the boy's eyes were closed shut, his brows turned inwardly, his cheeks glowing red through the sheet of white while his pearly teeth and pointed canines stuck out in an ear-to-ear grin.

_"He doesn't laugh."_

_"…sorry?"_

_"Not like he used to."_

The girl smiled; a break-through.


	13. Something So Simple

**Hope you like your latest update! Thank you to all adds and reviews, it's been absolutely wonderful, the support is so so so so appreciated!**

* * *

The kitchen fiasco hadn't given them any trouble and before remembering Narcissa's condition Harry was shocked at the fact neither of them were 'grounded' or anything. They weren't even made to help clean the gigantic mess, which Harry later felt bad about, but he had been having too much fun at the time to care. After a thorough shower Harry plopped onto the girl's bed and thought about how wonderful it was to see Draco laugh so hard, involuntarily. Harry was finally starting to feel like he was accomplishing important tasks in healing Draco. At that thought Harry fought with himself, trying to convince himself that it was a mess up in his brain's wording; Harry Potter couldn't heal Draco Malfoy, only Pansy Parkinson could and only she should because her more than anyone deserved his love. That night, rest came easily and Harry woke up early, showering and taking his shots on schedule; he slipped on a light blue turtle-neck dress with quarter-length sleeves and matching converse shoes. He made note to tell Pansy the next time he saw her that her wardrobe was tasteful.

He went to Draco's room to find the door closed, so immediately backed away and descended the stairs. He was surprised to see the boy entering the living room with letters in his hands; he had gotten the mail rather than the butlers. He was sifting through them and picked one up, placing the rest on a long, mahogany table that the back of their middle couch rested against. The girl smiled, admiring Draco's athletic arms that were perfectly revealed by the navy blue rolled-up sleeves. Draco must have sensed her 'air' and turned to her, smiling and welcoming,

"Good morning, Pan. You look lovely today."

The girl blushed, "Thank you, Draco. Navy suits you well too."

They both looked away with pink cheeks, Draco clearing his throat in hopes of clearing the red from his face with it before he announced,

"I got a letter from Hogwarts and I happen to know Potter's getting one of the same too. I was warned about it before I left."

"Oh? And what's it about?"

Draco shrugged and sighed, "Eh, I've just got to keep going to detention with him. You see, I didn't mention to you what really happened, but he started up a scene in Potions a few weeks ago-"

A vein in the girl's head twitched with aggravation;_ You started it, jerk._

"And ever since Snape's been forcing us to go into this room where we 'have' to get along, otherwise we're crushed. He's been ranting about how we have to learn to get along and understand each other to be civil. Anyway, Dumbledore found out about it and was so happy someone was taking action about our…un-civil relationship that he told Snape to continue our detention."

Harry dreaded that; Draco was so terrible to him at school. He wished Draco would treat him like he did Pansy; complimenting and soft-spoken, sensitive and not confrontational at all. He wondered if Dumbledore knew he was at Malfoy Manor and he knew Draco would explain if he simply asked; he hoped the professor would not interfere or ever so much as mention it to Harry. He finished leaving the second floor and approached the blonde boy, mentioning,

"I'm starving."

Draco made a funny face; one Harry recognized as an expression he often used as a boy too. The face was that of a man's morning-hunger; as one, Harry knew that a boy's stomach is essentially a black hole, so waking in the morning meant being at the brink of starvation. The prince nodded in agreement,

"Lila's making eggs and French toast. You're alright with that, aren't you?"

"Oh, of course, that sounds wonderful! When did she say she'd have it ready?"

Draco looked to the clock above the fireplace, then back to Pansy as he replied, "In about ten minutes. I've been a bit restless over it too."

"So, the letter is a warning telling you to continue going to detention?"

"Yeah. Dumb. As if I need another reason to hate school."

The girl made a hum of agreement; "I suppose I'm jealous of Potter."

Draco scrunched his nose cutely, earning a thump of Pansy's heart before he responded,

"Potter? Why's that?"

The girl smiled guiltily, "Cause he steals away time I could spend with you."

Draco simpered lovingly, "Love, he can take away my time, but he can't take away my wedding band. Don't let Potter cause you any heartache."

She grinned, "Draco, can we go out flying today?"

Draco turned with a brow perched high; it must have been un-called for, but Harry had missed his broom so much and Malfoy Manor was such a gloomy, painful place, he wished he could run off to the Burrow and play Quidditch. Instead, though, the fascination Draco's hidden existence created in Harry was enough to make him want to stay. The boy inquired,

"Weren't you the one who said we shouldn't fly the other day, because it was a bit showy at a time like this?"

Harry mentally slapped himself, but soon melted to shock; it had been three days already. That meant he only had two days left. He only had two days to be Pansy Parkinson and say whatever it is he wanted to Draco with no repercussions, he only had two days to search for all the answers he wanted. Something made him nervous, though and he silently prayed he had enough polyjuice shots to have him last the next two days. He immediately looked back at Draco, shrugging,

"Don't you suppose…we've been sad long enough?"

The blonde's face fell into a jolted expression, replying softly, "I…I…"

At that, Lila entered and announced, "Breakfast is ready!"

Pansy skipped ahead of Draco, looking back at his jarred face, smiling sweetly before telling him,

"I hate to see you so sad, Draco. Come, we'll eat and then we'll go out and play."

Harry waited until the prince's handsome face shrank into a shy, tilted smile before turning the girl's back and prancing into the kitchen. Draco soon followed after.

* * *

"I don't remember you being able to fly so well, Pan!" Draco chuckled.

Harry was happy to hear the sincerity in Draco's recent laughter, and the genuine look in his smile that morning. Something told Harry he would miss seeing the boy like this. The Chosen One waved a wrist at the blonde, muttering, "Oh, I really haven't gotten too much better!"

"Pfft! Last time you could barely get off the ground!"

Harry wasn't even aware of that incident and still resented Draco's mocking. But it wasn't ill-natured like it was towards Harry Potter; it was playful and caring. And Draco had been unusually gentle with the girl all that day; after breakfast they raced off to the broom closet and took two, leaving to fly. They flew very far off, past the charcoal bench in the middle of nowhere and far, far beyond that. They landed at the top of one of the frosty hills they had been soaring over and although they were only there a few moments, two birds joined them. They were off-white with long, flowing tails and their favorite sport was poking at the back of Draco's head; now, normally Harry would imagine Draco to become infuriated at nature's teasing, but he just laughed. Pansy was laughing with him as one of the birds came over to her and started bobbing its head all around her. Draco's bleached teeth caught Harry's attention every time his smile widened; he truly was like the vampires they read about. He was light-skinned, platinum-blonde, grey-eyed, lightly freckled, tall and lean and his canines were long and pointed.

It only proved to make Draco Malfoy all the more intriguing to Harry. As Pansy's stare was finally received by Draco, his giggle minimized to a smile as his flying attacker landed on his outstretched index finger; he looked at the bird and announced to Pansy,

"You just watch, Pan. One day I'm gonna get out of here."

Harry had slowly gotten used to the girl's fast-paced heart, but something was different this time. Looking at Draco, the small flurries falling all around him as he smiled at the beautiful creature he so gently held; his eyes were light, almost making him appear blind while his cheeks were a bit pinker than usual due to his smiling and laughing while his hair was a little messy and some fine strands fell over his pointed, boyish, handsome face. He looked to the girl and that's when something break-taking occurred. Draco's irises shrank and jumped back, and when they did, they were a flame-blue. The color was so enchanting, leaving Harry to imagine the sky and ocean pulling towards each other and wrapping around one another; it was an aquamarine so Earth-shattering, it seemed all the grey and sorrow was gone and replaced by the forecast of a glorious summer morning. It was a gorgeous shade of aqua, unlike anything he had ever seen before and he knew it then.

_"Ehm…can you tell me when you knew you were in love with him?"_

_"I suppose…when I saw his eyes."_

_"Love at first sight?"_

_"No, not really…I mean…the first time I really saw them…I hope someday…you'll know what I'm talking about."_

He was in love with Draco Malfoy.

The heavenly prince had his vibrant eyes low, smiling timidly as he added,

"And I'll take you with me."

Pansy took a step back, her hand to her thumping chest as she asked breathlessly, "S-sorry? What?"

Draco chuckled in the princely way he did, repeating, "I said I want you to see me get out of this place someday. And I want to take you with me when I do."

Harry's mind was racing, it was too filled with his repetitive confession of love to hear anything else. The utter horror of realizing his infatuation was filling up all the space in his brain, forcing him to press,

"W-why me? Why?"

Draco let the bird fly away with the other and took the girl's hand from her chest and put it to his own broad plates as he murmured,

"You've changed, Pan. And I know what it is now."

Harry couldn't concentrate on asking questions as he was turned into a puddle at the very look in Draco's Ravenclaw eyes as he continued,

"You've given me hope again, Pan. And it was in something as simple as seeing you smile and laugh and you…you don't mind being silent, you don't mind making mistakes around me anymore…and I don't know if that's all that's changed, but all I want is to know more…because everything is beautiful and everything is wonderful now that you hope again too…Pan…I can't say what has completely changed, but I know that…I love it."

Her eyes were wide and her expression was almost worn in the startle she painted on, but Draco didn't seem to mind at all. His eyes were always hypnotizing, but now they were even more so and Harry didn't know if it was his epiphany or Draco's words that made him burst into tears. The girl crawled up against Draco, throwing herself into his arms as she sobbed into his chest, just blubbering his name over and over into his chest. Her dainty hands gripped tighter when he felt the blonde's strong arms return her embrace, slowly beginning to rock with her;

"That's not something to be sad over, is it?"

She laughed behind the tears, pressing her tingling cheek closely to his pea-coat as she replied,

"No…I'm not sad at all."

He was, though.

"_I could never forgive you! You fucking lying, attention-obsessed, life-ruining, selfish, nosey fucking bastard! Everyone always gave you exactly what you've wanted, you always got exactly what you needed! You haven't worked for a single thing on your own! You always have to be number one! You always have to be the savior! You're just a freak with a scar on your fucking head, what the fuck's so special about you!? I fucking hate you! I loathe every inch of you from the top of your rat's-nest hair to the nasty-ripped soles of your shoes with each and every fiber and cell in my entire body!"_

Because Draco didn't love Harry.

_"I hate you."_

_"Potter…you're disgusting."_

_"I loathe every inch of you from the top of your rat's-nest hair to the nasty-ripped soles of your shoes with each and every fiber and cell in my entire body!"_

_"I hate you."_

_"I Hate You."_

_**"I Hate You."**_

He loved Pansy.


	14. There Will Be Beauty From Pain, Carry On

**Hope you guys like your latest chapter! Thank you all for the adds and reviews so far, it's so so so so so appreciated!**

* * *

"Veela are women, not men."

"You don't know that for sure! You could be!"

"Could be what? A girl!?"

Pansy laughed, "No, no, no! I mean, if you were a Veela it would make sense. You're blonde and handsome and when you get angry you can throw fire balls."

Draco smirked, "Cute, Pan, very cute."

"Nunh-unh!" Harry fought, "I mean it! What if?"

The blonde shrugged, putting his tea down on his carpeted floor as he responded,

"Well, clearly I'm not a Veela; if I were, I wouldn't have a choice in who I love."

Harry didn't know much about Veela, so he pressed, "You wouldn't have a choice?"

"No. Veela are creatures of darkness whose only purposes are mischief and seduction. It's a type of punishment, you know, the 'catch' for being so irresistible and eternally beautiful. They can never choose a lover; it's like being betrothed. There is someone in the world you are meant to be with and no one else."

Pansy looked away, "Well…isn't that kind of nice?"

"What's nice about that?"

"Knowing…knowing that no matter what, there is someone in the world who you can love? That there is someone who can make your life brilliant?"

Draco smiled softly, his cheeks flustering lightly; Harry had found it easy to talk to Draco now. They had spent nearly all of their time together and they were going to leave for school the next morning; Harry couldn't help but notice the sadness that washed over him at the thought of returning to his position in Draco's life at school. He didn't want to leave Draco. He wanted to stay Pansy forever. Because he loved Draco and Draco loved Pansy and no one in the world was as deserving of Draco's love as Pansy Parkinson. After another day of making ridiculous errors in dialogue and situation that Pansy never would make, Harry eventually found that being girly and gaining loving attention from Draco was something he adored. Getting Draco to smile and laugh and blush and compliment; it made it all worth the struggle. Draco sighed before stating,

"That's a wonderful way of looking at it. You're right."

She turned back to the prince as he finished, "Having one person in the world to love, no matter what…that does sound nice."

Pansy's body leaned onto Draco's, her legs crossed and beside her while her head rested on Draco's shoulder. There was a silent moment before Draco unexpectedly responded to the contact and planted his cheek against her hair. Her face filled with blood as the boy turned his face and pressed his nose against her head, breathing in deeply then inquiring,

"Did the yolk cause you much trouble?"

She smiled, her dainty hand reaching up and brushing his cheek before muttering,

"No. I overreacted…you know…you looked very cute in that apron."

Draco chuckled, replying, "Yes, I've been told that I work a frill."

The girl laughed with him; after all, it was Harry's last chance to laugh with Draco. He pulled away from the boy, looking into his azure irises that still shook the Earth around him as he responded quietly,

"I want to talk to you seriously."

"You know you can tell me anything, Pan."

She rested her forehead against his, averting her eyes as she told him,

"I want you to know I didn't mean what I said. I want you…I want you to really trust me. I want you to know that I…I know you're not empty…"

"Do you remember what I told you?"

Harry moved the girl's eyes back to the baby-blues and thought a very long few minutes before answering,

"You don't hate me."

"That's right. You trust me, don't you?"

His breath so close to her lips was making her mouth water, his aura so inviting and adoring while his eyes flickered back and forth between hers, insisting she had his full attention. She rose her hands to touch his beautiful face, to assure he was real; casting his strange Malfoy Magic on her again, she was frozen as his hands returned the gestures. He leaned forward and cradled the crook of her neck as his cute nose cuddled against her, their brows brushing past each other as he murmured,

"You trust me, don't you?"

Their eyes met again as she told him readily, "Of course I do. I trust you with my life."

"Do you really?"

"I'd put my life in your hands in a heartbeat. Don't doubt me…I mean it."

Harry felt a twitch in her shoulders; they had been acting up that night as well. Harry was horrified that morning to find he was back to his old self; the potions wearing thin. The pains of transforming back into a boy would start in his shoulders and back, then work their way around the rest of his body. He backed away slowly, realizing he shouldn't stay much longer as he only had two more shots; one for the morning and the train-ride back. That pained Harry further; he only wanted to spend time with Draco, he wanted to never be Harry Potter because his very name meant resentment and pain to Draco Malfoy. Harry Potter's identity was tainted with a disgusting tag of hatred; so should Draco Malfoy declare Harry Potter a work of deviltry and besetment, he would rid himself of that name and use someone else's. He would rather be no one than be a nuisance to the Prince Charming that left him a puddle on the floor.

"Why did you move away?"

She blushed, still looking away, "My…uh…my hair is oily today; I didn't want you in my hair."

He clearly knew she was lying and insisted, "You know, I think you're beautiful."

The girl's heart was pounding again; Draco had a really stunning way of doing that to the girl.

_"…but he has always told me that although he doesn't love me, he thinks I am beautiful…"_

"Thank you, Draco…you know…I'm sad that we're going back to school."

He tilted his head, "Yeah? Why is that?"

"Well…this vacation was so relaxing…and I went from knowing absolutely nothing about you…to having a really…profound feeling of understanding. I feel…like I got to know the real you."

The blonde flashed his canines, "Well, you're going to marry me; I suppose you'd have good reason to know me."

Pansy smiled at his recycling of her words; he was a good listener. His expression very suddenly changed, though, into one conflicted and searching her face for something Harry wasn't quite sure of. The prince's aqua gaze held fast to her as he inquired,

"Pan…can I tell you…a secret?"

She nodded slowly, "You can tell me anything."

"I…" He looked away, his face repeating its morbid smile of self-hatred from days prior, "I…Harry Potter…he…he didn't kill Lucius."

Pansy averted her eyes, "I'm sorry, Draco, but just because you don't want it to be true, Harry did kill your father."

"No, Pan." They made eye-contact again and Harry noticed the water working its way from the ocean in the boy's eyes, "No, you don't understand…I know Potter didn't kill Lucius, I know he wasn't the one who killed him because…because…Pan, because, I'm the one who did."

There was a heavy moment of silence before Harry stammered, "W-what?"

"Harry didn't use the Killing Curse; everyone knows he's not even capable of stringing the word together! I killed him. I killed Lucius and I let Potter take the fall…"

Harry felt the burden of murder finally lifted from his shoulders as he inquired, "I…why? Why would you kill your father?"

"Because, it was him or Harry…and I had to make a decision."

Pansy's shocked, wide eyes were worrying Draco as the girl pressed, "Draco…you killed your father…and you sacrificed your life…for Harry Potter?"

The blonde held onto his temples, "He saved me, Pan. He…he used to be the only reason I hoped at all…like you said, I may have been the one to save him during the battle, Pan, but…he saved me…my whole life…"

_"You wouldn't die if I asked you to, Potter."_

Harry understood now, why the distain was dripping from Draco's voice. Harry wouldn't die if Draco asked him to; but Draco would die if Harry so asked him to.

He looked up to the girl, his eyes still glassy as he finished, "…he gave me a reason to see tomorrow. He gave me a purpose. He saved me first. That's why…that's why I couldn't let him die. I couldn't let Lucius kill him…because if I lost Harry…then…I wouldn't have been able to face the next day…the hope of a brighter tomorrow…would have been snuffed out…"

Harry felt his soul rise in a pirouette at hearing 'Harry' slide off the tongue of his fiancé. The prince shifted a bit to get closer to Pansy, cupping her cheek softly as he told her,

"But now you…like some…sign from Heaven or something, now that the brighter tomorrow is here to stay, all the hope I found in Harry's very existence…it all…fled right to you. It's all in you now and you're all I think about; I haven't been able to sleep or think clearly, you're just everywhere and I…I…" Draco's brows were curving more tightly as the girl's back ached in a warning hurt, "Pan…can I…would you let me kiss you?"

The girl's back shot another ominous pain through her back, forcing Harry to stand and nearly stumble back. Draco shot up, following Pansy towards the door as Pansy insisted,

"Draco, y-you're not in your right mind-" Harry felt the girl's back hit the door, she glanced back, then to Draco again as the blonde slowly approached her…

"Pan, don't you want to kiss me? Weren't you always the one who wanted me? Has that changed as well? Do I have to win you over?"

"N-no, I just…I just-" Another sharp pain silenced Harry and he realized he would be turning back into himself in a few minutes; he had to escape the boy. Draco was closing in hesitantly, his eyes still watery,

"Pan, are you scared of me? Are you shocked that I can use the Killing Curse? Because, Pan, I would never kill again, please, please believe me; I only did it to protect Harry, I never…I never would have if I didn't need to…"

"I-I can't handle this right now, Draco, I-I have to… I have to…" She turned and struggled to keep balance as she entered the hall. Draco chased after her, calling,

"Pan, why won't you kiss me? Please, Pan, please, I know…I know you've been jealous of Potter for all that he gave me, all that you weren't able to give me…but now you are, Pan, can't you see that you've given me the hope I've needed? Can't you see that you make me want to wake up tomorrow? I want to wake up and spend tomorrow with you, I want you to run away with me and I want to be free from Narcissa and all that Lucius left behind! So why won't you kiss me, Pan?" He pled.

Harry had reached the girl's door and half-way through the threshold he heard Draco cry out,

"Don't you love me, Pansy?! Didn't you love me first? Aren't you in love with me? Don't you want to marry me?! Don't you love me?"

Harry felt the girl's ebony curls straightening and falling around his face which began to shift. He shut the door just as Draco reached it; he pounded on it desperately as he begged,

"Pan, please! Please, Pan, open the door and look at me! Please!"

Harry's transformation was painful, but quick; his back on the door kept Draco out and to Harry's dismay he could hear tears in Draco's voice,

"Please, Pan, don't you still love me? Please, Pan, please tell me you love me! Please…please…" The prince's fists finally silenced their attack; Harry wanted to assure Draco that his love was returned, but Harry Potter's voice would escape and so he stayed silent as the prince sobbed behind the door. He heard and felt Draco rest against the door, his crying audible over his struggling voice,

"I **love** you…I love you, _please_…please, don't run, Pan, don't run from me…please…don't leave me alone here, Pan, you don't need to love me back if you don't, you don't have to, just please, _please_ let me love you, Pan, please…please…without you, I'm _nothing_…I've got no purpose if you leave me, Pan, please…"

Harry's head pushed against the door, thin tears falling down his face as he slid down the door with Draco. Draco was crouched before the blocked entrance, his fists low and barely putting any pressure as tears cascaded down his face. He blubbered,

"I wouldn't…I wouldn't have told you the truth…if I knew the truth would take you away…please…don't run away…please…not from _me_…"

But Harry had to run. He had to run from Draco, because he loved Draco. The prince was not his to love, though. And so he would stay silent, he would listen to Draco escape the world of silence and pain he lived in behind the door and he would run.


	15. Oh, Desperado

**Hiya! It's your new update! It's pretty long and I hope you guys like it!**

**WARNING****: THIS IS NOT THE END, IT IS NOT THE END, THIS ISN'T THE END, DIESES IST NICHT DAS ENDE, CE N'EST PAS L'EXTRÉMITÉ, CIÒ NON È L'ESTREMITÀ, ÉSTE NO ES EL EXTREMO, ΑΥΤΟ ΔΕΝ ΕΙΝΑΙ ΤΟ ΤΕΛΟΣ, ESTA NÃO É A EXTREMIDADE!!**

**HAVE I MADE THIS CLEAR? BECAUSE EVERY FANFICTION I WRITE, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE WHO IS 'SO SAD IT'S THE END' WHEN IT ISN'T THE END YET AND I TELL THEM, 'READ WHAT'S IN BOLD AND CAPS, STUPID-McSTUPIDFACEington!' So…yeah. It's not the last chapter. **

**I'll try and update again tonight, I've started the next one. Anyway, hope you like it, thank you to all reviews and adds and PMs and Fanart!! It's so so so so so so so so so so appreciated!**

* * *

The pounding rain was what Harry woke up to in Pansy's bed, stretching his strong, male arms. He never would have thought he loved his body so much unless he spent a week in someone else's. He had a new-found appreciation for himself, which he feared would feed an undeserved ego. He sighed, curling his toes as his body fell limp under the puffy blankets. His blinks were slow, heavy as he turned his head to the right; spotting the door rekindled all of the memories of that past night. He sprang out of the bed and in a rush, forgetting who he was at that moment, he opened the door. The hall was empty, but when Harry glanced down at the floor, there was something akin to an imprint left on the space next to the door. He bent down and planted his hand on the spot; it was warm. Had Draco stayed there all night? That thought only proved to make him feel worse. He slowly closed the door and locked it, looking at his feet as he remembered the sound of Draco's soft crying against the door. He remembered how beautiful his true eyes were, his hopeful eyes, the eyes that laughed and smiled and loved life. How could someone not fall in love? The way he was insightful and intelligent and well-spoken, quiet and so very secretive. How could someone avoid falling in love? The way his blonde hair was just long enough to fit in a ponytail as platinum strings fell in front of his eyes at times.

Harry sighed and tried to ignore his brain, spewing all of the evidence and background, trying desperately to explain how and when it happened. Harry knew when it happened, though. He looked into Draco Malfoy's eyes and it was all over. He would lose himself forever in them. He looked out her window to see the rain pouring down; the sky so grey that it reminded him of something that felt far away. He suddenly heard Lila's voice outside the door,

"Pansy? Are you up?" She jiggled the knob, making Harry's heart bump in anxiety, "Why's the door locked? I came to wake you!"

Harry ran off to the suitcase beside the bed, taking one of the last two shots as Lila banged fervently on the entrance. The transformation was quick, as always, so Harry very soon after yelled back,

"S-Sorry, Lila! I'm up, I'm up, sorry!"

She unlocked the door for the maid and Lila came prancing in, huffing, "Gee, Pansy, way to be subtle about wanting me around!"

She curved her brows, "N-No! That's not it at all!"

Lila smiled, sitting on Pansy's bed, "Oh, I know; tell me, what is it that happened with you and Master Draco last night?"

Pansy stepped back, "I-uh-how do you know something happened?"

Lila rolled her eyes, slumping her face in her palm, "He's been gloomy all morning! He's outside smoking where Narcissa won't spot him. Not that she'd say anything; he should know by now, he barely exists here. Normally, I'd think that a horrid thing to say, but he should realize he's got the freedom to do whatever he wants."

_"Now, Gerald, you've known me since I was an infant…surely you know by now I barely…nevermind. How much longer until we're home?"_

Harry's mind ached as he looked away, "He is out…smoking…where?"

Lila smirked, "Come now, Pansy, you don't plan on going out in the pouring rain with only pajamas, do you? I'll set up your outfit; you go shower."

Pansy nodded hesitantly, leaving the room for the bathroom. Harry followed orders and washed her hair for the last time; he remembered feeling up there at all the yolk and chunks of powder. Draco was more fun that he would have imagined. Harry rested Pansy's head against the tiled wall, reminiscing of the short while he spent at Malfoy Manor…

_"I…I don't hate it when it's quiet like this. I don't hate you. I don't ever want to hate you. I never will."_

_"He is too gentle. He is too scared of causing others pain. He would never take someone else's life out of anger or jealousy. He killed Lucius because he needed to. And if I were him…I would have done the same thing."_

_"If I'm not on a completely flat surface my reasoning ability drops by thirty percent."_

_"If you're going to change, I want to change too."_

_"You just watch, Pan. One day I'm gonna get out of here."_

_"You've given me hope again, Pan. And it was in something as simple as seeing you smile and laugh and you…you don't mind being silent, you don't mind making mistakes around me anymore…and I don't know if that's all that's changed, but all I want is to know more…because everything is beautiful and everything is wonderful now that you hope again too…Pan…I can't say what has completely changed, but I know that…I love it."_

_"Having one person in the world to love, no matter what…that does sound nice."_

No. It wasn't nice. Harry had to learn the hard way that the pleasant idea that there is always someone you can love in the world, does not mean they will return that love. Harry had fallen into a trap; he had fallen in love with an icy katana, a statue of mountains completely frozen and forever unmoving. It was his curse, it was his price to pay for prying so deep. It tore his heart to know, deep down, this was not where he belonged, and Draco Malfoy could never be his.

_"Don't speak such rubbish, Pan. You know I'll never leave you. It's been you and me since I was born and it will be you and me until I die, do you hear me?"_

Draco Malfoy belonged to one person, was promised to one person, betrothed to one person, loved one person and no one else. Harry dried the girl and dressed in Lila's outfit, descending the dusty stairs one last time, and spotted Narcissa at the foot. She smiled weakly,

"Pansy, dear, c-come here a moment."

Harry looked to the Queen, disgust in his mind but pity in his heart as she told him,

"W-write me when you get b-back to school, tell me h-how all your classes are. And if you might be able t-to talk to Draco, m-maybe tell him that I would like to hear from him t-too…"

Harry felt Pansy's eyes water as he leaned in and hugged Narcissa; she was clearly unused to it and awkwardly returned the embrace. Due to her husband's sudden death Narcissa Malfoy had loss her social eloquence, her grace, speed and strength; her youth. But Harry could feel in her arms; she was stronger than the day before. That made Harry's heart jump, it made him glad, it made him proud. He hoped Draco would write to the Queen, because she was finally looking towards the Royal Gates. He hoped Narcissa would see how blue Draco's eyes were. He hoped she would see how smart and brave he was. He hoped Narcissa would be proud. He wished he could stay.

"I will tell him, Ms. Malfoy."

"Call me Narcissa, Pansy. I will miss you."

Their hug tightened, holding for a long while before breaking away. Lila pounced on her, sobbing about how terribly she'd be missed; Pansy patted her back, laughing and telling her she would be back home soon. Gerald went to bow, but she hugged him before he could be so formal. He smiled and returned it; said he was sorry to see her go so soon. Harry couldn't agree more. Gerald exited the mansion with her and walked to the car as Pansy interviewed,

"Uhm…where is Draco?"

"He is sleeping in the car. He said he was up all night."

Pansy blushed, her chest aching, "I see…"

When she got in the car, Draco was indeed, unconscious, and so she distracted herself with looking out the window and saying good-bye to Malfoy Manor. Once the castle fell behind the horizon of the hill it sat on, she turned her face away from the glass and looked to the resting prince. His elbow was perched on the leather armrest, his handsome but tear-worn face slumped on the back of his hand. His lanky fingers were lazily hanging from his hand, his blonde lashes lightly shut and stray, platinum hairs scattered across his face. Pansy's blinks were slow and heavy, as they were when she woke as Harry. Or rather, as they were when Harry woke as himself. She moved next to Draco, very gradually, silently and gingerly moving him from his shoulders to fall to her lap. She ran her fingers through his hair as he breathed in and out rhythmically and peacefully; his undisturbed slumber giving him a relaxed, endearing aura. Harry would miss him so very much. Pansy's feminine hands ran through his bleached hair, massaging and raking, sending unacknowledged but pleasant chills down Draco's back. These were not Harry's hands. And so he could never give Draco what he needed. He wasn't a girl. He wasn't even close. He couldn't bake or pick appropriate outfits for events, he couldn't think like a girl or lie like a girl. He couldn't be what Draco was looking for. He could never be what Draco yearned for. Pansy fell asleep on the car ride there and when she woke, she only did because a sharp pain ached through her back.

She shot up, gripping her spine with a hiss; she looked up to see Draco across from her, looking up from one of his psychology books. He closed it, his face indifferent,

"Did you dream anything interesting?"

Harry wasn't sure what Draco was looking for. He wasn't even sure that Draco 'was' looking for anything. He sighed, looking around before inquiring,

"How did…where's Gerald? How did I get on here?"

Draco shrugged, "Gerald went back home and I carried you."

_"And if I don't wake by the time we get home?"_

_"I'll carry you home."_

She simpered; he was a man of his word. She shook her head,

"No, I didn't dream of anything."

"Pity." Draco stated before opening his book again.

She stood awkwardly, unsure of what to say; he just knew that he had to get a moment away so that he could down the last polyjuice shot. He excused herself and did so, feeling better before entering the small room again. Harry wanted to have his last few hours with Draco to be pleasant, but he couldn't bring himself to smile. The air was too thick; be it with disappointment, pain or sorrow, Harry wasn't sure. It could have been all of the above. He had to speak, though. He had to say something before it was all over, before he could never say anything again. Because now that Harry could speak to Draco the way he did, when he spoke, it was always something worth saying. But without Draco there to talk to, without Draco there to listen, nothing he could ever say would hold any significance. No words could describe the cross of pain and jubilation flowing through him. Draco Malfoy was the only other person in the world who could understand that jibberish. He was the only one who could say something without knowing what it really meant, but still mean it. He was the one person Harry belonged to, he was the one person Harry was promised to, he was the one person Harry was betrothed to, he was the one person Harry loved.

Him and no one else.

"I'll miss this."

Draco looked up to her, a brow perched high as he muttered, "What?"

"Nevermind. Do you forgive me?"

"For what?"

Her brows furrowed, "For the pain I've caused you."

Draco moved his eyes away, "It's nothing, really. I'm only suffering the pain I've put you through your whole life. I've had this coming for a while."

"Don't be ridiculous. You deserve nothing but every happiness."

Draco's eyes widened at that, "Don't talk like that."

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean."

Draco's hard stare forced Harry to realize that Pansy would have known what he meant by that, so he shut her mouth. Draco looked back to the girl,

"Is it that you don't like the silence anymore?"

"That's not it at all. Having you here is more than enough."

Draco blushed, frustrated, "What do you mean!? What in the world do you feel for me?!"

"I love you, Draco."

The blonde's face washed into enlightenment, shock writ over his azure eyes and slightly agape lips. His shoulders sank,

"You what?"

"I love you."

"You…you do? Even though I…even though I was capable of using the Killing Curse against…him?"

She smiled gently, "Of course I do. Draco, you can be cold and unforgiving at times, you can be mean and harsh. You hide things from people who only want the truth and your priorities are severely out of order, but…" She looked away with a blush creeping onto her face, "…even if…even if all that's true…I think it was impossible for me to not fall in love with you. And I know…that you couldn't use the Killing Curse out of jealousy or hatred; you are simply too gentle of a person to wish something terrible on someone. Even the people who hurt you most…so of course I'm in love. The hero always gets the girl in the end."

Draco seemed almost frightened at being called a hero; nonetheless he leaned closer to her, across the gap between their seats and rested his forehead against hers.

"I'm not a hero. I'm anything but."

"You're my hero."

"Don't say that, I couldn't even protect you during battle."

"It doesn't matter; you saved me before that."

Their eyes met and the girl's heart starting pumping in the way it always did around the prince. Harry could spot the boy moving in closer, slowly, his eyes low and glazed with adoration; Harry wondered what Draco's lips would taste like, what they would feel like and if it would bring him to tears. He wondered if Draco's kiss would kill the last chance he had of being freed from the painfully beautiful prison of love the prince kept him in. Just as their lips were going to touch, the door to their compartment opened up and a middle-aged woman offered them candy. Both blushing, and waving her off clued the woman in and she realized she had interrupted an intimate moment, immediately leaving them. Draco looked back at Pansy, both had red faces and wide eyes, until Draco fell back onto his seat and started hysterical laughing. Even though it broke Harry's heart to see Draco so happy with Pansy, even though it broke his heart to know Draco loved her and not Harry, even though it broke his heart to know that Pansy was the only one Draco would ever laugh for, he loved to see him laugh.

"What's so funny?" Pansy grinned.

Draco told her through laughter, "J-just seems that I can't get anything right! It was a sign, I suppose…" He was beaming at her, "I suppose that means it's not the right time yet. I'll have to wait for a more opportune moment to give you your first kiss."

Harry found himself disappointed yet again. He had her nod, though and Draco, still smiling, asked again,

"So…did you dream of anything I can help with?"

"No, 'fraid not. I wish I did dream something, though. I love it when you explain everything."

"Well, maybe you'll be interested in hearing this…"

Once he was sure all of Pansy's attention was his he elaborated, "Well, I think you and I had a leap-dream. A leap-dream is kind of like telepathy, where two or more people share the same dream or same event in their brains. Now, you dreamt of attending a ball at Hogwarts, where a faerie spoke to you, right?"

"Yeah…can't believe you remember that." Pansy giggled.

"Of course I remember. Anyway, I had a dream the other night, when we got back from flying. It was…a bit strange…she was…hard to understand sometimes…saying some things that didn't make any sense at all, while…sometimes she spoke in different languages…but…I wasn't in a masquerade, I was in an Azkaban cell. The faerie, though, she told you that you couldn't just meet someone once, that you had to meet them again. The faerie told me…well, she told me something different. Anyway, point being, I think it's the same faerie."

"Why do you think that? Didn't you say faeries could symbolize the wisdom of anyone's subconscious?"

He nodded, "That's true, but seeing as she drifted in and out of being coherent, I figured…eh, whatever, nevermind then."

Pansy left her seat and joined Draco, sitting beside him and planting her head on his shoulder. It was so strong and boyish, it was cute and Harry's heart fluttered at the contact. He could hear the smile in Draco's voice as he rested his head against hers and murmured,

"Yeah. I suppose having one person in the world to love, no matter what, is nice."

She pressed up against his shoulder, afraid to let her voice escape because it may leave her with tears and cracks. Her eyes were tightly shut, trying to hate the feeling of Draco so close, trying to hate his intoxicating scent, trying to hate the nearly inaudible sound of his relaxing voice. Harry couldn't hate him, though. No matter how Harry tried, once he fell into the blue abyss in Draco's hopeful gaze, he was done for. He could never hate being close because there was nothing quite as tender and soft as Draco's light yet not pale skin. He could never hate Draco's aroma because no flower or cologne smelled as wonderful as the boy's natural fragrance. He could never hate the sound of Draco's voice because in all the silence he had forced around himself, the alto lullaby in every syllable melted Harry's soul and purified every nightmare into a beauty that only a magnificent creature like Draco Malfoy could create with a single insult. Harry wondered if he had truly ever felt anything before love. Nothing seemed as real or as natural as being so completely in love with Draco. What hurt Harry the most was the fact that in his heart, he knew that nothing could compare and this was the one and only time he would love like this. Because no Ginny Weasley or Cho Chang could provide the mystery and seductive air that Draco so selflessly gave away. Certainly no girl and no other boy could ever replace Draco in all of his hypnotizing Malfoy Magic.

"Draco…you should rest, I know you were up all night."

"If I can use you as a pillow, then fine."

_"You seem tired, Pan. You should rest, we've got a lot of hours to kill."_

_"Eh, I don't have a pillow or anything. Too uncomfortable."_

_"You're a snob and a half."_

She smiled, her eyes filming with tears, unbeknownst to Draco, of course.

"Yes, of course you can."

"Then I'll take your advice."

"And Draco?"

"Yes?"

There was a short moment in which Harry gathered her voice to a steady and calm sound before requesting, "Draco…tell me you love me."

"I love you."

"Do you mean it?"

"It's the first thing I've ever meant."


	16. I Think I've Already Lost You

**WARNING****: THIS IS NOT THE END, IT IS NOT THE END, THIS ISN'T THE END, DIES IST NICHT DAS ENDE, CE N'EST PAS L'EXTRÉMITÉ, CIÒ NON È L'ESTREMITÀ, ÉSTE NO ES EL EXTREMO, ΑΥΤΟ ΔΕΝ ΕΙΝΑΙ ΤΟ ΤΕΛΟΣ, ESTA NÃO É A EXTREMIDADE!!**

**Okay, now that that's out of the way again, I'm happy to announce that this is one of the longest chapters yet! Thank you to all reviews and adds so far, it's so so so so so so so so appreciated! Hope you all like your latest update! I know I spoil you all with my fast updating. :3**

* * *

Pansy and Draco exited the train, Crabbe and Goyle walking up to them. They both nodded at Draco and the prince put on his tough mask, ordering,

"What are you idiots gawking at? Get my suitcases and get Pansy's as well, take them to our rooms and ready some tea for me or something, God you two are so useless."

They immediately ran off to the back of the train and Harry couldn't help the giggle that escaped Pansy at Draco's practiced wink. Her laughter died out as he stepped closer to her and hugged her closely, his strong arms holding her so close made her heart ache while he murmured,

"I have detention tonight, but…if you wouldn't mind it…I'd like to spend the afternoon with you. Would you like me to join you in your room soon?"

He tore away a little and their eyes met in a tender gaze. She smiled; the bittersweet departure Harry had been so terrified over was here and he knew Pansy would love to spend the afternoon with him. Harry had to let the prince go now, to be happy and in love with the girl who loved him most.

"Yeah…I'd like that. I'll go…uh…" A pain ached through her back, warning Harry to leave, "I'll go find my friends, then…"

He smirked and tapped her nose cutely before turning on his heal and calling back, "An hour, then."

She nodded, tears in her eyes as his figure vanished in the crowd. He suddenly heard Hermione's voice call out,

"Pansy?"

Harry turned instinctively; at seeing the girl, though, something clicked and he burst into tears. She knew then, that it was Harry because Pansy was simply unlike that. She hugged Harry and took him to the other side of the train where his transformation went unseen. He wrapped his arms over her shoulders and sobbed as Ron approached from behind; he seemed shocked by Harry's hysterics. Hermione kept begging, "Harry? Harry what's happened? What's wrong? Was it Draco? Did he do something? What happened at Malfoy Manor?"__

"Never!" He blubbered over her shoulder, tears pouring down his face with his voice shaky and nearly incoherent, "I never want to go back! Never make me go back, oh, Hermione, it was awful, I hate him, I hate him, Hermione, please!"

She was concerned and very confused, as was Harry. He wasn't completely sure of what he was asking of her. Maybe for her to take away the pain, to take away the pleasure or the past. He wasn't sure, but there was no way Hermione was capable of taking away any of that. Only Draco could. But he wouldn't. After all, Draco Malfoy was capable of most everything. Only willing for Pansy Parkinson.

"Harry, tell me, what's happened?" Hermione began calmly, rubbing his back in an attempt to sooth him.

"I-I-I, Hermione, h-he…his mother…" He looked to Ron, wiping away tears with the back of his fist as he continued, "Ron, she cries all day…Ron, she stammers and can't finish her tea, she never so much as looks at Draco, she doesn't even know he exists, she doesn't even care, Ron…"

Harry fell to his knees, trying to cover his mouth, his eyes tight and tears cascading,

"Hermione, P-Pansy was right, she was so right…we didn't know anything, Hermione…"

_"You don't understand him…you never could."_

"Ron, he's all alone there, Hermione, he's terrible, Hermione…he cries too, he cried when he got home and he cried when he was alone at night and he lies to everyone, he never lets anyone in, he never talks about what's really on his mind…he never lets anyone love him, because he keeps getting hurt and he cried and he cursed and he was so upset…he stood by her door all night, crying and begging…" He looked up to the confused faces on his friends and finished, "Just to hear her say she loved him…"

"Harry, let's get you some water, okay? You need to calm down, because nothing you're saying is making any sense…" Hermione suggested; Ron nodded in agreement, worry evident in his eyes.

They escorted the Chosen One to his dorm and dressed him in his own clothes then sat down with him. His tears had stopped, but his eyes were red and worn like Narcissa Malfoy. Hermione sat across from him as Ron stood by the bedpost and Hermione requested,

"Alright, can you try again, telling us what exactly happened?"

Harry looked at her, his green eyes terribly sad as he informed her,

"Narcissa…she cries all day. She can't finish a sentence or her tea and she treats Draco as if he doesn't exist. Like he's not there…she only talks to Pansy, she even ignores the butlers…and…Draco…" His eyes lowered, "He cries a lot too. He would never let Pansy know, he doesn't know she already knows…he's always trying to be strong and cold, the way his father wanted him to be…he was just trying to—"

He cut himself off; he hadn't killed Lucius. He wondered if he should tell Hermione and Ron that. He wondered if that was a secret he should honor, something he should take to his grave…but Hermione 

and Ron would never let anyone call Harry a murderer if they knew. They would never let him suffer the rumors and stories if they could defend him. However, Harry knew they would keep their mouths shut if they understood just how deep the connection he made was. Hermione pressed,

"Trying to what, Harry?"

Harry looked back to the two and gathered the most serious expression he could, telling them,

"I want to tell you two something Draco told me. He told me thinking no one would ever hear this. Can I trust you two to never repeat it?"

"Yeah, mate, you can trust us." Ron insisted; Hermione nodded.

Harry sighed, looking away, "You remember, how I told you I don't remember saying the Killing Curse? That it must have been the heat of the battle getting to my memory? It wasn't. Draco was sitting across from Pansy in his room and he told me that…he killed his father to protect me."

"What!?" Ron shot as Hermione gasped.

The brunette instantaneously interrogated, "H-how!? Why? Did he tell you why?"

"Of course," Harry began, blushing lightly, "Draco told her that Harry—uh, I—was his only hope for a better tomorrow, I was his last hope of Voldemort being defeated. He said he saw Lucius pointing his wand at me and he dove in the way to protect me from the Killing Curse, not the one he received, because he wasn't certain his curse would reach his father first. It did, of course, and Lucius's spell must have bounced off somewhere else. Draco told Pansy that, though…he said he let me take the fall because he…he said he needed a reason to still hate me."

There was a short silence before Ron snapped, "…WHAT?!"

"I know!" Harry fought, "But, Ron, he's a lot more than we give him credit for. He's a lot smarter and he's a lot braver than I ever could have thought. Ron, he's known a pain unlike anything any of us could ever have known…he's been broken a million times worse than any of us…could have ever survived…and…" Harry cracked into a smile, "…and he's fun."

"He's what?" Hermione laughed out.

Harry looked at her, grinning, "Yeah, we, uh, we tried baking," He appreciated the snort Ron chuckled out, "as you can imagine, it wasn't so successful, but…he was a lot of fun. He laughed and smiled a lot…I think…I got him to really open up…"

"Yeah?" Hermione started, "That's wonderful ,Harry…but…why were you crying before? Didn't you say you hated him?"

Harry shrugged, "Honestly, I'm not so sure of what I was trying to tell you…I was a bit hysterical, but…I…I really connected with him, Hermione. I've never been able to look into someone's eyes…and known I made a difference, but…he said that, me…me, Harry Potter…was the only reason he could move onto the next day. He said I was a light of hope that he couldn't let die out, especially by Lucius's hand, so if that meant sacrificing himself or his father, he was willing…he said…he said a lot of wonderful things. But…what really amazed me…is that…all his anger and all his frustration…it's all just a front. Deep down…he's nothing like that…deep down, he's always been on our side…"

Ron stepped back, "That's bloody…I don't even know…I can't even…you two…wouldn't mind if I left the room a moment to uh…gather my brain?"

"No, we wouldn't mind, Ron." Hermione replied.

The redhead left after that and Hermione reached forward, taking Harry's hand. He looked to her and she interviewed,

"Harry…is there something else? What made you so upset?"

Harry blushed furiously, "N-no. There's nothing else."

"Are you sure?" Hermione pressed suspiciously.

"Positive."

After all, being in love with someone so unloving was his own curse to suffer.

* * *

Draco was in the common room, talking with a few classmates who always felt it appropriate to review their vacations with him. Although he was making sarcastic comments and agreeing and disagreeing, his face was indifferent and he missed Pansy's company. He checked his watch every few seconds, making a mental note to himself that he should never suggest an hour apart from her again. Although people were talking to him and expecting him to reveal his entire trip home, he could think of nothing else but being close to Pansy. He could think of nothing else but hearing her laugh and ruin cookies and curse about her hair. He blushed and smiled at remembering how wonderful a flyer she had become. He needed her so much closer. He needed her to cling to his arm everywhere he went. Then there would be times where she was silent, but other times where she would talk and when she would she would forgive him for everything terrible he was and she would love him and no one else. He was coming back into focus on a conversation within the circle of Slytherins he had around him until he heard Crabbe calling for him,

"Draco! Draco!"

The blonde turned to him, "What is it, you oaf?"

"It's Pansy! Come quick!"

Terror washed over Draco as he ran out of the room and followed Crabbe to the girl's dormitory.

* * *

Harry was standing by the door for almost ten minutes until Snape acknowledged him.

"What is it, Potter?"

"Detention, sir. I need you to walk me to the room."

"You've still got twenty minutes before it officially begins. Are you sure you want to go to the room already?"

"Yes," He began, "there's dialogue I have to prepare."

Snape nodded and sighed, picking up a pair of keys before leaving the room with Harry patiently walking beside him. Snape turned a corner and to Harry's surprise, broke the silence,

"So, Potter, what did you learn over Christmas Break?"

Harry smiled, lying, "No spells or potions, really, I haven't studied much, to be honest."

"Not schoolwork, Potter. What did you learn about the Malfoys." He stated.

Harry's eyes widened, "How…did you know?"

Snape smirked, but not in the diabolic way he used to which comforted Harry to some degree.

"I know everything."

Harry rolled his eyes, but answered seriously, "I learned a lot."

"A lot of what, Potter? I know you know what I'm asking."

Harry thought hard, but he wasn't sure really what Snape meant.

"I learned a lot of…the Malfoys' pain, of their loss and…loneliness and…"

Snape put the key in the door, cocking a brow until Harry looked away, finishing, "I learned a lot…I didn't want to know."

"Bingo."

Harry looked back at the professor as he ordered, "Get inside. I'll be back at sunrise."

"Sunrise?"

"Dumbledore's orders."

Harry huffed, but secretly adored the thought of being alone with Draco for so long. They had only been separated for a few hours, but Harry missed him terribly. Harry didn't truly have dialogue to prepare, of course. Because Draco Malfoy wanted nothing from Harry Potter but silence. And so, for Prince Draco he would sew his mouth shut. What he couldn't tell Professor Snape was that he was beyond eager to see the boy, and that was why he wanted to sit and wait. He was walking around the room, trying to find something like sensors or cameras, but he knew if they used such methods Dumbledore would make it impossible for him to find. He went to tuck away an ebony curl, but remembered he didn't have any curls that sprang out of place. He chuckled to himself; he had truly gotten a bit too used to being a girl. While he was on the topic of Pansy Parkinson in his mind, he went on to wonder how such a sweet girl had ended up in Slytherin. He wondered how someone who loved so innocently and helped so selflessly had landed in such a house. He was at the far end of the room when he heard the door open and close. He turned to see Draco charging towards him, completely enraged. The blonde gripped his collar, throwing him against the wall as they closed in slightly,

"You**_ loathsome wretch_**!"

"Wha-" Harry began, but was cut off by Draco's furious tone,

"You have made a fool of me!"

"W-what are you talking about?!" Harry asked desperately.

Harry only noticed then that Draco's eyes were deep silver, fogged with anger and distrust. They were glassy and rage was illuminating from them as he snarled,

"You know what I'm talking about, Potter; you thought you'd get away with it, did you? You don't think Pansy would tell me how you attacked her!?"

"What!?" Harry snapped.

Draco rolled his dead eyes, "Don't play dumb, Potter; she told me all about how you and your lackeys tied her up then left to go play pretend! You are the scum of the Earth, Potter, but I gotta tell you, I really didn't see this one coming!"

"What the bloody Hell are you talking about!?"

The walls were closing in as Draco's fists tightened around Harry's collar and his watery eyes intensified,

"I could kill you for what you've done to me! You miserable, lying cockroach, what is it that you planned? You killed my father, you destroyed my mother and you deceived my fiancé so that you could come to my home and see just how fucked up we are?! Was that it? You came to ridicule me and watch me in all my misery? Is that it, you sniveling coward!?"

Draco's breath so close to his lips was slowing Harry's thought process; even the stiff and violent aura of his serpentine physique couldn't stop Harry's heart from thumping.

"Well!?"

"I-I-"

"What!? Are you going to say that you didn't do it? That you didn't make a polyjuice potion and follow me home!? That you didn't lie to me, that you didn't consciously mislead—"

"Don't…don't say all that! I didn't kill your father!"

There was a short moment of silence before Draco pulled harshly on Harry's collar and slammed his head against the wall, barking,

"**Fuck you**! Fuck you, I hate you! Harry Potter, The Chosen One, The Boy Who Lived, right?! Harry Potter, the hero!" Draco spat, "Whose hero are you?" The blonde let go of Harry's collar, backing away with his voice weakening, "Not mine."

_"You…you saved me. Thank you."_

_"No…no, he saved me…that's…he's…no, he's saved me before. Even if he didn't save me tonight…"_

_"He killed Voldemort. He saved millions of people; wizards, squibs and muggles. Not only is he a savior who deserves our respect, Pan, but he's a powerful wizard with class; he doesn't wave his wand around just because he can."_

_"He saved me, Pan. He…he used to be the only reason I hoped at all…like you said, I may have been the one to save him during the battle, Pan, but…he saved me…my whole life…"_

_"He saved me first."_

"Bullshit!" Harry snapped; causing the walls to inch in closer as Draco turned to face him again.

"What did you just say?"

"That's…that's a lie. You…you said that I saved you first! You said that you cared abo—"

"Don't flatter yourself, Potter," Draco interrupted, "you're disgusting enough as it is, don't get an ego."

"You told Pansy so! Why can't you tell me the truth!? Why couldn't you tell me that I didn't kill him!? Why couldn't you say that you wanted to protect me!?"

"**Shut up**!" Draco exploded, storming towards Harry again and punching him square in the jaw. Harry was thrown against the wall, rubbing his swore face as Draco shouted, "I don't _owe_ you any answers! I don't _owe_ you anything! I never would have trusted your charade had I known you were just a dirty, cowardly liar!"

"You do owe me answers, Draco! I tried my hardest to be your friend and you pushed away my efforts every time! I deserve to know why! I've worked hard to try and find out!"

"Well, isn't that jolly good for you, Potter!" Draco started viciously, "You know, Potter, you know what's wrong with you? It's that you've always been given the answers! Dumbledore, your parents, Cedric, Granger, Lupin, Snape, all those people smarter than you; they gave you all the guidelines! You always got exactly what you needed in the end, Potter, but the reality, Potter, the really real reality, Potter, is that you **don't** always get the answers! You can work your ass off, try your very hardest and you will still end up empty-handed, you still amount to **jack-squat**, and you know why, Potter? Because life's unfair! People are unfair, Potter, people kill and deceive and lie and trick and hide and hate and we're so imperfect that the only ones we can trust are ourselves! So do whatever you like, say whatever you like, doesn't matter because in the end, life won't treat you any different from me. You'll be just as lost and just as hurt and just as **broken**, so don't **_bullshit_** me about how I should be so thankful and I should be so nice to you because I don't _have_ to be anything for you!"

The walls pushed them together; their chests just touching. Draco's breath was heavy and practically gasping as he finished, "God, I hate you."

The walls tightened and their cheeks ran beside each other. Draco's disgust was tangible, it was thickening the air as Harry pressed timidly,

"I…I don't know what Pansy told you but—"

"Don't speak, Potter." He seethed.

"Draco…please…"

"I don't owe you anything."

The walls suddenly came in so tightly that the boys' chests were punched against the other's and not only was the wind knocked out of them, but they both lost consciousness. Harry was the first to wake, unsure of where he was at first; the only clue was the excruciating pain of his body being crushed. He twitched his shoulders, trying to shake his body, but there was simply no room. He started off in a whisper,

"Draco…Draco…Draco!"

The blonde groaned into waking, "W-what?"

"We…we need to get the walls to spread, or we're really going to be hurt…"

"I don't need to do anything for yo—" He hissed in pain at trying to raise his arm.

"Brilliant, Draco. We need to get along, just try so we won't die."

"What do I get out of it?"

"Uhm…life?"

Draco scoffed weakly, "Not enough."

Harry's brows curved, "I promise…to never speak to you again."

The blonde made a small noise of agreement before adding, "It hurts when I speak, Potter…and whenever I try to carry on average conversation with you anyway it turns for the worse…"

"That's true…well…" The pressure of their bodies together made him pause to curse in pain before finishing, "Draco…we should…Draco, you need to kiss me."

"What!?" The boy barked; the walls tightened and forced them both to curse loudly.

"Just do it! The room will recognize it as getting along, just do it!"

They both turned their heads as best they could and the prince very reluctantly pressed his lips against Harry's. The charcoal-haired boy's heart fluttered and sprang into a dance; the prince's full lips were just as soft as he had dreamt. Their eyes were still staring directly at each other, an evident hatred in Draco's. Suddenly, Draco pulled away, cursing before telling him, "The walls aren't loosening!"

Harry thought a moment before suggesting, "It may be because the walls know that because we're pressed together a kiss like that might be out of our power…you know, like a mistake."

"What are you saying, Potter?" Draco sneered.

"I'm saying…to get the walls to open…they have to know that it's…deliberate…"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Harry huffed, "Look to me again."

Draco followed orders and once he did, Harry wormed his lips between Draco's and forced his mouth open, allowing his tongue to take territory. He heard Draco gasp the moment Harry dove for his lips and his defiant grunts slowly died out to silence, his body slowly relaxing. Harry's heart sang again; the prince's kiss was sugary sweet and so warm that it sent generous waves of heat all throughout his body. Their eyes were shut dreamily and Harry soon felt Draco's arms crawling up his chest, his lanky hands holding his jaw; the prince's thumb ran across the developing bruise on Harry's jaw rhythmically as if to apologize for hitting him in the first place. It took Harry a long few minutes to finally realize that the cold on his back was the floor, but the more intriguing discovery was the fact that Draco was returning the kiss. The affectionate battle for dominance gradually became hungrier and it overwhelmed the two; one would force his way on top of the other and vice versa, searching for more to touch, more to taste. Not once did they break away, their hands tracing, untying, unbuttoning and messing hair. They were both completely lost in each other until Harry felt a violent tug and was forcefully torn away from the prince. Harry looked to the blonde, his expression was dazed or drunkish, sleepy almost. His face was flustered, his shirt and pants disheveled and his hair a silky mess. Harry had a feeling he must've looked something akin to that as he could feel his hair going out in all different directions and knew his glasses were either upside down or strangely tilted. He finally looked up to see he was being held by the back of his collar…by Snape.

"Potter…care to elaborate?"

"Uhm…elaborate what, sir?"

"What the bloody Hell you two were doing?"

Harry's face was glowing red, "Uhm…just…getting along, sir."

Snape dropped him and muttered, "Get to your dorms. Now."

Draco practically flew out of the room and Harry followed as quickly as he could, calling after him, "Draco—"

The blonde glared at him, his eyes still watery, but rather than the palpable hatred there always was when he looked at Harry Potter…there was only pain.

"You promised, Potter."

Harry watched as Draco sprinted off and left him there. Draco was a man of his word; he said he would carry Pansy if he needed to, and he did. Harry's heart throbbed in painful heartache as he knew he had to be a man of his own word. He would never speak to Draco Malfoy again.


	17. You Think I'm Weak, I Think You're Wrong

**REALLY SHORT, SORRY**

**READ THIS, IT'S SIGNIFICANT:**

**This isn't the end, clearly.**

**This chapter used to be a million times longer, but my computer decided to be an asshole and I was only able to salvage this two-page thingy. I'll have the next chapter up shortly, I know I spoil you all with my quick updating. XP**

**Hope you like it all the same. D:**

* * *

Harry didn't return to his dormitory as his professor so strongly advised. He instead escaped to the lake outside the castle and watched the sun rise over the water. The blue that was slowly enveloping the sky, the azure of the water, the ultramarine coating the school was the exact hue of indigo hope that haunted Harry. He was about to take a seat on the sandy dirt when he heard a shuffle. He turned around and saw Pansy Parkinson staring back; at seeing her he felt the morbid desire to take her face. He wanted to be her so badly, he wanted to love Draco freely and he wanted Draco to love him back. Harry foresaw that heartache, though, and he instead interrogated,

"Why did you tell Draco we attacked you?"

The girl's hair was a little messed, her face was pale and tear-worn and the lines under her eyes aged her by decades. Her dress looked old beside the designer bag she was holding by her waist. She laughed sinisterly, looking at him with a face that was so crazed and angry that it reminded him of Belatrix Lestrange.

"Stupid, Potter and your stupid friends. How dumb do you think I am?"

"What are you talking about? Draco said that you said we attacked you. You gave me the chance to be with Draco, you said that you wanted me to open him up—"

"Why do you think that is, Potter, huh? You think that, I, Pansy Parkinson, would send you away with my fiancé when I've known all along what he thought of you!?"

"What are you—"

"Oh, you were his hero, Potter, how many times do you have to hear it before it sinks in? I fucking licked the dirt off his feet, to just get a spark of interest, just a moment where our eyes met, but it was only when he thought of you, it was only when I mentioned you that he really listened! He only cared about you when I only cared about him and he would have noticed me kissing the slime he walked on if he wasn't so fucking busy worshiping you!"

Harry stepped back as Pansy's hands gripped into fists so tight that her knuckles shown white as she moved closer and shakily continued,

"So when the battle's over and all he needs to hear is that I'm okay, but no, seeing you isn't enough. He had to get up on his numb feet and stumble over to feel you, to make you feel him! Why couldn't that be me!? I thought to myself, well Pan, why don't you ruin that?"

She was growing ever closer to the unnerved Gryffindor as she narrated, "Bloody Brilliant! I'll kill it; that blue, that stupid blue that replaced all that reflected me! I would kill you, Harry Potter, I would kill you, but if I did…if I murdered you, Potter, he'd never forgive me. I had to find another way, a way that you wouldn't exist in Draco Malfoy's world anymore, so that there would only be me. I tore apart all of my diaries, every entry and sentence, looking for something he said or did that indicated some way, some kind of thing that he could never forgive, and then I knew it!"

She gripped onto Harry's shoulders, forcing his entire body to shake under her as her crazed face closed up on his,

"That night! That night on the Astronomy Tower that I told you about in the Hospital Wing! I thought, oh, Pan, you're a genius, a bloody genius! He told me that he hated to be controlled, he didn't hate Voldemort, he hated control and I knew exactly what'd I'd do! I'd lure you into that false sense of security, I'd take your war-wearied heart, your poor and tired heart and I'd make it weep at my tragic tale of how I loved like no one else and how I deserved him like no one else, because I do! And then once you were in my grasp, I would instill in you my memories, a way of letting you get to know me and get to know him and your curiosity grew just how I knew it would and then I offered you the chance to go off, do me, poor, little, old me a favor, Mr. Hero Harry Potter, please, do, go and make him smile for me!" Her breath smacked his face as she forced a harsh laugh,

"How, Harry Potter, how terrible would my love feel when he learned that Harry Potter manipulated him? Controlled him without him ever having an inkling? How deep would the pain cut when he learned that his hero, Harry Potter, was just a two-faced, deceitful, lying…sham." She hissed the last word before pulling away from him.

"So you see, Potter? I planned this all from the beginning; I knew exactly what I'd say and exactly how I'd act. You were just another sucker that fell for a maiden in distress."

Harry finally understood how a girl that loved so genuinely, a girl that loved so completely ended up in Slytherin. He would have responded with some kind of insult or frantic rant, but instead cocked a brow and inquired,

"If…your plan has worked out just as you wanted it to, Pansy…why are you out here with me?"

Her eyes widened and her brows shrank back into a pained expression as she screamed,

"It's **your** fault! H-he told me he couldn't stand the sight of me right now! He said he n-needed time alone! I assured him, I told him over and over how I didn't do anything wrong, but he sent me off anyway and it's all your fault!"

As the girl covered her face in her hands and sobbed, the soft crying reminded Harry of Narcissa. It wasn't an appropriate time, though, to tell Pansy that Narcissa was expecting a letter. He tried to step towards her, a hand out to comfort her, but she glared at him and tossed her bag violently at him before blubbering something incoherent and running off. He watched her figure disappear around the castle, then he looked to the ground and began to pick up her belongings and return them to the bag. As he was doing so, he spotted a small photograph; it was strangely shot, seemingly taken in a park, but the movement was odd. He resolved to keep it and investigate it; he tucked it into his pocket, then looked out at the water again. Looking into Draco's eyes pained his heart, all the lies surrounding him finally showing themselves behind the beautiful, mourning, lace masks they hid behind.


	18. Remembering Sunday

**I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to update! I know I've really spoiled all of you with quick updating, so I promise to get back into that routine! Hope you like your latest chapter! Thank you all PMs, adds and reviews! It's sooooooooooooooooooo appreciated!**

* * *

Draco was sitting on his bed, a small stone dish full of old ash and a thin line of smoke still escaping one of the multiple cigarettes slowly meeting its end. His knees were up to his chest and he was holding tight to his temples in thought. His grey eyes were glazed and low, staring blankly ahead as he always did. He glanced to the dish and the violent but tired pulse in his veins warped his vision into a blur for a few moments. He glared and curved his dexterous hand so that the back of his hand slammed into the dish and it flew across the room with a loud crash. He hoped the loud sound or the sharp movement would calm his nerves, but watching the grey specks settling from the air onto the floor only agitated him more. His brows sank sadly and he looked away.

_"Draco, how are you feeling?"_

He cringed, shifting in attempt to shake the memory away.

_"Why do you hate me so much?!"_

He covered his ears, tears coming to his eyes again…

_"You told me you forgave me!"_

_"You're just jealous because you'll never be as strong as me!"_

_"But, Malfoy, I don't want to hate you. I don't hate you."_

_"You don't need anyone, do you?"_

He stood from his bed, holding tighter to his ears as he shouted, "No!"

_"That's…that's a lie. You…you said that I saved you first! You said that you cared abo—"_

"No! Stop! Shut up!"

_"You do owe me answers, Draco! I tried my hardest to be your friend and you pushed away my efforts every time! I deserve to know why! I've worked hard to try and find out!"_

"Shut up! Shut up!"

_"I promise…to never speak to you again."_

Draco opened his eyes, his hands gradually pulling away from his red ears as he fell to his knees. His heart's pace began to calm and his face felt strangely naked. Some of his bleach strands of hair fell in front of his face as he closed his eyes, exhaling deeply. He could almost feel the Hospital Wing's gown around him, the floorboards under his knees and the breeze coming through the gigantic windows. He knew this time, though, when he opened his eyes, Harry Potter would not be there to apologize. He would not help Draco up off the floor and he certainly would not be there to simply see him. Somehow that thought stung his heart more than the words of his father's declination. He burned that thought and shoved it into the back of his mind as he opened his eyes again. He stood up weakly and looked at the scattered grey on the floor. He tilted his head in thought; the ashes were much like him. They were small and lost even among themselves, but surely they wanted to be free from that tight dish that kept them in uniform. Surely they wanted to ride the strong winds, wanted to feel that they were different and unique from the identical particles of black and know something other than the tiny world of that dish. However, when they left that safe, compact place, they only fell. They failed to fly or find a great freedom, they only descended from the heights they used to dream about to disperse onto the ground, never amounting to anything but dust in between the cracks in the floorboards. He looked away; his head hurt and his mind was spurting pointless thoughts onto him to tire him further.

His thoughts were banal and repetitive, painful and ongoing. Why was it that the dish clattered when it fell, that his heart pounded in his ears, that his teeth grinded, that his floorboards creaked, that Harry's eternal words played over and over in his mind, that his thoughts were never-ending when all he wanted was silence? He looked out his window to the stormy sky from the floor and continued to search his mind for an explanation to all the pain.

* * *

"I told you she wasn't trustworthy." Ron chided.

Hermione glared at Ron quickly, then looked back at Harry and appeared genuinely sad when she told him,

"Harry, this is…this is what I meant."

He lifted a brow at her, turning from looking to the fireplace to meet her eyes as she continued,

"When I…when I told you, how there are constants in our lives…people don't change like that, Harry. Draco isn't entirely a bad person, but Harry, he's effed up and he's—"

"He's not fucked up, Hermione." He cut her off, surprising both her and Ron, "He's not fucked up. He's in pain, Hermione. He's not crazy, he's not…I don't think he's even angry…"

Harry looked to the fire crackling again and sighed, "He's just been hurt a lot, Hermione. I wouldn't expect you and Ron to—"

He stopped himself…

_"Harry Potter…you and your stupid friends could never understand him. You could never understand him…"_

…why…he sounded like Pansy Parkinson.

He laughed softly to himself, then looked back to his friends, finishing,

"You'd have to live with him for a week to ever get anything like an understanding. I spent every day with him and he's still a mystery."

Hermione looked concerned, "Harry, are you sure there's nothing else you wanted to tell us about your time with Draco?"

Harry blushed, responding as nonchalantly as possible, "N-no. There's nothing. Why?"

"You just…you look different when you talk about him. You…uhm…"

"You look like Pansy." Ron interjected.

Harry glanced to the redhead, then back to Hermione as she nodded hesitantly. Harry tried to roll his eyes at what was supposed to be a ridiculous accusation,

"I don't know what you guys are talking about. I think I just learned a lot about him and kind of…got him to…open up…"

"Harry, are you sure there was nothing else? I mean…when you got off the train, you pretty rattled. Are you positive that there's nothing you want to tell us?"

"I think the man's made himself as clear as he can, Herm." Ron pitched in from the couch.

Harry smiled to the boy; Ron always did know when to step in. The brunette crossed her arms, leaning against the couch Ron was strewn across as she huffed,

"Fine, fine. But if anything ever comes to mind don't hesitate to tell me, cause I have a feeling there's something you're not telling us."

Harry stood, sighing, "There's nothing. I think I'll be, uhm…going to bed."

Ron cocked a brow, "A bit early for you, Harry."

"Yeah, well…this morning's encounter with Pansy really set me off, so…I'm gonna go and rest now."

Ron nodded, Hermione suggesting, "Would you like me to bring you some tea, Harry?"

"No, but thanks, Herm. G'night, guys."

They both mumbled a response and Harry left to run into his dormitory. Once he was settled on his bed with the curtains pulled all around him, he took out the blurred photo and set it out in front of him. Something in the back of his mind told him it was important. That fairy, maybe, was trying to tell him something about it. He was tapping the end of his wand on the side of his head in thought until it struck him. He knew how to discover what was in the photo without asking a soul. He took formal hold of his wand and pointed it at the photo, muttering,

"Theraponia Elianas…"

* * *

Lucius was walking through a muggle park with a young Draco; he was maybe seven or eight years old. He looked at the swings, then turned around but stopped when Lucius's cane cut in front of him. He looked up to his father, the older man inquiring,

"Where do you think you're going?"

Draco shrugged, his high voice producing a bit of a thicker accent than Harry was used to,

"There's a boy on my favorite one."

Lucius knelt down, his shiny leather shoes squeaking as he interviewed,

"And that makes you want to leave it?"

"It's alright, I don't mind. I'll go on when that boy leaves." Draco offered.

Lucius was displeased as he replied, "Draco, you cannot just wait for things to be given to you. If you want something, get it by your hands."

The tiny blonde boy frowned, "You mean…you want me to steal it?"

The father made a sharp noise, making Draco cringe before he answered, "You are not a lowly thief, Draco. You are a Malfoy and that makes you the best. Now if you want something, you go and take it."

The man's hand was nearly the size of the boy's entire back as he turned the boy and pushed him towards the swings. The child glanced back at his father nervously, but he was intimidated by the determined look on the man's face, so he turned towards the swings again. He walked over very reluctantly, standing behind the rocking swing when he muttered to himself,

"Get it by your hands…"

He watched the chains sway, a look of intense concentration drawn on his young face that, frankly, had too much baby-fat to be taken seriously. His little hands shot forward and gripped the chains into a halt that was so sudden that the young boy on the swing fell off. He looked behind him, rubbing his tailbone with watering eyes, then he stood and ran off crying. Lucius had straightened up and was walking over to Draco, but the tiny boy didn't seem happy at all. He had the look of concern that Hermione usually wore until it was replaced with surprise when he glanced to his sides where Lucius's hands were lifting him onto the seat. His chubby digits wrapped around the metal as Lucius asked,

"Now, you see? You got that swing you wanted without having to wait for anyone or anything. How does it feel?"

The young boy was frowning, his big, blue eyes avoiding his father's as he answered,

"That didn't feel good."

Lucius's expression sank into an ugly face of suspicion or judgment, "Well, I suppose it just needs to grow on you."

Draco's miniature feet were nowhere close to the ground, but he tried to mimic the other boy's movements to get a swing going. His frown didn't leave his face as he interrogated,

"Why do we have to take things, father?"

"Why?"

"Yes."

The man crossed his arms, "Draco, all a person has is their name. You'll understand when you're older, but people fight and take things for their families. You see, no one is trustworthy these days. That is why I don't permit you to have friends over the house and all of that garbage. Because what they are doing is taking from you for their families."

"They are?" The boy looked to his father, alarmed.

He nodded, "Yes, they are. Your purpose, Draco, is written in stone, ever since you were born."

"What's that, father?"

"You are to bring honor to the Malfoy name, just as I have and your mother has and all of your ancestors have. To do that, you cannot trust anyone, Draco and you cannot waver or show weakness."

The child's eyes were welling up with water, making Lucius make another awful face of disapproval,

"What's got you so sad?"

"I-I thought P-Pansy was my f-friend…" One of Draco's hands came up to his eyes and wiped away at the water falling down his face.

"Pansy is, Draco. She is your fiancé, you can trust her with anything. All she wants to do is bring honor to our name as well. She is your partner."

The child beamed, his sobbing coming to a quick end, "That is wonderful, I hope she is always my friend, father."

"Of course, she will be your wife and she will be a mother. But all in good time."

The man spotted a stray tear dripping from Draco's cheek; to Draco's surprise the man's strong hand roughly wiped it away and shook his hand, regaining his son's attention. The permanent scowl he wore didn't seem to bother Draco so much as he mentioned,

"One more thing, Draco, there is one more thing you must do if you want to succeed in bringing honor to our family name."

"Of course, father, I'd do anything!" He chirped.

"You should never let anyone see you cry like that."

The boy tilted his head, "Why? Doesn't everyone cry?"

"No. The proud don't. And aren't you proud to be a Malfoy, Draco?"

"Yes, father."

Lucius leaned against the silver pole beside the swing, adding, "Then don't let that happen again. If you cry then you are not proud and if you are not proud, it is because you are not strong. And if you are not strong you can never bring us honor."

"Father, what does honor give us?"

The man's smile was not friendly and not warm, but almost sinister as he responded soothingly,

"Love."

Draco's face lit up, "Really? So if…if I bring honor to our family, then you will love me and mother will love me?"

"Of course."

"What of Pansy's love, father?"

"That is something you will always have, Draco. Her love is something that only belongs to you and the Malfoy name. You will never have to take that."

The young boy's smile took up most of his face until he heard some feminine voices talking a bit far off. He and his father turned around to see two women; one with flowing ebony hair, another with blonde hair tied up in a tight bun and a little girl with charcoal pigtails in light blue ribbons with a matching dress. She was so excited to see her fiancé that she began running in her glossy dress shoes as he jumped off his swing and went to run; his father's voice, though, stated behind him,

"Don't let your emotions take you over, Draco. That is a weakness; let her come to you."

He glanced to his father, then stood straight until Pansy greeted him by pouncing on him and exclaiming,

"Oh, Draco, I missed you so, so, so, so much! Do you like my ribbons? I got them for you! I thought that maybe if I wore something that looked like your eyes then you might think I looked pretty!"

The blonde boy grinned at her, giggling playfully before replying, "You know I always think you're pretty, Pan."

She blushed, hugging him tighter and snuggling closer even as he groaned for air. The dark-haired woman announced, "Pansy, that isn't very lady-like."

The girl rose off of Draco, brushing at her dress before offering to help him up. He looked to his father quickly, then waved her hand off and stood up on his own. He slapped at the remaining wood-chips on his back, then smiled at her to calm her pouting face. Narcissa kissed Lucius and the adults began talking; Pansy's request to be placed on the swing beside Draco's went ignored, causing Draco's brow to furrow. He took Pansy's small hand in his and led her back to the swing she wanted, directing her to step on his hands and he would lift her up. He did, then pushed her feet so that she began swinging. She thanked him over and over, grinning wildly until she asked,

"But, Draco, how will you get up now?"

The blonde boy looked at his father, but he wasn't paying attention. He looked to the little girl and answered,

"I'll get it by my hands, Pan."

He stepped far back then ran like a speeding bullet towards his swing, jumping at the last second. He readjusted himself so that he was sitting as the force of his landing jump-started a rock. Pansy clapped, delighted to be near him,

"Oh, you're wonderful, Draco! I mean, you always are, but that was especially wonderful!"

"Thank you, Pan." The boy simpered, before looking away shortly. The girl frowned,

"What's wrong, Draco?"

"Pan…do you love me?"

She nodded fervently, "Oh yes, more than anything, Draco!"

He looked to her, his face pinked, "Would you…would you say that? I want to hear you say that you love me…"

She smiled gently, "I love you, Draco."

He sighed, smiling back at her, "Well, you are quite wonderful too, Pan."

She blushed, as the parents slowly gathered around the two and the sound of Harry's heart breaking sounded in his ears. He thought for a moment that Draco's eyes met with his, but after that moment, he was back in his dormitory.


	19. Consider You Gone

**WARNING****: THIS IS NOT THE END, IT IS NOT THE END, THIS ISN'T THE END, DIESES IST NICHT DAS ENDE, CE N'EST PAS L'EXTRÉMITÉ, CIÒ NON È L'ESTREMITÀ, ÉSTE NO ES EL EXTREMO, ΑΥΤΟ ΔΕΝ ΕΙΝΑΙ ΤΟ ΤΕΛΟΣ, ESTA NÃO É A EXTREMIDADE!!**

**With that out of the way, I hope you all like your latest update! Thank you for all the patience and support! All reviews, adds and fanart are cherished! X3**

* * *

Draco was lying across his bed, staring at his ceiling with questions etched across his face. He had refused to attend class or detention that whole week; Harry was disturbed to hear that Snape was the one allowing him to be excused. Draco didn't want to think about Harry Potter. That was impossible, however, because agonizing confusion was enveloping Draco and it was all due to that Gryffindor. He rolled over onto his side, his arm awkwardly positioned so that it was squished under his head, but his forearm hung over him and his fingers trickled onto his face. His face was sore from fighting the tears; he hadn't let one drop and dirty his pride. Not one. His face was overworked and his heart was shredded and disoriented. It seemed to wander through his entire body, searching for somewhere to rest and compose. He didn't hear it or feel it. He knew it was there, though. Barely there, but still somewhere there. He closed his heavy eyes, sighing…

_"Don't you suppose…we've been sad long enough?"_

_"Knowing…knowing that no matter what, there is someone in the world who you can love? That there is someone who can make your life brilliant?"_

_"I want you to know I didn't mean what I said. I want you…I want you to really trust me. I want you to know that I…I know you're not empty…"_

_"Well…this vacation was so relaxing…and I went from knowing absolutely nothing about you…to having a really…profound feeling of understanding. I feel…like I got to know the real you."_

_"I love you, Draco."_

He blushed…

_"I love you."_

_"…even if…even if all that's true…I think it was impossible for me to not fall in love with you. And I know…that you couldn't use the Killing Curse out of jealousy or hatred; you are simply too gentle of a person to wish something terrible on someone. Even the people who hurt you most…so of course I'm in love."_

He opened his eyes, his heart sounding off again as he murmured to himself,

"…in love…"

Boredom was inevitable these days. With Draco gone from class, Harry found himself even more consumed by thoughts of him. His bland expression was slumped in his palm, the epitome of fatigue and disinterest. Ron and Hermione were worried and Pansy Parkinson avoided Harry like the plague. Harry had hoped that after the war, he would never have to feel alienated or distant anymore. He didn't foresee falling in love with the Prince of Slytherin who was already promised to his most despicable fangirl, however. When class was let out, Hermione told the boys that she had to find something in the library and would reunite with them later. As Ron and Harry walked through the common room together, Harry was discomforted by the fact that there was an awkward silence between him and his best friend. He sighed and considered starting a pointless conversation until Ron's voice came in first,

"You know, I thought you'd come back saying he had a boyfriend."

Harry's face went red before he looked to his friend, stammering, "W-what?!"

Ron nodded, his expression completely serious, "Malfoy. I thought you'd come back to school saying you found out about some…gay affair he was having."

Harry's face was contorted strangely, "W-why would you ever think anything like that!?"

"He's a fairy-boy! Isn't it obvious?" Ron replied; stopping to look Harry in the eyes.

The Chosen One's wide eyes relayed is sudden uneasiness as he interrogated, "You can't be serious! How do you think that?"

"Come now, Harry, Malfoy's always been a bit on the…girly side, hasn't he? I mean…forget the fact that he practically looks like a girl, but the guy's always just, just…just…"

"Can you give me an example?" Harry pressed.

Ron sighed, rolling his eyes, "Come on, Harry! He charms paper to look like birds and butterflies to send notes in class! He's a neat-freak with no coping-skills, he can't deal with jealousy and practically drooled over you in the Hospital Wing! I mean, he only joined Quidditch cause you were doing it first! He has made it more than obvious that Pansy Parkinson is not someone he wants to get busy with, I mean, Harry, it's Pansy Parkinson! She's thin and pretty built, she's clean and nice when she's not crazy and she's totally in love with him!"

Harry took a step back, his flustered face growing more and more nervous, "A-Are you trying to say y-you think Draco h-has had a…a…a crush on me?!"

"Well I'd be lying if I said I never had my suspicions!"

Harry's heart began racing…

_"Have you dropped all suspicions then?"_

_"What suspicions?" _

_"That Master Draco is in love with Potter?"_

"I mean…maybe that's why Pansy wanted to do that to you. Cause if she saw that Malfoy was all hot for you and not her, then if she just, you know…ruined whatever relationship you could have with him before it developed…then…she could save whatever chance she had left…"

Harry plopped down onto the middle couch, muttering,

"I guess I'll never know…"

"Why's that?"

"I told Draco I wouldn't speak to him again."

Ron frowned, "Oh…well…if it makes you feel any better, he probably wouldn't have told anyone anyway."

"Why?" Harry inquired softly, meeting Ron's eyes again.

The redhead shrugged, "His dad would've disowned him. You know how that family is; imagine being Malfoy and having to tell your parents you're hot for their sworn enemy? He was a daddy's-boy, you know that…he wouldn't have risked his father hating him."

"No, he was willing to kill his father for me, he wouldn't be scared of his father hating him…"

"Of course he'd choose killing his father over that!" Ron fought; making Harry's brow perk in interest.

Ron rolled his eyes again, "Come on! Stay with me, Harry! Think about it as if you were Malfoy; you've got option number one, which is coming out to your parents and becoming a complete disgrace to your family and social circle, then being exiled and loathed for all eternity with nowhere to go and no friends. Or option number two, which is saving your idol by killing your father, who, now deceased, can never know your darkest, most shameful secret! And even you said that his mother doesn't give a shit about him, and he doesn't care for Pansy, so his father was really the only obstacle between him and his…ehm…man-loving…"

Harry wanted to laugh, but that would've been too morbid; he simply couldn't believe it. Harry turned his face back to the fire and told his friend,

"You know…after spending so much time with him, Ron…I've got to admit that…I don't think I've ever found anything in the world of muggles or wizards and magic that's quite as mysteriously fantastic than the inner workings of Draco Malfoy."

* * *

"Did you miss me?"

Harry opened his eyes, his hair was fanned out under him on the Gryffindor's dining table while his pajamas felt strangely baggy on him. He rubbed his head as he sat up, looking in front of him to see—

"It's you! C-can you tell me what's happening?"

The faerie smiled, "You already know, Mr. Potter."

"What are you talking about? I've never been more confused! It's been two weeks since I've seen Draco and I'm miserable…but I told him I wouldn't speak to him again…and I imagine he's infuriated with me…"

"I wouldn't say that, Mr. Potter."

"Yeah?" Harry began, "Why's that?"

"Well, isn't it true that he sent Pansy away from him? He's not one to be angry, really. He is too weak to be angry—"

"What do you mean he's too weak?" Harry interjected.

The faerie's expression was sympathetic when it responded, "When all someone knows is anguish, Mr. Potter, there will come a time that it weakens them to the point that they have no energy or bravery left to be angry. Their hearts are tired and worn from pain and that becomes all they can feel. That is why it was nothing short of a miracle that you were able to make that boy smile."

Harry blushed lightly until it continued, "What I was trying to say, Mr. Potter, was that the fact that he wouldn't speak to Pansy means he does not trust her word. If he did, he would have reverted to his old behavior where he showered her with love and attention rather than ignoring her. His sudden distrust means that he is questioning his own honesty, with himself. So I doubt that he has disappeared because he is angry, Mr. Potter, he has most likely disappeared to clear his head and make up his mind."

Harry sighed softly, "Uhm…can I ask a stupid question?"

The faerie nodded, "Yes, of course."

"Uhm…why are you…me?"

The fairy transformed into a human size, making Harry twitch at seeing himself with baby-blue wings and nothing but a pair of white Hakama-like pants. The faerie's voice was finally low like Harry's,

"That's not a stupid question, Mr. Potter. I think you should try out a theory of your own, though."

Harry cocked a brow at himself, "Uhm…I don't have a clue…"

His double snapped and there was something akin to a movie screen in front of them. Harry's heart melted at seeing Draco appear on the screen, it was then that Harry realized it was a memory…

_"A faerie?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"Well that's very significant, Pan. Faeries are very intelligent and spiritual creatures. Your subconscious probably took the form of a faerie to illustrate that it's trustworthy and knows something that you don't. Most likely about yourself. What did it say?"_

Harry watched Pansy's brow sink in concentration, trying to recollect what exactly it was that the pixie told him, _"Well…she wanted me to meet someone I had already met. She told me that seeing someone once isn't enough. To know someone I have to study them, that I have to know them…like the back of my hand…but…"_

A moment of silence passed before Draco's calm voice inquired, _"But what?"_

_"But…"_ The girl trailed off for a moment, _"Well…she stopped making sense…"_

Harry's heart leapt at seeing Draco's vampire smirk when he noted,_ "That's very good, Pan. It means that you're still discovering this part of yourself that you don't know yet. The faerie is symbolic to something about yourself that you don't know yet, but you may not know it because it hasn't fully developed…_

The screen disappeared, to Harry's great displeasure, and he returned his stare to the faerie.

"Uhm…well…if you were a girl before…and now you're me…then…before you were fully developed…I considered you…not…me?"

"Good, good, keep going…"

Harry thought harder, pushing at the bridge of his glasses before continuing, "But now that you're me…that means I've accepted you as me…right?"

"Indeed!"

Harry wanted to continue, but couldn't come up with anything, "Uhm…what does that mean?"

His twin grinned, "Well, come now, Mr. Potter, what am I?"

"You're a faerie…"

"And that makes you…"

Harry blushed, "I-I am not!"

"Harry Potter is a faerie! He's a faerie-faerie-faerie!"

He glared, his face completely red, "S-shut up! I-I can't be…I mean…"

Harry's eyes opened wide suddenly…

"_Of course I remember. Anyway, I had a dream the other night, when we got back from flying. It was…a bit strange…she was…hard to understand sometimes…saying some things that didn't make any sense at all, while…sometimes she spoke in different languages…but…I wasn't in a masquerade, I was in an Azkaban cell. The faerie, though, she told you that you couldn't just meet someone once, that you had to meet them again. The faerie told me…well, she told me something different. Anyway, point being, I think it's the same faerie."_

"_Why do you think that? Didn't you say faeries could symbolize the wisdom of anyone's subconscious?"_

"_That's true, but seeing as she drifted in and out of being coherent, I figured…eh, whatever, nevermind then."_

Harry looked to the pixie, exclaiming, "T-then Draco's a faerie too! Right? Cause he dreamt of one like you! That means he's the same way! Right?"

The faerie smiled, "Oh, you're a fast learner, Mr. Potter."

"Uhm…thanks…me…?"

"Not a problem, really. I didn't mean to be rude, but that's why I never told you my name when you asked."

Harry nodded, "Yes, I suppose that makes sense to me now…"

"Well, now that I make sense to you, I won't be incoherent anymore. That is, unless you doubt yourself. But for now, Mr. Potter, you have to chase after what you want."

"H-how, though?"

"Just remember that Draco runs away from what he cherishes most; it makes it easier for him to be disappointed. Don't let him run away from you. The chase must go on."

* * *

Harry woke with a gasp, the rain and thunder sounding from outside. He looked out the window and the short flashes of bright blue reminded him of a certain Malfoy. He eventually came to terms with the fact that he would not be able to return to sleep and got out of bed. He took his invisibility cloak and headed to the Flying lesson rooms; he found his broom and told himself that he would only feel restless if he didn't go out. He wanted to be punctured by the rain and feel the danger of the shuddering booms. When he made it outside, he went to pull up the hood of his cloak, but when he looked up, he saw someone already levitating.

"D-Draco?"

The blonde seemed intimidated, so he immediately turned around to retrace the trail he had taken back to the castle. Harry's heart jump-started as he ran and lifted, following every curve and turn the Slytherin made.

_"You…you saved me. Thank you."_

_"I don't have to answer to the likes of you."_

_"What are you looking at, Potter?"_

_"That's too bad, Potter, seeing as I've sworn to loathe you for all eternity."_

"Draco! Slow down! Stop!"

_"Hey…Pan…tell me…tell me that you love me."_

_"No. I'm retiring to my room. I want no disturbances."_

_"You should go; imagine someone spots you in my room while I'm barely dressed. They'll think I'm up to no good."_

Draco made a sharp turn to avoid a hippogriff-shaped bush, and Harry followed,

"Please! Draco, stop! I need to talk to you! I need to see you!"

_"You know you can ask me anything, Pan."_

_"Because Harry Potter doesn't use the Killing Curse."_

_"Don't cry. You know I hate to see you cry."_

_"You just watch, Pan. One day I'm gonna get out of here_."

"Draco!"

_"Yes, I've been told that I work a frill."_

_"I'm not a hero. I'm anything but."_

_"I love you."_

At that moment lightning crashed between the two brooms and sent them both flying to the ground. Harry landed on his backside, his head landing roughly in a puddle in the grass. He rubbed a forming bump on the back of his head before rushing over to the figure lying against the stone castle. He was terrified to find blood weaving through the boy's bleach hair and dripping down his forehead and jaw,

"D-Draco! Draco, are you alright?"

The boy's silver eyes opened lowly, "…Harry…"

"Y-yeah, a-are you okay? Come on, I'll take you to the Hospital Wing, I'll—"

"Harry," Draco interrupted, "please tell me…what I should be doing…"

"What?" Harry's brows curved.

His heart stopped at seeing Draco's shimmering eyes brim with tears as he lurched forward and gripped Harry's shoulders,

"W-why am I so confused? I thought y-you were my hero, but if you a-are, that makes Pansy a…a liar, and if she's a liar…if she…Harry, I thought she'd always be with me…I never wanted her to change, I never asked anything of her, I just wanted her to keep me from being all alone! But if she's betrayed me…if she's lied to me…then I'll be alone…"

"No you won't!" Harry cupped Draco's cheek, forcing him to look into his eyes as hot tears dripped over Harry's dirtied fingers, "I'll…I'll stay with you…if you'll have me, Draco, I'll stay with you forever…I never want you to be alone, ever, I don't want you to cry anymore or be in pain anymore, so if you'll have me…I'll stay with you…"

The prince's gaze was desperate, anguished but glazed due to what Harry would later learn was a concussion. Harry ignored the two broke brooms and lifted Draco off the ground, carrying him back to the castle; his heart breaking with ever reluctant sob the Slytherin released into the crook of his neck. Draco's blood was trailing down his back and onto Harry's arm, pattering on the floors of the halls as they grew closer and closer to the Hospital Wing. Draco suddenly made a request,

"Harry…please…don't tell anyone that I cried…"

He fought his own tears at hearing the boy's pitiful voice, "Of course I won't. Just sleep."

That was where Harry made his decision final. He had promised himself to run from Draco Malfoy, but now that his heart plead to him to embrace the prince, he could no longer deny himself his guilty pleasure and he would chase until the very end, if that was what the prince demanded.


	20. Who Loves The Sun

**I made sure to have this up for you, xsilvershadowx.**

**I hope you're happy with it! :3**

**NOT THE END.**

**Thank you to all reviews, adds and PMs! You guys are the bestest!**

* * *

Draco woke in the Hospital Wing, momentarily making him question if he had been thrust back in time in order to feed his heart's hunger to see Harry Potter again. At thinking that the back of his head was struck with a fast shot of pain; he reached up with a hiss to the back of his head and felt the healing bump. The memories of that night flooded his mind and he blushed furiously, slapping his hand to his mouth in dismay as his brows sank in horror. The nurse entered the room quietly, surprised to see him awake,

"Oh, Mr. Malfoy, you're awake. How is your head?"

"Uhm…it's in a bit of pain, but…I'm fine…ehm…this is a strange question, but…how did I get here?"

"What do you mean?"

Draco looked away, his hand falling away, "I mean…I can't remember anything past smashing my head against the castle…I can't remember how I got here…"

"Oh, Mr. Potter carried you."

Draco's face reddened furiously, his heart fluttering unintentionally, "H-he did? Was he okay?"

"Yes, he was only thrown to the mud in your little accident. He came in very wet, very dirty and very bloody, but other than that he had no flesh wounds but a few bruises. But he put up quite a fight."

"Huh?" Draco responded, turning to the woman.

She was straightening the sheets of a bed near to Draco when she replied with a smirk, "He refused to leave you to my care."

"He wouldn't leave?"

"He insisted that he promised to stay with you and intended to fulfill that promise; I don't know what's between you two boys, but I don't think I've ever seen Mr. Potter so desperate. You two must be very good friends."

Draco's heart raced, his red face creating its own pulse…

_"I'll…I'll stay with you…if you'll have me, Draco, I'll stay with you forever…I never want you to be alone, ever, I don't want you to cry anymore or be in pain anymore, so if you'll have me…I'll stay with you…"_

He couldn't stop the flattered, timid smile that formed on his face as he looked to his twiddling fingers and inquired softly,

"I…uhm…was he really worried?"

"So worried. I'm sure he spent the rest of the night pacing in his room." She shook her head with a smile.

"Did he say he'd be back to check on me?"

"I don't recall. If you'd like, I could tell him over the classroom speaker to come and see you—"

"N-no!" Draco blushed more deeply, waving his hands in a criss-cross frantically, "No! That's okay, it's really okay…I'll just wait and see…uhm…thank you, though."

"Not a problem, Mr. Malfoy."

With that she left the blonde to himself. He sat up, wrapping the blanket around him so that only his pallid, bruised shoulders showed. He looked out of the gigantic windows, unable to suppress the girlish smiling and inaudible laughter. He fell onto his side, beaming to the sunlight warming his sore body through the open window. He breathed in deeply, but rather than the semi-rubber cross with benzene that the Hospital Wing normally smelled like, he inhaled the intoxicating scent of Harry Potter. The Chosen One was wafting in his thoughts and refusing to leave, like his favorite song stuck in his head. Draco looked at one of his thin wrists; he had never cut himself or treated his flawless, Malfoy body in such a way. He tended to inwardly praise Harry Potter for that fact; Death would mean Draco could no longer admire Harry Potter in class, or get him in trouble in his secret way of flirting, he could no longer play this cat-mouse chase with the boy, where neither knew what role they played in it.

_"If you'll have me, Draco, I'll stay with you forever."_

He scrunched up more and chuckled aloud until the nurse re-entered, alarming the blonde and forcing him to sit up straight again as she announced,

"You have a visitor, should I allo—"

"Yes! Yes, of course!" He grinned.

The nurse turned and left the room to alert Harry Potter that Draco Malfoy, indeed, wanted to see him. Of course, Draco wanted to see him. He was dying to see him for weeks, he wanted to talk to the boy and forgive him, he wanted to make sure that Harry Potter was truly the hero he always thought him to be.

_"You're my hero."_

The blonde flustered again; what of that? What of the things Harry had told him as Pansy? Did Harry Potter mean those things or was he only playing a convincing role?

Before those thoughts could be ventured further the door opened and Draco twisted his body to jump from the bed and run into prophecy's embrace; however, when he looked to the doorway, there was no Boy Who Lived.

"What are you doing here?"

"I haven't seen you in weeks, Draco…aren't you missing me? Don't you want to talk? I mean…you're hurt, I had to see you, Draco…"

He looked away, seating himself firmly on the bed again, "I'm sorry, Pan, I don't want to talk."

"What do you mean? I told you what happened, why are you in so much pain over me?"

He held to his forehead that pounded uneasily, "I'm not in pain over you, Pansy, I'm mad at you."

There was a heavy silence as Draco realized his own words.

He was mad? How is that?

He couldn't even recall the last time he felt angry. He was young the last time he was this infuriated, he had lacked so much motivation that he had forgotten how it felt…it was somewhat exhilarating.

"Draco…you're…angry at me?"

He glared to her, dropping his arm, "Yes. I'm…furious, really. I…I…I think you…you lied to me."

She was taken aback, "How could I, Draco?! Don't you know I love you? Don't I tell you constantly how I love you like no one else? You know that's true, don't you? You know that there will never be another person who could love you like I do…you know that, right?"

Draco looked away until Pansy added, "Especially Harry Potter."

His heart stopped as he looked back to the girl, her face was dark and hurt,

"Harry Potter could never love you like I do. He'd never be willing to sacrifice all that I'm willing to, he'd never…he'd leave you, Draco. He'd leave you like Lucius and Narcissa and everyone else. You know I'm right. I love you, Draco and that's a truth that Harry Potter tried to taint for a good laugh on your account; don't think on him anymore, Draco, think only of me how I only think of you. Please, Draco…I love you, you know I do…Harry Potter could never love you. He could never understand you the way I do."

_"Don't run away."_

_"In truth, I'm scared that I don't know you at all, Draco and that's why I got angry, I'm sorry…I'm sorry, I don't want you to feel sad or alone, I just want to know you, I want to understand you better…I feel like I don't know you at all…"_

_"I hate to see you so sad, Draco."_

_"I'd put my life in your hands in a heartbeat. Don't doubt me…I mean it."_

_"I love you."_

Was it all a lie then? Was it all a charade? Was he to believe there was no truth in it all? After all, this was a young woman who he knew since birth, someone he entrusted his family name, his honor, his dignity in. His pride balanced on her behavior, her choices and character and he broke his back for her happiness. Was his doubting her pointless pain for her? Was her broken heart, that was his fault, breaking further at his distrust? Should he just believe her and run away with her like he planned? But if it was so easy…why was he hesitating?

"Draco, you know I'd never hurt you like that…"

"How do I know?" Draco looked up to her from under his lashes.

She responded coldly to his distrust, "Well, I have never lied to you, where as it seems Harry Potter has done nothing but lie."

The blonde looked away again, "Where's the proof?"

"Draco, there doesn't have to be any proof. You just need to answer one question."

He looked back to her as she finished, "Do you trust me?"

* * *

"The Awards Ceremony is coming up…it's like…in two days, right?"

"I think. Isn't Draco Malfoy getting one?"

"Will he even show up to it?"

"Where has he been?"

"Well, now he's in the Hospital Wing."

"Oh, Pansy must be worried sick!"

"I dunno, I heard they were fighting…"

"They don't fight!"

Harry was worming through the gossiping crowds until he bumped into his redheaded friend who was walking beside their mutual friend, Hermione Granger, who spoke up first,

"Harry, what's going on?"

Harry shrugged, "How am I supposed to know?"

"We know you must've had something to do with all this, Harry." Ron interjected.

"Why!?" Harry complained.

"You always have something to do with everything."

Harry rolled his eyes, "That's not true."

"Yeah? Well, did you have something to do with this?" Hermione pressed, holding her waist.

Harry looked away, "No…not…not entirely…"

"Oh, so partially?" Ron asked sarcastically.

"Whatever, I'm going to go visit him now, anyway." Harry tried to excuse himself, but Hermione grabbed his arm, turning him back around,

"Didn't he say he didn't want to talk to you again?"

Harry frowned, but his face was much more determined than sad, "Screw that, I'm worried."

He tore from her hold and stormed down the filled hallway until he reached the Hospital Wing. He walked inside, walking up to the nurse and demanding,

"I need to see Draco."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Potter, but he left on his own accord earlier today. You really just missed him by something short of an hour."

Harry's brows sank, "He left?"

"Yes, I'm sorry, Mr. Potter, I suppose you'll have to wait patiently until he returns to class to talk to him."

"Did…" Harry huffed, glancing away for a moment before continuing, "did he say anything or do anything before he left?"

"He asked me who brought him here last night and I told him it was you."

"Yeah?" Harry smiled weakly, "Did he say anything?"

"He asked if you were okay and when I told him you were he asked if you were terribly worried about him. I'm sorry, Mr. Potter, but I couldn't lie to him, I told him you were a mess."

The boy flustered, flicking some hair away from his eyes as he pressed, "Yeah? And did he say anything to that?"

"He wanted you to come and see him."

Harry's heart stopped, his face filled with blood as the nurse continued, "He seemed embarrassed when I offered to call you in over the speakers, so he said he'd wait for a while to see."

Harry took a step closer to the woman, "R-really? Why? Why did he leave, then?"

"I don't know. Ms. Parkinson came to visit and he left shortly after with her."

The Chosen One's face paled, drained of the joy it had been flooded with, "He…left with her?"

"That's how it seemed, Mr. Potter. Sorry I can't be of more help."

Harry backed away, "No, that's…that's okay…thank you, anyway…"

"Of course." She smiled.

* * *

After another restless night, Harry found himself back in his Potions seat, tapping his pencil skittishly against the table as Snape droned on in the monotone way he did. He was about to sigh when the class heard the doors swing open and all attention was thrust onto the entrance of the room, where stood the Prince of Slytherin. Harry blushed, his heart singing at seeing the young man, but Draco did not look to him as he took his seat, announcing,

"Sorry, Professor Snape, Dumbledore needed to see me and only let me out just now."

"Of course, Draco, don't bother with it."

The blonde nodded as the teacher returned his focus back to the board and chalking up notes; slowly the class followed Snape's example, that is, except for Harry. He was filled with strange realizations; somehow it felt as if he had never truly been in a class with Draco before. He was an entirely different person from the Draco Malfoy Harry knew. He was far more beautiful, far more graceful and far more mysterious. He was appealing and so enticing in the way that he bit his bottom lip in concentration and raked his lanky hand through his gorgeous, bleach hair. Harry could hardly keep himself seated; he was itching to talk to Draco, he so missed him. As class dragged on, and Harry received not even a glance from the infamous Malfoy, Snape went on to instruct everyone to their cauldrons. Harry was partnered with Ron and Draco with Pansy. As they were retrieving bottles of ingredients from towering shelves, though, the blonde could be found on the floor. He seethed, holding to his ankle as the professor snapped,

"What the hell happened?!"

The blonde looked up pitifully to the teacher, "I must have tripped over someone else's foot."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm not quite sure…it hurts a lot."

Snape rolled his eyes, looking to the stronger of Draco's droids and demanding,

"You—carry, Draco to the Hospita—"

"Potter." Draco interrupted.

The entire class looked to the Malfoy who only looked at Harry. The charcoal-haired boy blushed furiously as Snape cocked a brow,

"What?"

"Potter. I want Potter to carry me there."

Snape was hesitant, but after a few silent moments he waved them off, turning his back. Harry practically raced to the boy's side, slipping his Quidditch-toned arms behind Draco's knees and around his back. His stomach squirmed at feeling Draco's arms wrap around his shoulders and feeling Draco rest his head in the crook of his neck. He lifted the prince from the floor and quickly exited the room, walking slowly once he did leave to savor the time with Draco. He stayed silent, unsure of what to say until Draco's voice came through,

"You're doing it again."

"S-sorry?"

"Originally I thought I would thank you for carrying me there the other night, but I suppose I've become a bit spoiled off of your heroic services."

Harry's blush deepened, "O-oh. It's not a problem really…uhm…how is your ankle?"

The blonde sighed, his warm breath against Harry's throat sending chills down his spine as he answered aloofly,

"It's been better, I suppose."

"Uhm…Draco, does this…mean you're speaking to me now?"

"I do recall it being you who stopped speaking to me."

Harry nodded subtly, "Can I talk to you, then?"

"You knew I didn't love Pansy."

Harry stopped walking, listening and feeling Draco's words run across the rare skin revealed from his collared shirt.

"What?"

"During detention, a month or so ago, you asked me if I loved her and I told you I didn't. That means…you took her form, knowing full well how I would feel towards you…so I imagine the only reason you wanted to be her, was to know if I was lying or not about loving her."

Harry's voice cracked as he defended, "A-absolutely not!"

He felt the scrawny boy stiffen at his sudden volume change, so he softened his voice before continuing,

"N-no…that's not it, Draco…"

"Then why?"

"You know…you've never asked me that. You never ask me about my intentions."

"That's because all anyone ever does is take from others. You are no exception to that law of human nature, but in this situation…I don't know what you could have taken…unless you wanted a confession to…his murder." Draco murmured.

Harry's digits held tighter to Draco's frame, replying,

"That's…that's not true, Draco. I never wanted anything from you…I just…wanted to know you, Draco."

There was a heavy silence until the blonde inquired childishly,

"Honest?"

"Of course."

"…why?"

Harry rolled his eyes; Draco truly was like a child, all of his answers leading to more and more "why", "why", "why"…

"Because you fascinate me."

"I do?"

"Y-yeah…" Harry was certain Draco could feel his heart pounding.

"But I'm…I'm not fascinating…I'm just…I'm not even…I'm…I'm empty…"

"Draco, if there was one thing I learned about you from that week alone with you is that you are anything but empty."

"You mean that?"

He smiled although he knew Draco could not see it, "Yes."

"Harry…did you mean…those things you said the other night?"

_"If you'll have me, Draco, I'll stay with you forever…"_

"I did. E-every word."

Harry was shocked to feel the prince jump out of his hold, landing firmly on his elegant feet. He wasn't smirking, but there was a smile in his eyes that for a moment appeared to match the sky before he looked away,

"Then you're pretty wonderful, Harry Potter."

"Draco…do you…do you believe me? Are you still marrying Pansy? Is there any—"

"Will you be at the Awards Ceremony?"

Harry gulped inaudibly, "Yeah…"

"I'll see you there, then. And don't you go tattling on me." The blonde warned cutely before flashing one more playful glance before turning on his heels and sashaying down the hall as he always seemed to do.

Harry was more confused than ever, but somehow that uncertainty, that constant inconsistency that was Draco Malfoy warmed him from the inside out, bringing a smile to his face.


	21. Eyes of Beauty and Truth

**Sorry for the hold up; I had a lot of issues with writing this chapter. XP**

**NOT THE END**

**Hope you guys like it! Thank you to all reviews and PMs and adds! Each one is cherished!**

* * *

"You know, Draco…they're saying a lot of stuff about you lately."

The blonde turned to his loyal minions, cocking a brow and looking down on them from beyond his nose,

"So stupidity is contagious?"

The chubbier boy backed away a little, seemingly intimidated at the strange logic,

"W-what?"

"Well, Goyle, let's think here a moment, shall we; I know you're not used to such activities, if you're still unused to that word, it means I am about to clear your cognition of its cupcake-infested wet dreams and replace it with a strategic thought process. Are you quite ready?"

The prince stepped closer as the two backed against the back of the common room's middle couch,

"I am cutting class in order to walk about the Slytherin Common Room by myself; this says a lot, lads, it says that I am in a mood to be alone and in deep thought that requires silence and concentration. Seeing as I am so usually naturally graceful and intelligent, I must be in a rare case of confusion or indecisiveness. With my strained engagement and horrific encounter with Potter two nights ago, you have collected observations that apparently read to you that I do not know people are talking about me."

He ran a hand through his hair, glaring down at them as they seemed to shrink when he continued,

"Then, as I am peacefully in my lonesome, not sparing a word or order to either of you, you decide it is your obligation to disturb me with the comment that people are talking. Well, the only rational reasoning to that must be that you think I am an idiot. However, knowing that I started off so perfect before you two, you must have thought that it was your utter stupidity spreading to me like a disease that caused my I.Q. to drop so low that I could not deduct that people were talking. Thus, your worry and concern gave you the responsibility to stomp right up to me and state something so blatant and doltish as an inquiry, checking that drool was not slipping down my face. Because only your worry that your miniscule intelligence was effecting my well-being could possess you to do something so pointless as telling me…that people are talking. In conclusion, your actions reveal that not only do you think me an idiot, you blame it on yourself. Care to make an argument, my good man?"

The boy was practically shivering in fear, shaking his head vigorously, "N-no, sir."

"Oh, really? So if my thorough hypothesis is incorrect, please, Goyle, tell me what it is that caused you to say what you just said to me?"

"Uhm…I don't—"

"You don't know, aye? You mean to say you did not consider ever single gesture and syllable you were about to gracelessly execute to me before approaching me as is expected of any gentleman? Well, I dare say that I am insulted."

"I-insulted, Draco?"

"Incredibly so. Now what do we say when you insult someone, Goyle?"

"Uhm…s-sorry?"

Draco knelt down a little, looking the boy in his eyes, "Not 'uhm, sorry', just sorry. Try again."

"S-sorry. Sorry, Draco…"

"And why are you sorry?"

"Because…I'm…stupid…"

"Indeed." The boy rose, scowling and ordering, "Now get out of my face and unless someone is bleeding or on fire, leave me be."

They scrambled out of the room, until Draco stopped them at the doors by calling,

"Crabbe."

Said boy turned and stood at attention as a trained soldier and replied confidently, "Yes, Draco?"

"You stay."

"Yes, Draco."

Goyle left shortly after the exchange and the remaining boy stood frozen where he was halted. The blonde looked out the window, his lanky arms behind his back as he interviewed,

"Crabbe…you're betrothed, are you not?"

"Yes, Draco, I am."

"How long?"

"Since birth. Parents arranged it."

Draco's gaze dropped further down the window, his face devoid of any detectable emotion,

"Tell me, Vincent, do you love her?"

"Love her, Draco? Do I love my fiancé are you asking?"

"If you would rather not, I understand. I don't mean to interrogate you, I'm just curious."

The brunette didn't drop his impermeable position as he answered softly,

"I do. I love her, Draco. Don't you love your fiancé?"

Draco turned around, storming up to the boy, "You do? You love her, Vincent? You love her, do you? Truly? More than anything? Would you die for her? Would you kill her if she asked? Would you kill another if she so desired it? Can you truly say you love her? Is it so easy?"

There was a heavy silence as Crabbe slowly responded, "I…didn't know you knew my first name."

"No. No, I don't love Pansy."

"I understand her, then."

Draco's brows curved, "What?"

"I told you, Draco, that I love my fiancé. I never said she loved me."

The blonde backed away hesitantly, "She doesn't love you?"

The supposed droid leaned against the wall near to the door, crossing his arms over his wide chest as he answered,

"Unfortunately. You know, Draco…unrequited love…is possibly the most pure and natural form of torture. I want to bring her something beautiful, I want to be someone she wishes to always be with, someone she loves…" He dropped eye-contact with Draco, looking to his elbow in a dark sadness, "It is the hardest thing, Draco, to look into her eyes when she's looking at me…and see nothing. Just…emptiness…I'd rather her feel pity for me, like me, prefer me, envy me, _hate_ me…but she feels nothing for me…and nothing, Draco…is scarier than anything. It's hard to think you were good enough, hard to think that this is the person you were meant to meet, to think that this is where you're truly meant to be, meant to feel at home…but it's not their place…and you're not who they're looking for. Because there is nothing I can do…to make this better. I don't know if I should lose weight, or gain weight, get muscular or get scrawny; I don't know what to change or what not to change to make her see me…as someone other than me. Because me…is not good enough. I am not someone she could love. She knows just what to say…and just how to act to make me fall more in love with her every time I see her…but I can bring her no happiness. There is no pain greater than that, Draco."

Draco turned away, "Pansy would not love me if she truly knew what I was."

"If you're talking about Lucius, you need to stop beating yourself up over it. You did the right thing."

The blonde sharply turned back around and stared wide-eyed, muttering, "How did you…"

"Draco, I spend every hour of every day around you. I must know something about you, don't you think? I could see it in your eyes. I could hear your voice calling out the curse every time you spoke about him or Potter. I can see the care and thought. You can't hide things from me. Goyle's a different story, he's a dunderhead more than I ever was…but…I'm not so thick. I see right through you. And I'd bet you anything that Pansy does too."

The prince turned and walked back to the tall window, mumbling,

"Then why doesn't she leave me?"

"Desire cannot overwhelm love. Never. And if it does, it was never love in the first place."

He looked to the brunette, "Of course I knew your name. I'm simply guarded. But of course…you knew that already, right?"

"Of course."

"Thank you for this. It was enlightening."

"The feeling's mutual."

"Now, leave me."

"You do know the right thing to do here…right, Draco?"

"Are you calling me an idiot?"

"No, Draco. I'm calling into question your character, not your intelligence."

"Do you think I'm a good person?"

The boy smiled gradually, nodding, "Yes. I do believe, Draco, that you are a good person."

"Then you know exactly what I've decided."

"I do."

"There's nothing to discuss further, then."

Vincent's lips slanted, "If you have come to a decision, why do you need more time to think?"

"Simply because something is predetermined, doesn't mean you let it gallop freely without thought. Do you think a jury walks in and out of a room in one minute? Doesn't matter if they agree a boy has killed his parents, they don't send a boy to his death without searching for a shadow of a reasonable doubt."

"You're looking for doubt?"

"I've never had to look for it."

"You were always so troubled."

Draco smirked dejectedly, "Burdens are heavy to carry alone."

"I don't care what Narcissa and Lucius, may his soul rest in peace, have said to you, Draco. You've always been here, always will be and you were never and will never be alone."

Draco was staring hard at his comrade, "Vincent…if…if my father could be here…what would he think of me? What do you think he would…think of this all? This mess, I've so readily become over something that should have meant nothing to me…a lie, after all…I knew all along, really, she would do anything to have me. How would my father fix this?"

"Knowing Lucius, I imagine he would weigh the two loves to see which was greater; he would want the most out of his love."

"Two loves? Only one has said they love me. I gamble my heart and pride if I leave her."

"It doesn't matter if he's never said it, Potter's made it more than clear that he can't stand it when you're not around. Draco, I know it's love, because I act the same way around Clara."

Draco was watching the passion and nostalgia fill the boy's features as he smiled dreamily,

"I can feel when I get that dumb smile on my face, like a cartoon character…when she's near me or says something to me, if I get any attention, and when she's not spoon-feeding me attention, I'm hungry for it. I see that in all that Potter does when he's near you. He wants you to notice him, because you're the one he wants to be enough for. Maybe that's subconsciously why he wanted to be a hero to everyone. You were no one to him, because he knew nothing about you, so perhaps pleasing everyone else, saving everyone, every kind and type of person…would be saving you too. Then maybe when he realized you were a real person, someone with feelings and thoughts separate from all the others…he realized just why he needed so desperately to please you. I'm sure it kills him to see you so content with Pansy."

"You're telling me that either one I choose I break a heart. You're saying that if I choose my predetermined pick, I ruin someone else's life and vice versa. If I hurt someone in the same way either way, what does it matter if I'm a good person or not?"

"Draco, you do realize you could chose neither, right?"

The prince glared, "Of course I realize that. But…they both would—"

"It doesn't matter; they don't matter, Draco. You have to stop thinking about honor and pride and what other people think of you. You have to do what's right for your heart. You've taken a hit, Draco, a big one and you've got war wounds all over you. It's time to do what sets you free."

"There's more to you than I thought."

"I always knew there was more to you than you showed me, I just waited patiently for you to open up. I'm sure if you dared to open your eyes, you'd see there have been plenty of people waiting up for you."

"I could name a few."

"You better let someone love you before it's too late, Draco."

"I need time to myself now."

"Very well. Good evening, then, Draco."

"Yes. Good evening."

* * *

Harry was lying restlessly in bed, staring at the ceiling as if it had called him by a terrible name. His hands were unconsciously balled across his diaphragm as his thoughts consumed him…

_"I'll…I'll stay with you…if you'll have me, Draco, I'll stay with you forever…I never want you to be alone, ever, I don't want you to cry anymore or be in pain anymore, so if you'll have me…I'll stay with you…"_

He shut his eyes tightly, his fists hitting against his forehead as his face filled with cherry embarrassment. His legs slowly relaxed again as his arms fell away and rested beside either side of his head. He recalled how difficult it was in the beginning, to know anything about Draco Malfoy. How when he was lying in that Hospital bed, he was like a distant figment of a person, someone who wasn't real; just a character in his life. A constant. But he was never that. He was a real human being, a prime example of one, the Optimum Human in Harry's eyes.

_"He wanted you to come and see him."_

"Damn it…" He muttered to himself.

_"Don't speak such rubbish, Pan. You know I'll never leave you. It's been you and me since I was born and it will be you and me until I die, do you hear me?"_

_"I don't know. Ms. Parkinson came to visit and he left shortly after with her."_

Pansy Parkinson.

She really did love Draco, didn't she?

She loved him more than any one human had ever loved another. That motivation, that dedication was strong and overwhelming. It warped her beautiful love into something dark and terrible, though. Harry didn't know whether to feel bad for her or despise her. She was so mixed up and angry at him. Who was he to pass judgment on her heart, though? Who was he to say that she went too far? Who was he to judge her actions? He was just a character in her life. A constant. Someone who always wanted to help, someone who always wanted to know more than what he knew he didn't want to know. But Harry was more than a character, he had a heart and thoughts and ugly parts and proud parts and sad parts to him too. He was a million things who thought of a million different things and said a million different words. He had movies that played in the front of his mind that no one would ever be able to see or understand, he could feel poetry in his heart and had that suffocating feeling in his heart when he watched a sunset. He was his own person, not just a character. But neither was Pansy.

If Draco wasn't a character like Harry had always considered him, if he had a soul and heart and problems of his own, it meant the same for Pansy Parkinson and every other human being he ever encountered. It didn't matter if Harry promised to stay with Draco. Pansy already had. Years and years before Draco Malfoy ever uttered Harry's last name with such disdain. Harry could feel his heart breaking as he recognized that he had no place in Draco's life. Draco didn't love Pansy, but he wanted her to be happy and according to the prince, that was enough for him to pursue her. And who deserved Draco Malfoy more than Pansy Parkinson? Who fought for him the hardest and longest? Who cried and screamed and begged? Harry shouldn't be involved. He was no judge or jury to their sad, one-sided love. He couldn't save everyone, he couldn't be responsible for everyone. Was he just playing hero? Were those dizzying, day-dreamy feelings genuine, or were they an excuse to try and save the cold and distant Prince of Slytherin? And was he bad for that?

At that thought, he remembered seeing that oasis of aqua amid the endless chaos of grey that haunted him for so long. All that pain, all that anguish was vanquished in a moment, in the moment that hope was reignited in Draco's despondent, broken heart. His heart started thumping, his cheeks flustering, his stomach tickling with butterflies…

Yes, he was in love.

His heart sang it to him; he was sincerely, completely, entirely in love with Draco Malfoy. No matter how wrong or twisted it sounded, it felt right and felt good. He wanted Draco all to himself, he didn't want Pansy to have him to call her own. But who was he to Draco Malfoy? What was he to Draco? Did Draco care for him? Did he loathe Harry? Would Harry ever know? Could Harry ever ask? He needed to rest. He needed to sleep, so he could dream of Draco, and kiss him again and touch him again and whisper romantic nothings to him, if only in his dreams. How ridiculous was this? He was head over heels in love with the one person who could never stand him. He smiled to himself; the irony was tangible. How did the hero Harry Potter come to deserve such a torture as unrequited love?


	22. Sometimes It Has To Be

**Sorry for the delay; I was sick and couldn't work on anything. Hope you all enjoy it! **

* * *

_What am I doing?_

Draco was standing there at two in the morning like an idiot, dead frozen in front of the Gryffindor Dormitory door, his fist was lifted to knock but unable to move. The blonde had woken an hour prior from a nightmare; The Dark Lord was back with his father and after screaming and secondary deaths Draco woke in a cold sweat when Harry's soul was traded for his father's. The first few minutes were spent getting over the shock of the nightmare, the next few minutes had been spent wondering when life was twisted so upside-down that Harry Potter's death qualified as a nightmare. He was so shaken and restless afterward that he was possessed to see the Chosen One for himself, to assure he was indeed alive and well, hopefully sleeping peacefully. Draco's heart was echoing in his ears, his face already pink from having run up and down so many staircases, guessing the password and surprising himself by getting past The Fat Lady without hesitation and realizing he had no idea what he would say if and when Harry came to the door to see him. He was shaking slightly, the chill getting to his pallid skin, but for whatever reason, his ready fist would not fall.

He very suddenly heard a creek that frightened him and forced him to take two steps back, his hand abruptly pulling away to stiffen next to his waist as the door swung open. There, just as luck would have it, stood the Boy Who Lived. Apparently unable to sleep as well.

"D-Draco? Is that you?"

"Uhm…uh…y-yes. Uhm-"

"What are you doing here? How did you even get in here?" Harry interviewed, his just-woken, raspy voice making Draco more conscience of the potential of his voice cracking.

"A nightmare, I just, uhm—guessed, I guessed the password, it was really just uhm…you know…a…lucky guess. What are you doing up?" Draco tried taking the spotlight off himself.

Harry was in classic matching pajamas, the striped pants and collared, matching top. He shrugged, adjusting his glasses' position on the bridge of his nose as he explained,

"Couldn't sleep. I haven't been able to sleep for weeks, really."

"O-oh…I'm…sorry to hear that."

"You are?"

"Yeah, sure. I'm an ass without my sleep." Draco commented.

"You're an ass with sleep too, then." Harry joked.

The blonde actually chuckled with him, "I'm only an ass to you."

Harry snorted another laugh, "Tell that to any Gryffindor, I think you'll find some mixed opinions."

"So what? I'm competitive, that's all. And a little opinionated."

"And a little stubborn."

"Yeah, I guess."

"And a little snobby."

"A-alright, I guess, whatever."

"And a little spoiled."

"Well, thank you for the flattery, Potter, I think I'm going to go and try to go back to bed."

As the boy turned sharply on his heal, he heard Harry call after him in a hushed tone,

"H-hey…I didn't mean to actually hurt your feelings, Draco, it was just a joke, really."

He blushed, looking away, "Y-yeah, I know. But I can't get caught here, you know and I really only came to…uhm…to…"

Harry tilted his head, "To what?"

"To…" His face's scarlet shade deepened, "…see…you…"

"You…you did? Uhm, well…why?"

Draco's eyes kept flickering between his twitching hands, his bare feet, stray hair strands that tickled his noise; anywhere but Harry's enchanting gaze, it only made him more nervous. He couldn't determine why exactly, but he truly felt unembarrassed to tell Harry the truth; he was just nervous. Girlishly, flirtatiously, blatantly nervous.

"I had…a nightmare."

"You had a nightmare…so you came to see me?"

"It was about you."

Harry's eyes widened, "Oh, I'm sorry. Ron had a nightmare about me being a vampire and attacking his sister and mother, then I invaded Russia with Death Eaters and mutated flying-pigeon-buffaloes. Was it anything like that?"

Draco's brows pressed together, staring strangely at the boy, "Uhm…no."

"Oh. Okay, well, what did I do?"

"You died."

Harry blushed, his hands distracting themselves with fixing his already aligned lenses as he inquired humbly,

"And that…was a nightmare to you?"

"Yes. It was. I…I just wanted to see you. You know, I didn't want to go back to sleep knowing the last time I saw you, you were dead. I wanted to see you…uhm…being well and lively. T-that's all."

"I like you like this, Draco."

The blonde's blush deepened ten shades, "W-what?"

"I like that you can come looking for me at ridiculous hours to tell me you were frightened at a nightmare where I died. I like that you stammer in front of me too."

"Y-you like that I stammer? Fuck you."

Harry chuckled, "It's not a bad thing, it's just…when you got nervous in front of Pansy…you didn't care about losing your…social grace or anything, and it was like a whole new side of you…and I sort of wished you'd be that comfortable with me. And now you are. It just…makes me happy. It makes me feel close to you."

Draco ventured nearer to the boy, their bed-head hairs that stuck up like springs in front of their foreheads meeting as their proximity tightened. The prince sighed, his breath hinted with mint tea as he mumbled,

"Harry…do…are…uhm…do you…could it be that you're…uhm…do…you…love me?"

"I do." He immediately replied.

Draco abruptly stepped back, his wide eyes shimmering with a fear unlike anything Harry had ever seen.

"Y-you do?"

"I do. I love you."

"You know…you know I'm a boy, right? I'm really not a Veela."

"I know it. I think I like you more for it."

Harry wanted to laugh at the twisted bashfulness on Draco's face; he really was too cute sometimes. Harry hadn't even contemplated sexual attraction; he had blamed it, at first, on Pansy's body's instinct, but even when he left the vessel of the girl, he was spellbound to Draco. That wasn't something he would have tried to hide. It was in Potter blood to be as curious as Harry was.

"Y-you're being irresponsible. Saying all that rubbish so recklessly, you've always been a complete imbecile afte-"

"You're right." Harry interrupted, walking towards the prince gradually without breaking his intent gaze away, "You're absolutely right, I'm irresponsible, I'm reckless and irrational, a complete idiot, you're right, you're right about everything…but it's all the truth. If you want me to stay with you, Draco, I'll stay with you and if you want me to leave…I'll leave…if you were suffocating, I'd give you my breath and if you were falling, I'd give you my flight. I don't think you understand exactly what you've done to me, Malfoy."

The blonde was backed up against the Common Room doors, his heart pumping in his ears and reverberating all over his body as Harry closed in on him. The Chosen One's fingers crawled up and held to Draco's jaw on either side, bringing himself closer; no, Draco Malfoy hadn't a clue of what he'd done to Harry. He was under a spell that was the product of his natural Malfoy Magic, it hypnotized Harry into thinking only of Draco, dreaming only of Draco when he could sleep at all, talking only of Draco, smiling only when Draco would see it; but what was Harry to do? He had tried his hardest to outrun the spell, but it tied him down and forced him to his knees in the indigo prison those mesmerizing irises built in Harry's heart. He had long decided, he would embrace the curse.

Their lips met and Harry realized how much the pleasure was intensified when Draco was actually willing and his body wasn't being crushed to pieces. His hold on Draco's countenance tightened, the adoration swelling in his heart, threatening to burst and flood his entire body with a destructive ecstasy. As the kiss deepened an image displayed itself in Harry's mind's eye; he was still himself, but in a red and gold, sparkling costume, his own mask removed and rather than Draco Malfoy was the mourning boy of the fairytale masquerade in his mind. His black, lace mask turning to smoke to reveal slicked ivory hair, lightly freckled cheeks and reddened ears, hot with sheepish delight. Everyone in the bright, glittering Great Hall applauded them; the woman whose mask was twisted, seemingly unending staircases, the woman whose dress was made completely of ivy and daisies, even the man whose flamboyant robes were carried by little birds. Harry did not hear or feel the fairy there, however, now that he knew its purpose. Harry was without direction and that secret part of him was a question that led him to Draco Malfoy; the answer.

Harry was shocked to feel the prince abruptly pull away, huffing,

"Y-you! You say y-you love me? How could you? How could you possibly know what it feels like? W-what of Pansy's love, is your love s-stronger, is your love better?"

Harry's brows curved as the chilly reality of the Common Room captured him again,

"I don't know, Draco."

There was a heavy silence in which an anxious pain etched its way onto Draco's expression,

"W-what?"

"I don't know. Pansy loves you, Draco…very, very, very much. I don't think I'd be willing to go as far as she went to have you, though, I don't think I'd hurt someone like that. I don't know if that makes my love weaker or purer or what, all I know is that I love you."

Another silence took hold of them until Harry added, "I love you. I know that much is true. Whether Pansy loves you more or not, I could never know, I could never judge…but…no matter how her love grows or shrinks, I will always love you. That is something I know because my heart tells me it's so. Whatever you do and whatever you think of me or her…I just want you to be happy."

Draco's collarbone was pulling in and out of focus as he breathed unsteadily,

"I…I can't be near you right now…"

"Why? Why do you always run like that, Draco? I'm close to you, is that it? You can stutter and get upset in front of me and now you want to run away and be angry?" Harry interrogated.

The blonde was stiff and shaking when he stammered, "D-don't you get it? I-I'm scared, I-I don't know how I'm supposed to feel, I don't-I don't know what I'm supposed to tell you or Pansy or Narcissa, I don't know if I should just fucking abandon Pansy, I don't know what to do, I don't know if I should listen to you or listen to me or listen to Pansy or Narcissa or my father, I don't know what to do c-can't you see that?! Can't you see that this is m-my first time in the woods like this?!"

Harry frowned, "Draco…if I make you hurt…"

The blonde looked straight at Harry, making Harry glance away for a moment in stressful heartache as he finished,

"If I make you hurt, Draco…don't choose me."

The prince's shaking died out, his eyes widening as his tight expression went slack,

"What?"

"If I hurt you, Draco, if all I do is hurt you and make you confused and upset, then choose Pansy…"

Draco walked up cautiously to Harry, pressing his lips nearly insensibly to Harry's cheek before stating under his breath,

"I am so sorry for what I've done to you…"

Harry's emerald eyes began to water as his voice cracked, "Does this mean you've chosen her?"

"My choice was made for me long before you, Harry."

Draco's heart wrenched as Harry cringed back and tears quickly rolled down his cheeks,

"Harry?"

"I-I'm sorry, I've just never…lost the battle when it m-meant this much…"

The blonde breathed out a vulnerable noise from his throat before he turned on his heel, muttering,

"I need to go."

"Go, then."

There was nothing left to say. Draco Malfoy was walking away and there was nothing Harry could do. Not because Harry didn't put up enough of a fight, not because Draco was unloving or unfeeling. Harry could find no more words because Draco Malfoy lived in a cold, grey world of dismal silence; basic, simple, elementary silence. So no words would penetrate and no words would ever be returned to Harry. None that he wanted to hear. He was setting the prince free, letting him chose his own path because Harry was no one to pity. He had let himself fall, he was careless, he was reckless, irrational and idiotic, just as Draco had agreed. So there was nothing left.


	23. Saying Goodbye

"Good evening," Dumbledore greeted, "as everyone knows, this is a bright time where we celebrate the people who most deserve it. To start off the awards ceremony, I think it goes without saying that the first award will be going to Mr. Harry Potter for his outstanding bravery, heroism and strength."

The professor looked to Harry at the Gryffindor's table, the entire Great Hall decorated with candles and golden sparkles falling from the open ceiling. He smiled weakly as the room applauded and he took the stand at the podium. He glanced down at his chest as Dumbledore pulled a necklace of an award over his head, requesting, "Give a speech, Harry."

The majority of the room cheered and the Weasleys rooted, "Speech! Speech! Speech!"

Harry smiled pitifully again, "Uhm, a-alright…"

The room slowly calmed down and a respectful hush fell over everyone. Harry looked around as he searched his mind for the right words until his eyes fell on the Slytherin table. Draco was staring at him, his hands on the table with one being gripped tightly by the beautiful girl beside him. His face was devoid of emotion; just the way it had always been. Harry couldn't tear his gaze away, though as he began,

"This year…was nothing short of…absolutely bizarre."

The Great Hall warmed a little with the low hum of chuckling, even by Snape. Harry looked away from the couple that caused his heart to feel shattered.

"I…uhm…there are a lot of words I could use and a lot of things I've heard before, like…like…I don't know, the same speech over and over, but you all know that. You all know that I love Hogwarts, that I love my friends and I love my classmates and that I love protecting what's important to me. But…I learned something important this year, that I think everyone eventually learns on their own, but…it's something I think should be told to every single person…"

He avoided looking to the blonde, but he could feel his stare; it was a bittersweet feeling.

"I learned this year, that you can't save everyone. I learned that sometimes people use these…these fronts, these masks to hide their weaknesses because the world is so harsh and unforgiving…people, like your neighbors, muggles, wizards, witches, children and adults alike, everyone…they try to…block out these parts they don't like and try to keep what makes them look strong. Whether it's something like a thick book," He looked to Hermione, then to the prince, "or a bodyguard," then he touched his forehead, "or a scar or a hero's name… we use these things to protect ourselves. But some people use these things to hide. And sometimes…you can't bring those people from their shells and you can't break them from their habits…"

Draco's brows creased…

_"I came to see you back." Harry's mellow pitch resounded._

"Say that you love me, Draco." Pansy's voice echoed.

_"I-I was not gawking!"_

_"__Lucius would be so proud, Draco."_

_"I'd knock you out in ten seconds, Malfoy."_

The prince scoffed at the now comical memory of their immature fights before focusing back in on Harry's speech,

"Professors will tell you and adults will tell you that nothing is impossible, and I always believed that to be true, but…sometimes, there are people that…will simply never hear you. I think I cried a lot this year."

The room seemed shocked; he reasoned that muggles would never imagine Superman crying.

"I think I lost a lot of bravery and a lot of confidence that really turned out to be…unsubstantiated. And it's funny, you know, because you can feel like…you're impenetrable, unbeatable…and the moment you find someone or something you want to help, you want to save…you find that it's not your place and they don't want your help. You find that they don't need you."

_"Stop fighting with me, Draco!"_

"I am always thinking of you, Draco."

Draco looked to Pansy's hand clenching to his…

_"Do…uhm…do you love her?"_

"I will always love you, Draco."

_"You told Pansy so! Why can't you tell me the truth!? Why couldn't you tell me that I didn't kill him!? Why couldn't you say that you wanted to protect me!?"_

"This is the way it's supposed to be, Draco, we were meant to be."

_"I'll…I'll stay with you…if you'll have me, Draco, I'll stay with you forever…I never want you to be alone, ever, I don't want you to cry anymore or be in pain anymore, so if you'll have me…I'll stay with you…"_

"Oh, you're wonderful, Draco! I mean, you always are, but that was especially wonderful!"

He looked back to Harry,

"And even though this year I felt the…rejection, you know, the declination, the feeling that I wasn't wanted, that I wasn't needed…I got to feel something good too. This year, I met someone…again. It was someone I treated like I knew everything about, but when it came to the crucial moments and the painful, hidden parts, I knew nothing and I was just…I was an idiot, because I didn't know them at all."

_"That's…that's not true, Draco. I never wanted anything from you…I just…wanted to know you, Draco."_

"I do. I love you, Draco. I love you far more than anyone would ever be capable of. Much more than Harry Potter."

_"I love you. I know that much is true. Whether Pansy loves you more or not, I could never know, I could never judge…but…no matter how her love grows or shrinks, I will always love you. That is something I know because my heart tells me it's so. Whatever you do and whatever you think of me or her…I just want you to be happy."_

His gaze intensified as Harry continued,

"I've learned something you can't find in the library, you can't find it in the streets or in gardens this year. This year, I learned what it was like to truly, deeply love something; to find something you never want to let go of, but you set it free anyway because…you want their stay to be genuine and honest, not forced…never forced…"

_"Do…uhm…do you love her?"_

"You know, I'm being given this award for a lot of wonderful things that I didn't do alone…and…I'm not ashamed to admit that I've had my ass covered by a lot of people who didn't need to do it. There is no way to repay those who saved me. That is something else I learned. There is no…no leveling system of appreciation or love…you just have to give all that you can and hope that those behind their masks will stop hiding the fact that they have so much to give and will give as generously as you do. That way, you will get hurt, yes, and you will be tricked and misled by people who can't stand…that they can't be as trusting and glad to be alive as you…"

_"Do…uhm…do you love her?"_

Draco's eyes widened…

_"Do you love her?"_

"I will always stand for Hogwarts, I will always fight for what I love and care about, whether those things or people return those feelings or not. I will generously give all that I have, and I'll put my faith into those I don't know at all. Whether that's dumb or shockingly intelligent…I can't judge, but neither can any of you. My one final lesson this year, this one last thing…"

_"Do you love her?"_

Draco took his hand back, abruptly standing, causing a few unnoticed people to mutter; Harry didn't acknowledge it, though,

"…I have learned that because I don't know someone, because I can't feel their pain or worm inside their head…I am no one…to pass judgment on their heart…"

_"Do you love her?"_

"There is nothing I'd love more than to say I can feel someone's pain and make a…a bond rather than…a hero-and-victim relationship…that, though, is impossible…so I will generously give,"

_"Do you love her?"_

", all that I have to offer,"

_"Do you love her?"_

",and I will gladly wait until my dying day, to truly save someone…I say that because you can't save anyone from their pain. You can't save anyone from their heartache. You can only give them hope again and assure them that they are strong as any hero. Because every hero cries."

"I love him."

Pansy's pupils shrank as she inaudibly uttered, "…what?"

"Harry…" He murmured.

"Thank you," Harry nodded aseveryone clapped.

The room filled with cheering, some sensitive girls in Hufflepuff wiping at tears as Harry began to step down. Everything seemed in slow motion at first, Harry's ebony hair slowly bouncing behind him as he stepped from one ledge, his eyes looking low and…empty. Harry Potter was a hero, certainly. And Draco knew first hand, that he cried. Draco knew Pansy Parkinson since birth; she was a young woman of greed, manipulation and a strong sense of responsibility. Harry Potter. Pfft. Harry Potter was reckless, idiotic, careless and his polar opposite. Surely not the person he was meant to be with. Surely not the person he was meant to love. But Draco's cheeks began to heat and his eyes began to film with tears as he finally learned the difference between their loves; Pansy's was unending, gluttonous and forced by duty. Harry's love, though…Harry's love…

_"Draco, how are you feeling?"_

_"I love you. I know that much is true."_

_"…if you'll have me, Draco, I'll stay with you forever…"_

_"I do. I love you."_

Harry's love was selfless, giving and overwhelming. That undying love, that lavish, ample, tangible love turned him into someone he used to be and more. While Pansy was wonderfully consistent and calm like the lake, Harry was a constant inconsistency; Pansy could offer Draco a life in which he never had to change his ways, he could be as hopeless and cold as he intended to be. He didn't want to be, though. And Harry's mere presence altered Draco into that hopeful child again. He made Draco a better person. Draco then recalled words his father once gave him,

_"Love is watching someone die."_

In his heart, he knew that was wrong. Love was giving the dead your life.

_"Get it by your hands."_

That, though, was something Draco couldn't argue with.

"Harry!"

The entire hall seemed to turn towards the prince, the cheering of those who hadn't noticed still continuing. The Chosen One's eyes widened at seeing a tear drop down the Slytherin's face before he sprinted from his bolted spot and threw himself onto the Boy Who Lived. As if a graduation gift from the Heavens, the Prince of Slytherin was kissing him; the room gasped. A million voices were whistling, ridiculing, laughing, gasping; Harry actually heard Hermione shout out,

"GAH! I KNEW IT!"

Harry smiled into the kiss, feeling the tug of a chuckle on Draco's lips until they pulled away and Draco confessed,

"You're right…you were right, you were always stronger than me…and…you were wrong about one thing…"

"I was?" Harry was too lighthearted and enraptured to listen to insults or give attention to all those staring with saucer eyes. "About what?"

"You said…I was never empty…looking back now…I don't think I was ever empty…but I think…my world was…" Draco blushed lightly, making Harry's face go red in admiration of the girlish fluster, "…but now that you've come into my world and made…made it…full…I'd…I'd like you to stay…"

"You would?" Harry grinned.

"Yeah…"

"Does that mean-"

"You're the one I've chosen. Not because you're easy to be with, Potter, don't get me wrong, if I were using my logic, you'd be the last person I'd ever…" He sighed, "I chose you because…I love you…"

"Or you can't stand the idea of me being with anyone else, you selfish prince."

"Or that."

They smiled to each other balefully as Draco leaned in and kissed the boy again; Pansy was most likely crying or running from the room. Draco was almost appalled to search himself and find no sympathy. He was too busy being ecstatic to care, though. He had a feeling that the rush he felt in Harry's kiss and the unstoppable race of his heart was something that, much like the hope Harry instilled in his heart, was something that would never fade. He knew that because his heart told him it was so.


	24. Epilouge

"I didn't start it, it's not my fault that Weasel can't admit when he's wrong."

The redhead's face boiled with anger as Hermione mentioned, "Draco, don't push it, Ron's not exactly the rational type."

"I don't have to like you just cause your Harry's boyfriend." Ron sneered.

"You're just jealous."

Ron was practically shaking, Hermione chuckling at her own boyfriend's aggravation; Draco had truly gotten a hang of getting Ron worked up. The blonde stuck his tongue out with a smirk, walking backwards in the hall in front of the duo before bumping into something. He looked behind him to find the boy of his dreams,

"Ah…uhm…Harry, hello…"

"What were you doing just now?"

Ron pointed at Draco and shot in an accusatory tone, "HIM! HE STARTED IT!"

"No I didn't!" Draco glared to Ron, "You started it you overgrown Clabbert!"

Ron's jaw dropped, but Hermione silenced him and told Harry with a growing smile, "They've been at it for an hour now, I'll just go with Ron to Potions and hope you two catch up?"

Harry nodded, smirking, "Yeah."

___

* * *

_

Hermione and Ron turned the corner; the brunette giggled,

"Sheesh, they are always together these days…it's only our sixth year…I sometimes wonder what Harry would do without Draco…"

"Well, sixth year…Harry'd probably have started stalking him by now."

"No he wouldn't! Harry's not that obsessed."

"Have you seen the way he eyes him? Harry's a dirty pervert, I'd bet you anything. He's like a…a really high-end, creepy fangirl."

"Like Moaning Myrtle?"

"…yes, like Moaning Myrtle."

___

* * *

_

"Draco," Harry began darkly.

The blonde turned to him completely, painting a poorly convincing innocent mask as he started,

"I didn't do anything, I swear! Ron's always the one starting it, you know that, you know he always starts it. Just like you always did."

Harry scowled, blushing, "I never started it, you always started it."

"Nuh-unh, you started it."

Harry opened his mouth to defend himself, but foresaw the endless trap that Ron had fallen into. He shut his mouth sharply before rewinding back to his more serious tone,

"Draco, I…I saw you with Pansy yesterday at lunch…"

The prince pinched the sides of Harry's glasses, balancing the stems on his own ears before exclaiming,

"Dear Merlin, Harry, you're blind as a bat!"

"Draco," He insisted, taking the boy's hand.

Draco glanced to their entwined fingers, then back to his boyfriend before muttering,

"You're really upset about this…"

"Yes, I am, I don't want you talking to her anymore…"

"I love it when you get controlling like that."

Harry blushed, taking his glasses back and violently sliding them back on; they were slightly tilted, which elicited some condescending giggling from the blonde boy.

"Y-you listen here, Draco, I mean it, I don't want you talking to her."

"Why?"

Harry pouted, "She…she…well, honestly, Draco, doesn't go without saying?"

"No, Harry, I want to know why you don't like me being with her." He teased.

The ebony-haired boy looked away, "Because I start to think that you like her."

"Why would I ever be attracted to her? She controlled me, lied to me, manipulated me when I offered her everything, what does she have that you don't that would possibly ever attract me?"

"Uhm…a vagina?"

Draco's face scrunched up before he burst out laughing, "Oh, Merlin, you're insecure cause you haven't got me in the sack yet? Really? Oh, this is too good! And here I was thinking you couldn't be more of a girl!"

Harry glared again, "H-hey, shut up! I have a right to be kind of…nervous—you know, I don't really appreciate that ridiculing, I-"

Draco put a slender finger against Harry's lips, his face still flushed from Harry's answer, his lips still curled with humor,

"Alright, Harry, what do you say to this? You and me go to Potions and work up a bit of a scene, earn some detention and tonight we can show that shrinking room just what good friends we've become?"

Harry's heart pounded; maybe he wasn't ready. No he was. Maybe. Probably. Probably not. No, yes he was ready. No he wasn't. God, no, yes he was. He was nervous, just nervous. Draco had that kind of effect on Harry; so unnerving, but relaxing at the same time. He went to speak but was interrupted by Draco pushing his chest and shouting,

"GOD, **SHUT UP**, POTTER!"

Harry looked bewildered at first, stepping back to catch his own fall before looking back at Draco. The blonde smirked, his charming indigo eyes twinkling with mischievous intentions as he muttered,

"You're hot, Harry, but really dumb."

"Shut up."

"That's the spirit! Get mad like you used to, come on, hit me! I dare you, Potter, come and get me!" He started laughing sinisterly as he ran off, and as always, Harry chased after.

No matter if in good humor or distress, Harry would always run after the prince. The chase would forever go on. It must, after all, because a story, a story of true love most of all, never truly ends. Because true love never ends.

* * *

**THANK YOU TO ALL ADDS, FAVORITES, FANARTS, REVIEWS AND PMS! It was all so appreciated and cherished, thank you to all the support, it was a lot of fun to write this and have such a cool audience! Thank you so much! I'll be back soon with a whole new fanfic for these two, and I hope my comeback is just as successful! Thank you all for the patience and encouragement! **


End file.
